Emotional Intelligence as a Foundation to Solving All Of Our Problems

Strengthening our emotional intelligence is honing a crucial life skill that can significantly enhance our overall well-being. It equips us with the ability to better manage stress, navigate conflicts, and foster healthier relationships, ultimately leading to reduced anxiety and improved mental health. By becoming more emotionally intelligent, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and others, paving the way for greater personal contentment and a more fulfilling life. And we can avoid the traps of feedback falling into one of four quadrants along the axes of caring personally and challenging directly: “obnoxious aggression,” “manipulative insincerity,” and “ruinous empathy,”  (Read Kim Scott's book for more on that if you too desire a "bullshit free zone where people love their work and working together". I think this applies to any of the spaces that we live and interact with others on a regular basis - it's not just for bosses.)

Self Evaluation Tool and Full List of References

References: 

• "Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity" by Kim Scott
• "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves
• "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" by Brené Brown
• "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" by Daniel Goleman

Default to YES!  (Your Extraordinary Self)

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Juli Reynolds, BSN, RN is a Board Certified Nurse Coach and Aromatherapist

Transcript

0:59

Welcome back. I'm glad you are choosing to default to your extraordinary self today by tuning in. We are going to talk about something that today I actually hesitated on talking about this at all, because I'm really still studying it. And there's a lot to learn and a lot of growth to happen over our lifetime in this area. We are bombarded every day with information deadlines and endless expectations interactions. And options and all of this, it's really easy to overlook an essential skill that we need to navigate. And this starts when we're young and continues on probably all through life. But once we're adults, it just gets assumed. That we will have this skill mastered by now, And that is emotional intelligence. Now there might be many of you who've never really considered. Intentionally emotional intelligence, but I can guarantee that it's at play all day every day. And because self-awareness is really where personal growth begins, we're going to talk about emotional intelligence today and explore what it is, the science behind it. And some practical tips on how to evaluate. And enhance it. Because, whether it is your own ETQ getting in the way of your goals or it's that if someone else's that's causing you trouble, the solution is really the same. And it really all starts with awareness. Now emotional intelligence is a powerful tool. That can significantly impact our personal and professional lives. It plays out in our families, in our workplaces, in our. Our in our communities. And it's not a fixed trait. It's a skill that can be cultivated and enhanced over time. And it's never too late to develop a skill. There are some components that are wrapped up into the definition of emotional intelligence. self-awareness self-regulation. Empathy, social skills, motivation. And how we can be. More emotionally intelligent individuals. how we show up in those areas. Ultimately, this is going to lead to greater success and happiness and fulfilling relationships. Now I bring this up this week because in a conversation that I had a couple of weeks ago led me back to assessing my own ETQ. I have from time to time struggle to identify my emotions. Now I know my conscious feelings but I'm not always sure what the emotion is. Specifically, because I can react the same way. To when I'm hurt when I'm angry, when I'm excited, the feelings are sometimes the same. So identify that emotion can be a little bit, you get to take it a little bit deeper. To identify that. it's mostly comes up for me. When someone blocks my goals, I don't think I'm unique in this at all. But when I don't understand the behavior of another or I feel betrayed or if I just feel annoyed. That is not where it stops because to feel annoyed and blame it on the other person was not going to ever get me anywhere. so I had to dig deeper and this goes back to really what I was a teenager. To get good at quickly understanding those triggers so that I could manage those in a way that would be helpful and get to the solution side or get the outcome that I want. Now it still comes up, but my thought is this doesn't make any sense. Or I know the best way to do this. Or recognizing a problem when others aren't seeing it. And maybe they're just not seeing it yet. I knew that I had to change my thoughts to ones of two thoughts of curiosity and embracing different perspectives. Now, this still gets me and anybody who's worked closely with me knows that because it's usually not very long before. It surfaces. Now I hopefully I also demonstrate maybe a quicker turnaround than I did maybe when in my twenties or in my teens. Hopefully. but I can be really passionate about making things better, finding the best way. And I'm not always patient about getting there. Now I had had to learn over time, how to do that. Bye. Embracing other perspectives. Now what brought this up in the first place was A couple of weeks ago, the concept of ruinous empathy. came up at work. I had never even heard the term. And I was joking about how I would never have to worry about this being my experience. And then I really said that because I have been accused of being cynical blunt, bold matter of fact, I am not easily deterred from task by emotions. All of those are things that I have heard over time. No one has ever. accused me of being over empathetic. And all of this has led me to think of myself. As lacking empathy. When the boys were young, it was a focus of mine to, I wondered all the time. How was I going to teach them empathy? And how could