Adaptability - Don't Wait Until You Need It to Get It

Adaptability is a valuable skill that everyone should possess to navigate change with grace and emerge stronger. Understanding the science behind adaptability, recognizing and overcoming obstacles, and implementing practical tips are key. Those with this strength should help others see the benefits of staying open and flexible. 

The saying, "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change," holds true. Embrace adaptability, take curves as they come, and default to yes to thrive in the ever-changing landscape of life.

Transcript

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Welcome back to another week on our journey of getting up every day and defaulting to yes, your extraordinary self. Personal growth is always an adventure. And so I'm really glad to get to go on this. And venture with you as we learn how to navigate and all the ups and downs and the twists, and turns that that makes up this beautiful journey of life. So today I'm going to talk about. Mastering the art of adaptability. This is something that we all get to do. Some of us get to do it more than others on a daily basis. Sometimes it's monthly, weekly, but there's always new things coming at us. And the ability to adapt is a crucial skill for. Succeeding and for having that fulfillment in the end, when things don't go even necessarily, as we planned, the art of adaptability goes beyond simply weathering change. It's about thriving in the face of uncertainty and embracing new. Opportunities. And navigating the challenges that life throws our way. I think that, especially in our culture, when we set goals and we create a picture of what things should look like. We almost take it as we take it. As defeat when it doesn't go, the way that we planned. Sometimes we work really hard at those plans and we prepare for a really long time to make things go the way that we think they should. Or we have a picture that culture has painted. On how things should look or what, how they should turn out. And sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. And I have a lot of conversations like this with clients and personal with. Friends and family members, when things don't go. The way that we planned, we take that as defeat. Last week. I had a little big lesson in adapting. I think I shared. and you experienced that in the podcast. When I shared a mindfulness practice with you instead of a regular episode. I was sick and I lost my voice last week. And when I went to publish the episode that I had recorded, it had just disappeared into a black hole of cyberspace. and I couldn't even redo it because I had no voice. I had spent the time to record it. I could see the soundtrack was there and just like my voice, when I hit play, there was nothing there. So I had to adapt, and this on the grand scheme of things, a small example of adapting. But. For me, that was just the beginning of a lesson. And nothing but adapting. Now for me, it, again, it was a short time and I knew that there was going to be an end. I had no reason to think that this was going to be longer than a couple of weeks. but what about when the changes happen that are more longstanding or permanent? When things don't turn out in our career or our family. What about when it there's just no recovery of what we have that picture that we had in our mind. How things would turn out. That can be even a bigger challenge. And we can internalize that as something as a personal failure. And I'd like to normalize that a little bit today for us and give us a way to process adaptability. And to think about it as being more of a normal part of life than maybe what we give it credit. I would venture to say that more times than not things are going to go differently than what we plan when we set out. I think we should probably consider it more of a phenomenon when we plan something and it goes exactly according to plan and we get exactly the outcome that we want. Is very normal for things to change. I think we need to be careful about labeling something as failure, just because it didn't go the way that we. Thought it should. In fact, the word should in general is kind of dangerous whenever that comes into play, where this should have happened, or I should have done this. Those are, that's like a red flag. So always ask yourself where that word should came from. my followup question sometimes is I heard you say you should have done this, or it should have. gone this way. Tell me more about that. So really ask yourself. Who said that you should have done this or this should have gone that way. I can't remember who it was said, you know, stop shitting all over yourself. And I love that. So remember that next time that you're making plans or things, aren't going the way that, You thought they should. So again, let's make change. Normal let's make obstacles. Just part of the way that we go about doing things that we're going to let's make them all normal and let's take the pressure off of things going the way that we intended for them to go. That's not always the victory. The victory is in getting there. Despite what happens along the way. And still thriving and still succeeding and finding joy And finding your way through. And being open to sometimes