Defining What is Meaningful: Knowing what Mountains are Worth the Climb

We are exploring the power of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in shaping one's trajectory and highlighting the importance of knowing what you truly want.

The INSPIRE Framework:
a guide for assessing and defining meaning and purpose in life:

• I - Introspection: Reflect on core values and passions.
• N - Nurture Passions: Cultivate interests and passions.
• S - Set Meaningful Goals: Define meaningful goals aligned with values.
• P - Positive Relationships: Prioritize supportive relationships.
• I - Impact Others: Contribute positively to others' lives.
• R - Resilience and Growth: Embrace challenges and focus on growth.
• E - Embrace Gratitude: Practice mindfulness and gratitude.

Finding vs. Defining Meaning:
There is a distinction between finding and defining meaning, emphasizing the power to create and shape meaning in life.  

Remember that the pursuit of meaning is a personal journey that involves exploration and adaptation. To download the Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Your Life Timeline and embark on your own journey of self-discovery, CLICK HERE. Don't be afraid to raise your hand,  and schedule a coaching session, it's free - my gift to you! 


"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Links:

• Charting Your Life's Journey: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Your Life Timeline:  CLICK HERE
• Schedule a 100% Obligation-Free Coaching Session: CLICK HERE

Transcript

0:59

Hello and welcome back to the default to yes, podcast. I'm glad that you're here. And I hope that your week is getting off to a good start so far. So it's my birthday month. And to me, my birthday is like new years. It's when I evaluate and adjust my goals, I set my intentions. And I'm designing a practice of intermittent fasting. And I talked to all about that in episode 27, and I am really enjoying the feedback I'm getting from that. So keep it coming on again. this is something that I'm finally. Experiencing some consistency in this practice and having fun with it and feeling really good about it. I also started a journaling practice. that's not something I've done daily. And consistently for a long time, I'm giving it a shot again, because of the benefits revealed by research. And same thing with fasting is I spend some time researching these things, hearing the stories, and the few times that I've experienced breakthrough as a result of just sitting down, slowing down enough to write it out. I'm giving it a try again and again, I use the growth day app for that, and then I can electronically journal. I am still looking for. A paper journal I have an intention of purchasing, a journal. So I can write it out on paper right now, I'm using the growth day app. an app that I use listen to the daily fire by Brendon Burchard That's part of my morning ritual and and it has all the tools in there for goal setting and journaling. so those are two of the practices that I have up to my game on as a result of my. Whole birthday evaluation and setting new intentions. I'm also revisited my lifetime line. And this is an exercise that I've implemented into mentoring and coaching for a years. I like to reflect on the overall picture and make sure that I'm still on a trajectory that I want to be on. I do this from time to time. Reflecting on conversations over the past week, including one with my accountability group, I gave, began to feel like I was about to uncover something about my own trajectory. And I got curious, Have you ever had an emotional response to something that gets said, maybe in a conversation, maybe it's something that said directly to you. Maybe it's just in a conversation. Regardless. You begin first that physiological response. And then the emotion comes. And you're not really sure where it's coming from. That's what happened to me a couple of times this last week. And when we know emotions always come from thoughts. So we start there. So what's the trigger circumstance or facts, the. The thought that follows it. Maybe sometimes those are thoughts that are playing in the background. I call them soundtracks. Soundtracks that play in the back ground of our minds. Those stories that we tell ourselves over and over again. The thoughts that what we think about the circumstance, then the emotion follows. Behavior follows and then the outcome is what we get as a result. And sometimes that is not a very intentional process. And it always goes along that path. And this is always, this is actually often the framework of a coaching session. Cause not always easy to know what we're thinking and we should not always believe what we think. It's important to be intentional about that now. this conversation is going to be for those days that you lose the thread on what you're doing with your life, for what you're doing with your day. Why do you work where you work, live, where you live, volunteer, where you volunteer? Hang with who you hang with. And this all might be a very affirming process and it may be a trigger for change. Either way, this can be a very good thing. Carrie is a friend and a colleague and an accountability partner of mine. And thank you, Carrie, for sharing what it looks like