I make sure that I was displaying or that I was modeling? Empathy. So when the term ruinous empathy, was mentioned, I quickly dismissed this as something that I would never have to worry about in my own way of relating, But I got curious and I got the book. mostly, because I assumed that if this author talked about ruinous empathy, she probably also covered the opposite, which she does, and she calls that obnoxious aggression or manipulative insincerity. And while I'm still learning what this particular author offers as terms to describe our tendencies. I do like the mission and that was to create bullshit free zones where people love their work and working together. Who doesn't want more of that. I know, at least in my experience, I gave up on getting any helpful guidance from leaders a long time ago. A few times that I've gotten that from leaders, even when it came in the form, a matter of fact comment, like that's a cynical view or. One leader said to me, in passing sarcasm can be easily misunderstood. You should be more aware that not everyone appreciates it or even understands it. And then she just moved on. Didn't really engage much. At all. And then on the other hand, I have had leaders that. Ask me questions. When I got curious would you like to research that more or how can I support you and learning that. Those interactions have been thought provoking and they led to my growth. And that is really what I want. So there have been times when leaders have said things and. And honestly, whether they were said correctly or not, it was still helpful feedback. so now going back to the concept of ruinous empathy, why did I automatically jump to conclusion that ruinous empathy Was not something that I would fall into. So I did some more investigating it. the book I'm referring to is by Kim Scott and her book is called radical candor. Be a kick-ass boss without losing your humanity. It's a good book and it's a good read. I'm actually listening to it on audible. So you, so if you are a boss, And you want it to learn a little bit more about this? It is a good book. I've been listening also to her YouTube channel. And and that's been educational as well. So going back to ruin us empathy, it refers to a communication style that while well, intentioned. I can have negative consequences, particularly in the professional context. Ruinous empathy occurs when someone cares deeply about another person's feelings, but avoid giving Honest and constructive feedback because they fear it might hurt or upset the individual. In essence, it's a form of empathy taken to an extreme where it leads to a lack of clarity, accountability, or personal or professional growth. Now the breakdown of the key components of. Ruinous empathy, according to Kim Scott or caring too much, So these people genuinely care about the wellbeing and the feelings of others, and they don't. Want to cause discomfort or emotional distress. Another aspect of this is avoiding those tough conversations. They might sugarcoat or withhold information to spare another's feelings. That's actually what I see more of from my perspective. And so this actually looking at all of these components, Gave me a really good look at. It's not just that they don't have the courage to have the conversation or that they're not paying attention. It's an, all of these things might be in place. So caring too much, wanting to avoid the tough conversations. the other problem with ruinous empathy is that lack of accountability. Avoiding honest feedback can mean that problems or mistakes go on addressed. Maybe your team member, your friend, your child, your coworker, because you're not having these conversations, don't even know that there's a problem. and. This can hinder personal and professional growth. So stagnation is another aspect of ruinous empathy without constructive feedback and opportunities for improvement, individuals might be complacent and not strive for growth or excellence. And this can be detrimental, both for the individual and organizational success. this is such an important topic and it needs to be addressed. I love that. I have a manager that is addressing this and is looking at these things. Ruinous empathy can be especially problematic in leadership and management roles, because leaders who practice ruinous empathy might find it challenging to hold their team members accountable, provide constructive criticism. Or make necessary decisions, all of which can impact the organizational's overall per performance. And the growth of their team members. As a professional nurse. I am seeing a huge gap here. I think that we could create more time for for some conversations, Kim Scott's radical candor. Proposes an alternative communication approach that encourages leaders to combine caring personally with challenging directly. And I love that. And she refers to that as radical candor. So again, if you're a leader and You are wanting to have those communications. And I would say this applies to parenting as well, or any kind of team leadership. That, when you care about the wellbeing of others, We need to look at the whole picture on his communication while demonstrating empathy and that concerned for their wellbeing. Can lead us to being able to have that directness and provide valuable feedback and foster that culture of growth and improvement. So all of this led me to the bigger picture of emotional intelligence, because we really have to be able to pay attention. We need to be able to process these things. Quickly and in a way that's not painful to us personally, before we can bring. This kind of communication forward. Now again, emotional intelligence. It often is referred to EDI or EEQ emotional quotient. It's the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and effectively use our emotions. And those of others. It's that capacity to navigate that complex world of feelings, both within ourselves and in our relationships with others. Emotional intelligence is that capacity to recognize your feelings. And the feelings of others to be able to motivate