that outcome is better than the one that you could see. I like to imagine that the outcome is going to be above and beyond what I could ever think or imagine. And that is something that I hold onto. So when things change. I'm a little quicker. To acknowledge the beauty in that Now back to adaptability as a acquired skill or a talent. You may be familiar with strengths finders. I believe it's Clifton StrengthFinders now. I've taken the test. A number of times, and I've been coached on this. And so I, my mind automatically went to adaptability as a strength and wanting to know more about that strength. And I took another look at my assessment or my strength profile to see where adaptability really is on that list. Now, according to Gallup people who are especially talented in adaptability, in a theme, prefer to go with the flow. They tend to be more in the now people who can take things as they come and discover the future. One day at a time. Maybe you are somebody like that. And you can celebrate this topic as being something that you really Excel at But maybe you are. Not somebody who's particularly adaptable and go with the flow and. In which case the go with the flow people can be rather annoying. And they're the first people who, when something goes wrong. Are there to tell you that it's going to be fine. It'll be okay. It's no problem. Because they are more go with the flow. Okay. You can probably guess even by my tone, which one I am. I'm not keeping that a secret. But this is something that we all need to acknowledge that we're not all the same or the same in the same place with this. But my point is that this comes more naturally to some than it does to others, but it's an acquirable skill. We can work on this. We can get better. We can embrace adaptability. When we need to. If you take nothing else from this whole episode is that this is a normal part of life, things change, and we need to adapt. Whether we're good at it or not. It's a fact. So people, again, going back to people who this comes naturally for, they tend to expect detours as inevitable and in some strange way, actually almost looked forward to them because they're flexible and they can stay productive. When the demands of work are pulling in a lot of different directions. Now adaptability is that ability to adjust, to changing circumstances and environments. It involves being flexible open-minded and willing to learn from new experiences. People who are highly adaptable are often better equipped to handle stress and uncertainty. Not necessarily, but a lot of times at least can have the appearance of that because they're able to stay calm and focused in the face of challenges and they are less likely to become overwhelmed or discouraged. Now I will say that. In my personal experience, they're also the people who don't have rock solid plans. Haven't spent a lot of time. Setting their S their plans in stone. And so whether that's a good or a bad, I don't know, but there's also that piece, their plans and their outcomes are a little more movable than those who maybe aren't as adaptable now to let you know where I am on this is there are 34 strengths in the Gallup strength finders. And adaptability is number 31 for me. So this doesn't come naturally for me and I have to be intentional. But like I said, the good news is that this can be developed and improved over time. We can practice skills. Like problem-solving decision-making. And communication. That we can then use those to become more adaptable and better able to navigate the complex situations. If you're a leader, this is also something that tender stand because organizations that prioritize adaptability tend to be more innovative and successful. They tend to encourage the team to be flexible and creative and companies are more able to stay competitive and respond more effectively to changes in the market. They know how to pivot and I think. I know that in healthcare, this is crucial and there are a lot of healthcare institutions. That take. Way too long to pivot in the changing times. And I think that's a lot of our problem in healthcare right now. Is that there is that a little bit of inflexibility. Oh, that goes along with that. But I think we saw. Two in the. During the pandemic, especially we had a really intense lesson on how important it is to be able to be flexible and creative and to stay competitive and to respond effectively to change. We also see that didn't turn out so well for a lot of people who were unable to do that. So that also highlights what an important skill. This is not just as individuals. But as a community. It's also important to notice that adaptability is not always a positive trait. In some cases, people may become too adaptable and lose sight of their values and priorities. So it's important to maintain a balance between these things being flexible and staying true to oneself. So being too adaptable and you can adapt to an environment that maybe doesn't align with your true self or your values. And wake up years from now and wonder what in the world happened? How did I get here? This is just doesn't feel like me. I think we can be influenced by culture. Just by being inundated by cultural values and trying to go with the flow and be agreeable. We give in to