when you default to yes. And thank you for your contribution to the world and Being present. And intentional To make your unique contribution. I always love hearing from you guys on what it looks like for you to default to. Yes. So please let me know if, if you want to share what it looks like for you. by clicking the link below and getting on the list, email me, Let me know what it looks like for you. So a few years back, I experienced a profound burnout due to circumstances, somewhat outside my control. and I was given the opportunity to decide. Not to live my life for someone else's dream. When we work a job. We are employees and we can be dedicated employees, do an amazing job and master the skill to be excellent at what we do. And none of that has to mean that we are doing that for our employer. It's a distinction that we can create for ourselves. So if things change in our job, new leadership, new schedule, new rules, job elimination, due to restructuring our downsizing or in my case, I lost my job when I spoke up about something that I saw. As an ethical issue. Regardless of the situation. If we're going to be able to continue to learn and grow, to find out what is possible. We have to know what we really want and we have to order our steps around our own dreams. If you're an employee that may mean being okay with finding another place to work or practice. It may mean not being an employee at all, regardless of your circumstance. Again, one thing that my coach reminds me is that high-performers can do almost anything. They set their heart and mind to. But not every mountain is worth the climb. The tricky thing for many is knowing or clarifying what actually is meaningful. This is what came up for it, my accountability group this week, this is a topic that I have been asked to talk about. In several nursing groups in the conference setting, when I do this talk, I have the group? Do you have visualization exercise? At the end. And then I asked them to step into action. I love hearing afterwards, all of the various ways, this plays out what it looks like, and it's very different for each one of us. It's important that our intention. Is always to be nothing less and nothing more than we were meant to be. And that is where we will find what we are looking for. being who we are meant to be. But that also means not making up stories about what that is or playing small because of some story we are telling ourselves that is not based in truth. Remember homeostasis? I've talked about that. In past episodes. it's that instinctive process that will always be at work. To keep us comfortable and safe to resist change and challenge, even when it's exactly what we need. there's a quote by Don. Harold is its unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it. Maybe that resonates with you. I know it's certainly a check for me Because I get excited about other people's passions and other people's visions. It's hard for me sometimes to go places and see needs and not jump in right away and meet them, or to assume that I even know the best way to accomplish that. we would go to a wedding of. Friends they would express a need or something that Got forgotten or something that wasn't going well. And I would immediately spring into action thinking, I just want to make this go well, this is their dream. And I want to make this go well. And as a result, I would disappear to go get sandwiches for the bridal party. I would miss the entire event Because I'm doing something that maybe needed to be done. And maybe it was a good thing, But it wasn't necessarily mine to do. When researchers try to identify what is meaningful to people, They often focus on how important you say an activity is to you. How much time you spend at it? How committed are you? How attached to it. You are, And whether you would do the work despite low compensation, they try to figure out Whether you see the work as just a job or an important career or calling, and They often associate a clear sense of purpose. With an overall sense of meaning in life. Now someone asked me this week about the distinction between a job and a career, as it relates to a sense of meaning. And ask me what I make those mean. And to just define those terms for the sake of this conversation, a job is a specific position. Or work role that you have often with a focus on short term tasks and immediate financial gain. Career on the other hand is a long-term pursuit of your professional goals involving continuous skill development. And often spanning multiple jobs and positions over time. within the nursing profession, there are nurses that view their practice as a nurse, as both. And sometimes it goes back and forth. It's interchangeable. So being a nurse for me started as a career and then became a job As we started into church planting. And then parenting and my heart and attention were elsewhere. It then morphed back into more of a career. As I found something in it to pursue with passion. For me that was research and essential oils. Aroma therapy. Interesting enough, my actual job position didn't change. So I had just piggybacked a career pursuit onto a job. That I could easily give up I was good at it. It would fund the mission and it gave me some pretty amazing opportunities