yourself and to manage those emotions effectively. And I think this is all the foundation of being able to to even identify. Is ruinous empathy, something that Is it play or is it Manipulation or that over aggressive communication. We experienced feelings consciously, but we can experience emotions. Emotions consciously or subconsciously. And our emotions stimulate an impact, almost everything that we do not understanding or managing them all can lead to this kind of miscommunication. To conflicts to poor decision-making to disrupted relationships, both at home and at work. Now remember too, that it is our thoughts that generate our emotions. Feelings that lead to those behaviors that give us the outcomes that we get. And That might not always be the same as the outcome we desire. And that's why all of this is so important and why we need to think about our thinking. So we're going to talk about some characteristics of emotional intelligence. as I talk about these things, be evaluating where you think you are in this identify, do I ever do this? Do I sometimes do this? Is this always at play. give yourself a one to five scale of maybe Five is. Never and one is always, and as I talk about these things, rate yourself on a scale of one to five. And maybe you can have a good evaluation by the time we're done talking about this. I first of all, emotional awareness and that's that ability to recognize our emotions. Differentiate among different ones and understand the impact of emotions. and knowing that other people might understand and experience emotions differently than you do. And also you might turn her emotions at others. So being sensitive to the possibility will also help you. Communicate more effectively. The question is, are you highly tuned into your emotions? Are you aware? Can you recognize and identify the emotion that you were experiencing? Do you know why you feel a particular emotion at any given time? And can you use your understanding of your emotions to guide your actions? And I'm still working on using that awareness to help me connect with my feelings. When I interact with others personally and professionally, and sometimes there's a gap there. I do recognize that. and now I've learned the, to keep that to myself and take time and saying, I I have to be honest, I'm not connecting right now to this. That's not always the way to go, but sometimes it's just the honest way to go to let someone know that you're hanging in there with them. You're trying to understand, but could we just take a moment and. Unpack this, can you tell me more about this? And use that emotional awareness to guide your decisions and interactions with friends and family and colleagues or acquaintances. In addition to this awareness can help you predict your reactions to people or situations which may help you respond more effectively to remove yourself from the situations that you were not ready to handle. In personal and social settings or at work. And this is why we, Talk about boundaries, it's okay to set boundaries, to know and be aware of What you are able to handle effectively. At any given time, and sometimes it's just knowing your triggers, knowing the thoughts and knowing that you're working on being able to connect in that place. But really evaluate that emotional awareness. First of all, do you know the thoughts that are producing those emotions or those feelings? That are then setting your behaviors in motion. Do you even know what those are? You can feel it in your body as it rises up. But what is it? What is that thought? Are you able to stop yourself in that moment and know. What that thought is. So self-management is another aspect of emotional intelligence and that's your ability to manage your emotions effectively. This all of course works together. Emotional self-control is that ability to keep emotions under control. Other people are influenced by emotions more or less than you are. Understanding that other individuals levels of self control can help you communicate with them more effectively. So if you have someone that is very much more empathetic or More feeling or motor emotions driven. Then you know, that you have to tread lightly on the when you're giving honest feedback. another way to evaluate this in your own life is. To look at the patterns. Do you keep a check on your reactions or behavior even in stressful times? And do you find ways to calm yourself? have you been able to focus on the thoughts that are running in your mind and then change those negative thoughts to positive ones? To handle emotionally charged situations. And then another thing to ask yourself is, can you identify the reason behind your emotions? because that's going to help you control them more effectively. All right. So another aspect of emotional intelligence, when we're talking about awareness. His achievement orientation, and now achievement orientation is our desire to meet or exceed a standard of excellence. Now people are on the spectrum here as well. People might seek achievements more or less than you do. And understanding other's individual achievement. Orientation is also going to help you better understand how they manage themselves. So if your response indicates that challenges or goals drive you. Then you need to believe in yourself and your ability To meet and achieve your goals. This is where self motivation comes in, and you're going to maybe take on new challenges in a way that other people don't. maybe you're a bigger risk taker. You set more challenging goals. All of these aspects of awareness are important, it all starts with self-awareness and social awareness and applying our understanding of emotions to our dealings with others. And this is where empathy comes into play. Empathy is understanding others' feelings and perspectives as if they were yours. Now other people may be more or less empathetic than you are. We all have different styles. Understanding others, individual empathy levels is going to help you communicate and interact with them or effectively. Empathy