some things that maybe we don't need to just because it's easier. So this week, I read all about adaptability and I may not come by it naturally, but in the moment I can learn. And so I want to talk a little bit about first, the science behind adaptability, and then explore that role of neuro-plasticity. And uncover a couple of practical tips for those who may be needing to enhance the skill a little bit. Now, first of all, neuro-plasticity is the brain's remarkable, fascinating ability to adapt. The core of adaptability lies in the concept of neuro-plasticity. So that's basically the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming the new neural connections. This allows the brain to adapt and learn from experiences and enables us to adjust our thoughts and our behaviors or emotions. In response to things that change in our circumstance. Scientific research suggests that engaging in new experiences, learning new skills and being exposed to diverse environments can stimulate neuro-plasticity. So as we embrace change the brain rewires itself. enhancing cognitive flexibility and resilience. So what this means is the more we challenge our brains, the more adaptable we become. And this is the brilliance in in a lot of the creation of puzzles and games that we play. Using the non-dominant hand, there are all sorts of different exercises that we can do just to push our brains a little bit out of the comfort zone. And be able to work on these things a little more passively and have some fun with it. Now. With anything. When we set out to master a new skill after we determined the goal and in this case to be more adaptable we can assess the gap. So let's talk about overcoming some of the obstacles to adaptability. What might stand in that gap in the way of us? Becoming more adaptable. The first, despite its importance in the moment we know we might be in the moment knowing that we need to adapt, Knowing that things are about to not go down the way we had planned. And for the long haul, we know that we need to adjust but it can be a struggle to embrace that whole idea. Because we don't like to have our goals blocked or our plans changed. So that resistance. Is real. Now I had a lot of times have these conversations. My clients will share things with me that when we're assessing. That may stand in the way of adjusting or adapting. And a lot of times I see that it coming down to the fear of the unknown. This is that uncertainty that accompanies change brings up the fear and anxiety. It keeps us from our ability or our desire to adapt because we have maybe planned or we've envisioned how things are going to go. And now something that we didn't foresee, or maybe sometimes even something that we could have first seen. Comes up and blocks our goals. Maybe we get sick. Maybe we get injured. Maybe the money doesn't come in. Maybe the price changes, maybe someone backs out of the plan and that you were really counting on. There are things that. we're not able to recover without having to find a new way. Then we start to think about maybe this isn't really supposed to happen. Maybe we start to fear that if we go forward, we're going to fail or the anxiety of maybe investing more, whatever it is. That's coming up. Just to bring that forward and put it on the table because sometimes those are things that we just can't know. And then we have to ask ourselves like if we, that we don't know, those things are gonna happen. What if if it doesn't play out that way so we can. If we're in the face of the unknown, we could get to tell our own stories. We get to tell the story that we want, because we don't have evidence for either one anyway. Okay. So fear of the unknown is something that we just need to bring up acknowledge and put it out there as we process what could stand in our way of creating a new plan or adjusting. Two. The way things are going to go. The second thing is that rigidity and thinking and a kind of am covering all of that as I bring up the obstacles and the, in the first place. Anytime we have a fixed mindset. This is going to limit adaptability. that's when we get to tell ourselves a different story and embrace more of a growth mindset, which is going to view challenges as opportunities for growth. And that is really key to getting past that rigid thinking. Adapting to new situations and challenges as crucial is, as it is, can be very difficult. And unfortunately, a lot of people are. held back by more of a fixed mindset than what maybe we even want to admit, and that can limit our ability to adapt and change. And then we miss out on some of the really beautiful, exciting adventures. This is a tough one because chances are, if you're listening to a podcast on defaulting to your extraordinary self, this applies more maybe to those that, you know, than it does to you. You've all been there. You've had a friend that has a problem and you want to help. So you make a suggestion or you ask questions. On what they've tried or just have a conversation or sit with them. In the face of change, or maybe you listen to other people make suggestions on what has worked for them. But nothing anyone says is going to convince them to try something new because in their minds, it's just a done deal. It's over. They can't have this, they