and connections. And I guess I'm still doing that. Is it a career or a job? I would say yes. And I decided that it didn't matter. As long as I'm pursuing what I'm called to, to live playfully. A life of purpose, promise and presence to love openly, to imagine what is possible and expect beyond what I can think or imagine, and then in to inspire others to live love, imagine and inspire. So back to finding that sense of meaning and purpose. that's where I always need to start unpacking this for myself. in his book, high performance habits, Brendon Burchard shares. research over years with high-performers. They found four factors that emerged when it came to defining what is meaningful. Enthusiasm. Connection satisfaction and coherence, which means that it makes sense within their life context. And this is where I go back to that lifetime line. It's a fun exercise. And if you'd ever like to try it, I'll put a link in the show notes to guide you. So that you can go through that for yourself Now for the purpose of our discussion today, I came up with a framework that we can use to assess and evaluate. So when your birthday rolls around or new year's or today, or if you want to check in with yourself, I like to do this every first of the month. Now the first time you do the lifelong trajectory, it's going to take a little bit of time But once you have it done, You can just build on that. You can reflect on that. And it's a lot quicker process. So you could do it regularly. Like I said, I like to do it. It's the first of every month, flip the calendar to a brand new page. Celebrate and reflect now here's the framework. that I've worked into. The acronym inspire. First of all is introspection. You want to start with reflection to discover your values and your passions. Begin by taking that time, ask yourself questions, like what truly matters to me and what are my core values and beliefs. Reflect on your past experiences and the moments when you felt the most fulfilled. And as for nurture, nurture those passions, you want to cultivate and explore your interests and passions. What activities make you lose track of time? What are those conversations that could keep you up? At all hours of the night. What are you naturally drawn to? Identifying your passions can help you find those purposeful pursuits. S this for set meaningful goals. Define clear, meaningful goals for different aspects of your life. Like your career, your or job relationships, personal growth and contribution to others. These goals should align with your values and. And passions. And by keeping them all on one. And went place on this timeline. You'll be able to easily identify that Living. In alignment with your values can create a more purposeful and authentic life. We all want to live authentically. And sometimes that's a little hard to get at if we're not super intentional. Consider the legacy that you want to leave behind and the impact that you want to make on the world. How do you want to be remembered? And what mark do you want to leave? Who is it that you have in mind that you want to remember, that you want to leave this legacy for? And we just saw the movie Oppenheimer and I'm still unpacking a lot of the ethical issues Around the story, but it's a really good example of an individual who with passion and talent. With who in the pursuit of what was possible may have given up what aligned with core values and beliefs. So that whole, we know we can do it, but should we do it? we have to be careful, especially with the influence of social media. And we don't that we don't drift in a direction that we don't really want to go because of what we think is expected of us. Popular opinion or societal pressure. maybe you're not feeling that pressure. But I will say It comes up a lot in coaching. And it's a lot of times it's running underneath there that somebody expects something and you don't even know where that voice in your head came from? All right. P is for positive relationships. prioritize building and nurturing positive relationships with family, friends, and mentors. And like-minded individuals who will support your journey towards meaning and purpose. If you are someone who values and finds personal growth, fun. And challenging and and that brings meaning and purpose to your days. Find those people who also value that and who won't let you off the hook for. For settling for less. Don't hesitate to seek support or guidance from mentors, from a coach therapist, or support groups. My accountability partners are an important part of my journey. They can provide valuable insights and encouragement along the journey. Ask me those difficult questions. Not let me off the hook. Raise your hand in support of others to get involved and to get support where you need it. And this is something that I've been very intentional about it really exploring is specifically accountability and those accountability relationships I've found them to be so important to keeping me on track. And helping me from drifting Or taking a mountain that I didn't really need to take. All right. I is for impact. serving others. And making a contribution is really what we are all made for. We're designed to serve. And to connect. Look for those opportunities to make a positive