again, is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. If for example, if you know someone who is less empathetic, You may want to be more direct. In your communication. On the other hand, if someone is highly empathetic, you want to focus more on how they're feeling and show that you understand their perspective. By recognizing and adapting to the different empathy levels, you can build stronger relationships and improve your overall communication skills. And this is something that we can all do better at. Empathy is a crucial human skill that allows us to understand and connect with each other. If you're looking to enhance your empathy, here are a couple of things that you can do. First of all, practice active listening. Active listening involves paying full attention to what someone is saying. I think for me, I'm less empathetic and so if you're my friend, You can communicate more directly to me. But with my colleagues or my friends, my family members who are more empathetic. Then I need to just understand that about them and I need to listen. Without interpreting or interrupting or judging what they're saying. It also might mean responding with empathy By putting myself in the other person's shoes or understanding their perspectives. And that can be really challenging. So practice active listening, make that something that you try this week with someone who has a totally different style than you do for me. Again, it's listening to all the feelings first to be able to figure out what it is that we're actually talking about. But for me, that is really just taking some deep breaths and not just active, listening, painful. Thankful attention to what the other person is saying. The other thing that you can do of course, is to read literature or watch movies that explore different perspectives. Reading or watching movies watching shows can. That explore the different perspectives can help us develop empathy by exposing us to the experiences and emotions of others. And this is going to help better understand and relate to people who are different from you. That is something that I see. Definitely we need more of is too. Not just dismiss people who are different from us, but to embrace and to relate to people. Okay. Let's so let's talk a little bit about organizational awareness cause that. Is something that we take into our communities. Even our family dynamics in church dynamics and definitely in the workplace. This is that ability to read a group's emotional dynamics and power relationships. I remember first starting a job and my staff leader. Notice that I was being quiet coming in and she wanted to know was what I was processing, how I was doing, because I wasn't really saying anything. And I wasn't really engaging. She said, I see you're listening and I see her paying attention. You're doing a great job, but I don't see you really engaging a whole lot. And this was just a couple of weeks into the employment. And I explained to her that kind of what I do. And I grew up as I hold back a little bit to see what the dynamics are. Now. Some people can just Walk into a room and assess that quickly. And that hasn't been my experience. I get maybe some vibes that I really need to unpack because I don't want to react on something that are making assumption, especially coming into a new group as a new person. I don't want to have any misunderstandings. So I hold back a little bit on what I say and do in a new group. And especially until I know who the real leader is, a lot of times it workplaces, we know who the person. That has the position of leadership is. But sometimes we miss who's really in charge and that can cost us and it can lead us into trouble if we're not aware of who is really run of the show. And I remember that caused her to of course ask me who I thought after a couple of weeks in the workplace who was running the show and she, wasn't actually very surprised by my answer. Okay, so there's that, but organizational awareness is that ability to read a group's emotional dynamic and power relationships. Other people might be more or less aware of group dynamics than you understanding that there are individuals that are sensitive to emotions in a group can also help you understand their perspectives and their reactions. Which will help you work with groups more effectively. There are times when there's just somebody that you know is going to react very emotionally or strongly to any sense of change. And just knowing that when a change rolls out, you know who is going to need more time to adapt. And it's easier to go with that than to fight it. And I think a lot of times we are just that's on them. They're adults grow up, but I think we could go a long way if we could just understand those perspectives. And work with that. By being more aware of the people around you and the relationships they have with others, you can actually gain valuable insights that can help you navigate through complex. So complex social situations. And whether you're dealing with a difficult coworker or trying to build a stronger relationship with friends and family members, those dynamics are important in and can be incredibly helpful. To gain an understanding. Now one benefit of increased awareness is again also going to be the ability to identify potential conflicts before they escalate into full blown problems. When you understand the various personalities and motivations are at play in a given situation, you can spot potential issues before they become serious. You can give the, that'll give you the opportunity to address them directly and proactively. Rather than simply reacting to the fallout. Once things have gone really wrong. This also helps you remove yourself from the situation. If you know that it's going to be an issue that you don't feel like you're going to have the any influence over. Now beyond conflict resolution being more aware of social networks can also help become, help us become better leaders. And by understanding the unique strengths and weaknesses of your team, you can leverage their skills and talents