can't do that. That. This doesn't work for them and that's just, it's fixed and there's nothing going to to, they're not going to waiver in that. And that can be very frustrating. But next time you see that or witnessed that. One of the things that that I like to do intentionally is just like how fascinating that their brain works that way. And then you can tap into some gratitude and wonder I wonder what is really going on there. And it's a way to really learn about your friend. And it's a way to learn about ourselves as well. As we interact with other people, but like I said, it's a tough one. Because self-awareness, it all starts there and self-awareness is something that can be very challenging. But it is the first step towards change. And. It is also something that is very easy to run from for a very long time. Most of the time I think getting this is where journaling comes in to play or coaching. Confiding in a friend. Because when we say it out loud or when we write it down, some of that awareness just floods in. And so if we don't take the time to really process and become aware, we can hold ourselves back that way as well. And that's when that. I would say rigidity or thought rigidity often stems from deeply ingrained beliefs that may not serve our best interest. And by questioning these beliefs, we can open ourselves up. To new perspectives and possibilities. But that has to be an intentional process. Sometimes we need to take ourselves through a process of cognitive restructuring to reframe negative or rigid thoughts. And this involves again, consciously and intentionally choosing thoughts that are more empowering or aligned with. Your goals. And wellbeing. I refer to this a lot of times as the story is that we tell ourselves, and Telling yourself a story about something that could happen, something that could go wrong, something that someone could be thinking. And when we lack evidence for our story, we might as well be telling the story that actually serves us. So change up that story. If you don't have evidence, either way, you might as well. Tell yourself a good story about how it is going to work out or how it is working for you instead of against you or how it's happening for you instead of happening to you. All right. So all starts with self-awareness and then practicing acceptance. Acceptance is a powerful tool in overcoming mental rigidity as well. And this is all part of accepting that change is a natural part of life. And that flexibility in thinking just allows for greater adaptability and resilience. And a gun. My favorite thing to do is just observe. Be mindful. And just make a note of how fascinating this is, that my brain is working this way, that my brain is telling me this story, that this is the only way that it could have worked. That my brain is telling me that this is a disaster, that this is all changing. That I can't have what I want now, because it's trying to keep me safe and trying to keep me from having to change all my plans when really. Not necessary. So one way to get ourselves through obstacles is to weigh risks and benefits and count costs. To take ourselves through these processes of self-awareness and acceptance. So why be adaptable? What's in it for us. I love this. I always love this because whenever I'm resisting something, I can look at science and I can look at the fascinating way the brain. Is processing and Thoughts in my head that don't even make any sense. Don't serve me well. That. Require very little of me to shift and not as much evidence. As well, So let's talk about the benefits of embracing adaptability. So we could sulk Throw a tantrum. I think I've even mentioned that I actually designed at one time a ritual for a 10 minute tantrum. So when things. Ha didn't happen or I didn't get the outcome that I want. I could give myself some space to throw a little tantrum, but not extended into days or to giving up on myself or on my project. I would give myself maybe 10 minutes to process that meant to say everything, all the ridiculous things that that I think about the situation. Things that are wrong. It's that equivalent of that. You know that song Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I'm an eat some worms. It's that. Concept say all the ridiculous things, get them out. Give yourself some time to. Come to terms with, okay. It didn't work out this way. Sulk a little bit. And then when the timer goes off, it's over. That's a whole lot better than giving into depression or low ongoing anxiety. That doesn't serve us. And then ended up being maybe ending up, not getting the outcome we want doing nothing. Or staying in the situation that we were trying to resolve. Not having the relationship that we wanted or the growth that we needed. And giving up on the extraordinary. But then. that is not what it looks like to default to yes. To your extraordinary self. And you know it while you're doing it. So let's just give ourselves some space to embrace the suck. And then take hold of adaptability. as we grow in, that will foster that creative thinking and resourcefulness, and it helps us to approach problems from multiple angles and find innovative solutions. The more we do it, the better we get at it. And this is where all the treasure is. This for this