impact on the lives of others. We can find them easily every day. They're all around us. Acts of kindness, volunteering and helping those in need. I can bring that profound sense of purpose. And they can teach us about ourselves and what we care about. R is resilience and growth. Embrace challenges and focus on personal growth. I love to be part of communities that are all about growing and learning. But all of that comes with challenges. If we view our challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning, we can embrace them as part of our journey towards that. Meaning and purpose. Engaging in activities that bring you into that state of flow, where you are fully immersed and engaged. these experiences often lead to a heightened sense of meaning. and recognize that your sense of meaning and purpose can evolve over time. Be open to adapting your goals and pursuits as you grow and change. E is for embrace gratitude. Practice gratitude and appreciate the positive aspects of life. This is going to include mindfulness. I don't actually know if I've. Put a single episode out that I haven't focused on mindfulness. it's such a valuable practice and leads us to being able to be present in the moment. Being fully present in your daily experiences can deepen your connection to life's meaning. It can bring meaning and purpose out of the, even the most mundane. Practices and moments in our day. I'm always impressed by that. I hope this acronym or this framework inspire, can serve as a memorable guide on the journey to defining meaning and purpose in our lives. Notice that I didn't say finding meaning and purpose. This is another distinction that I want to create. Finding meaning. Is about recognizing and appreciating the existing sources of meaning in life. While defining meaning involves that consciously shaping your life to align with your values and aspirations. Both approaches coexist. And we can use a combination of both to cultivate that deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment. Ultimately the distinction lies in whether the emphasis is on discovering. What already has meaning or actively creating and shaping what is meaningful to you? Now in an effort to allow both to weave in and out of my own experience. I like to say that we don't find meaning and purpose. We bring it. So if you are in a job that feels out of alignment, as I have bed for a years. No that you get to choose, find meaning, or bring it, Create it, that's what I've done. And that's what many of my clients are doing as well. So if you're in a place with a job or a circumstance that isn't bringing you joy. You have the power to change that? You can create a workaround and get on or get back to the path that you were meant for. I know this applies to a lot of jobs and professions. I know a lot of people that are in jobs that they just, they go to mostly just to provide that financial piece that we all need, we need to make a living. We need to pay our bills. I know nurses, and I know that nurses are creating side gigs. They are going out on their own. They are using their current situation as a springboard. To do what they define as meaningful. Nurses are masters at work around out of necessity. Really. They show up to serve and care for others, and they're finding their voice. They're finding a way to turn things around in healthcare, at least on their own career path. That's the space where they hold the most influence and often is a space also a largely ignored by administration. So for example, while administration pours time and money into how to keep nurses for two or three years, Nurses have actually figured out how to increase their salaries. by leaving their current job and going to a new one. In that same amount of time. they're finding ways to make what they do more meaningful. Remember that the pursuit of meaning and purpose is a personal and ongoing journey. It may involve exploration, experimentation, and adaptation. You may have to change the circles that you run in. And the thoughts that you're thinking, be patient with yourself and stay open to discovering new facets of meaning as you navigate life's twists and turns. Thanks for tuning in today. And don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with your friends, families, and colleagues. click the link below. Download the inspire framework and get started on your own extraordinary journey towards getting clear about how you define and bring meaning and purpose to life. We've touched on some intricacies of meaning and how it can be both found and defined. Practice being present. Mindful and grateful. Sometimes that's all it takes to be able to see what is already there. Now to dive deeper into the inspire framework and get on your journey. Click the link below to download the guide. And if you would like to raise your hand and get a little more guidance, schedule your a hundred percent obligation free coaching session, you will be amazed at what we can accomplish together in a very short time. Ralph Waldo Emerson is quoted as saying to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. So go do that. Trust your ability to create meaning and purpose, to bring it to life. As you go out every day to default to yes. Your extraordinary self.