to achieve goals. Sometimes pairing people together or when you're building a team, you can actually use that to balance out and get the best information. You can use that awareness to build stronger connections between team members. Fostering that more collaborative and supportive work environment. So I think you can see What a powerful tool that increased awareness is, and be willing to invest yourself In that understanding. Emotional intelligence of course starts with understanding. Yourself, your own emotions, how you feel, what you're thinking. And really. gaining a good understanding of that so that you can manage that effectively. And then that moves to your outer circles. Relationship management and And there's one more aspect of emotional intelligence and that's when it comes to influence. Now influence is the ability to persuade others. And there are people that are better than others. And more influential than others. And by understanding. Influencing skills. We can better understand interactions and the influence that. That we see. Take place in various relationships and settings. The influence is an important aspect of our personal and our professional lives. It can help us achieve our goals and build our relationships. and make a positive impact on the world. However, influence is not just about convincing others to do what we want. It's also about listening to others, understanding their perspectives. And finding common ground that benefits everyone involved. So when I say influence, it doesn't mean that you are the person that stands in front of the room and tells everyone. what we're going to do, and everyone just falls in line and does it, they're convinced. This can be a quiet. influencer. That people just look to because They have common ground and trust. And by studying other people's influencing skills, we can learn from their successes and failures. And improve our own abilities and this can be especially valuable in leadership positions. When the ability to influence others can make a significant difference in achieving those organizational goals. So ultimately the key to being an effective influencer is to approach interactions with empathy. To respect and a willingness to collaborate. By focusing on building those positive relationships, finding win-win solutions. We can create that culture of influence that benefits everyone involved. So whether you prefer to be a follower more than you prefer to be an influencer. You may not want to convince or persuade others to your viewpoints, and you may not recognize your influence on others, or you may not be able, you may feel like you're not able to influence others. But it's really important to understand that in every action that we take, every word we speak has the potential to impact those around us. So really whether we realize it or not, we all have the power to influence others in positive. Or negative ways. So it's important to be mindful of our actions and our words, and strive to make a positive impact on those that we interact with. And by doing this, we can create that ripple effect of kindness and positivity. That can make a real difference in the world. So even if you don't think you have the ability to influence others, know that you do and that you are influencing them, whether you mean to or not. And that using that power. To make the world a better place is something that you do with intention. And it comes out of self-awareness. It comes with understanding and building these skills. When you don't build these skills and you just. go always on gut reaction or knee-jerk reactions, you're still having influence. It just might not be the influence that you want to have. So you may not want to influence others, but. If you work, if you are out in the world, if you're a parent, if you're a friend. Family member, if you relate to people. You are an influencer. If you are a nurse, just by definition of being a nurse, you're an influencer. So you might as well make the best of it. If you work to increase your influencing skills, you could help your friends, family, his loved ones and colleagues more easily. For example, you could gain supporters for a social cause or initiative that you want to plan with people. In addition, by developing the skill, you could convince people at work on activities and projects and lead them towards a vision or change or gain support for a viewpoint that you strongly hold. A couple of ways to. To work towards this as first of all, just take time to know the people that you want to influence. And find common ground. Listen to their needs and concerns and show them that you value Their opinions. When you have a strong relationship with someone, it becomes easier to influence them. That is very lacking. And when we are driving a project from save. As a team member and we don't have a seat at the table necessarily, or we're not in the room. And I used to call this the elevator principle. If we're not in the elevator, if we're not in the social functions, if we're not in the hallway is talking to people, then the boardroom almost means nothing. All the decisions get made on that really out of relationship, whether we want to acknowledge that or not. So taking time to get to know the people that you want to influence and find a common ground. I know that when I was moving a research project, I was in this position a lot. I didn't know the people that I was going into meetings with. I didn't work closely with them. I was this nurse that was going to show up at the meeting and tell them what we're working on. And I found that I needed to take some opportunities that I, that didn't necessarily directly correlate. I went to conferences and I sat at tables and I hung out a little bit. I went into my day off to these meetings so that I could hang out in the hallway and get on the elevators. If I knew where the decision-makers were going to be. Then I would show up and get to know them and find out what they care about. I would listen closely to the things Those causes that they were championing. So that I could speak to that. And maybe that would be something that what I was working on would actually help them get to their goals. And it just became easier to relate. And I could also then start to see why maybe something that I was advocating for was moving slowly because maybe it was conflicting with one of the goals that they were really working on. So I needed to assess that as well. So taking time to get to know people that you want to influence and finding common ground, listen to their needs and concerns, show them that you value their opinions. The other thing is just to listen actively to other people and understand their point of view. This can help you tailor your message to their needs and increase the likelihood of them being influenced by you. Now I know we all have people. On our teams. We have friends, we have family members that will say they don't care what other people think and that they're not going to change. And they are not going to do something different Because of someone else's needs and. That's just, sad actually, because I think with a little effort or intention we could all create a better situation. That said, I think all of this comes back to that Sometimes we have missed that intention that we place on really being self-aware. We have missed some of the intention on emotional intelligence and understanding what that means. And understanding that is not a fixed state. That is something that we can grow and we can build skills in. I am never going to be done building skills in this area. I know And it is really challenging for me sometimes too. I understand, or to connect with somebody, especially those who refer to yourselves as M paths. I'm trying. I am really trying and I can, and I actually come to really love and value having empaths in my life. And I will stand back a little bit when things get tense. For the empath. I know that it's more painful for them. Conflict is more painful because they feel all of that. But I think I, but I can also let them off the hook because they also need to be self-aware and learn how to regulate and many of them, because that is so painful for them have had to. So if you're an empath, I just want to honor you. I want to honor that you have had this in your face. Just naturally. And you've had to learn how to regulate and how to overcome, how to relate to a world That seems uncaring at times. And so I honor you, I acknowledge you. And. Just keep showing up for the rest of us, help us feel more, help us connect more. You have a gift, don't treat it like it's a burden. Turn it into a gift and a strength so that you can make the world a better place, a more loving place. So thank you for all that work that you have done. And know that those of us who don't have that same. Gift. Are working on it. All right. So by building strong relationships and using effective communication, You can increase your influencing skills and achieve goals. And remember influencing others is not about manipulation or control. It's about meaningful connections and finding common ground. So there are a lot of aspects about emotional intelligence that trickles out to are really the way we relate to the world. Are you a mentor? Do you find yourself mentoring other people being asked to mentor or coach? Have you conflict management, are you often asked to manage conflict or help other people manage conflict? Are you good managing conflict. What kind of leadership style do you have? Are you more inspirational? Are you more task oriented or goal oriented? Do you recognize that people need vision? All of those things are things that are aspects of emotional intelligence or come out of a strong emotional intelligence. So emotional intelligence basically is the capacity to recognize our feelings. And those of others to motivate others, to manage emotions effectively in ourselves and in others. And developing competence in areas of self-awareness self-management social awareness, relationship management, all of those things are going to help reduce stress. And develop meaningful relationships with colleagues, friends, and loved ones. This comes out of self-awareness self-regulation. Empathy, social skills, motivation. Those are the five areas that you can look at in your life to evaluate and see how you are and where you're going. All right. I've listed some reading and some different resources in the show notes. If you want it to get a better understanding. Of what emotional intelligence and begin with that. Self-awareness. Have fun with that. And of course, if you enjoyed this episode, Share it with your friends, maybe that'll spark some conversation and you'll be able to discuss emotional intelligence and how we relate to each other with your friend or with your family members. I appreciate it would mean a lot to me. If you did share, I'd like to create a great big community of those who do get up every day and default to yes. All right. So emotional intelligence impacts our lives and wellbeing by improving our relationships, reducing our stress. Allowing us to better regulate our emotions. It helps decision making and greater job performance and career success. We can raise our EEQ by acknowledging those reactions and emotional responses without judgment, consider how they affect your behavior. And then improve. Self-regulation develop some strategies to manage your emotions and respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. By showing empathy. Practice empathy. by actively listening and validating the feelings of others. And last enhance relationships. We can focus on building and maintaining healthy relationships through effective communication. And strong skills. So that's your framework for raising your EEQ? And incorporating this framework into your life can help you elevate your EEQ leading to more fulfilling relationships and greater wellbeing. Remember, emotional intelligence is a skill that can be cultivated and refined. And by doing so you'll unlock the doors to a richer life as you get up every day and default to your extraordinary self.