week, for example. I could have just laid around and watched TV and just rode out whatever it was that was going to come my way this week with this virus. I was disappointed that I couldn't get the podcast out that I wanted and that I had some other things that I needed my voice for. And I didn't get to be at my best at some of the things that I had to make happen. But I did have time to read two of the books that have been sitting on my shelf, waiting for a someday. And I I did finish a couple of projects that were sitting there waiting for my attention. That didn't require a lot of energy or a voice. Or interaction with other people. And I had time to send some cards to a couple of friends who are also recovering at home. And in this time, I had to adapt my mindset to being more of almost a retreat mindset. Of I've got this extra time. I, yes, I can't do the things that I wanted to do. And those things will still be there when I recover. So we discover other treasures. In that time when we are able to be a little more flexible. The other benefit is improved emotional wellbeing. When we embrace change and uncertainty that can lead to increased emotional intelligence and a greater sense of overall wellbeing. Accepting change is a natural part of life. And that. Again, the more we do it, the better we get at it. And. People who are more adaptable, do manage stress and build up that emotional resilience. And are able to pivot a whole lot easier with a lot less stress. Now, again, professional and personal growth. Adaptability is a cornerstone of personal development. And just even by talking about self-awareness and acceptance, there's a lot of adaptability in that process as well. And those who can adapt to new technologies and industries and ways of thinking are better positioned for success in our rapidly changing world. So If you're wanting to start a business or influence a process. Sometimes some of those new skills are something that are going to be needed these days to do that. Maybe we can't do it the old way as effectively. So again, we definitely had a lesson on a global level of that the past couple of years, and we also saw some devastating consequences. Of those who Didn't adapt or didn't recognize How important it was to adapt. I kept hearing. I know through the pandemic when we get back to normal and I thought should we aspire to more than just getting back to normal? Was our normal, all that great. My thing was just, this is an opportunity for us to get better. This is an opportunity for us to learn more. We might as well, if, as long as we're in this, but not everybody felt that way. And but how cool would it be? Had everyone bed ready to embrace and cultivate. Some adaptability. So let's talk about tips for cultivating adaptability. Now, first we've already talked about the growth mindset, cultivating a mindset that views the challenges and opportunities as growth. We want to approach. New experiences with curiosity. And learn a willingness to adapt and remember that the journey of daft ability starts with a single step. Sometimes we can't make those pivots as fast as we want to, but even just embracing that mindset is a huge win. So when we face challenges, it can be really easy to feel defeated or overwhelmed and shift our perspective. But we can shift our perspective and embrace the challenges as a chance to learn and develop, unlock our full potential, discover more of what it looks like to default to our extraordinary selves. And we do that all, instead of seeing those real obstacles as roadblocks, we can look at them as stepping stones. And towards that personal and professional growth. And this is what's going to allow us to really keep that curiosity and excitement. And tap into that rather than fear and anxiety. The secondly, we can expand our comfort zone. maybe you've seen that saying that life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Some people like that. Co and some people don't. We can learn a lot about our reaction even to hearing that quote. So the saying suggests that personal growth and discovery and true living occur when we. Venture beyond what is familiar and we take on challenges or experiences that lie outside of that. Comfortable place. It encourages us to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for learning and growth and more, a more fulfilling life. And I know that we are all surrounded by people who resist that with more energy than what it would take to grow. And that's also very fascinating. Regardless. Not everyone aspires to learn and to grow and to experience more. They're happy where they are or so they say. Whether that's true or not, they're happy where they are. And. That needs to be okay with us too. Everybody gets to choose their path. What we are responsible for is our own. And how do you feel about getting out of your comfort zone? When we actively seek out experiences that push us beyond our comfort zone, we get better at embracing challenges. That we don't choose. Or we can't anticipate. So whether it's learning a new skill or taking on a new responsibility or Exploring a different culture. Exposing yourself to other values or other perspectives. Stepping into that unknown can foster that adaptability and that it'll be there when we need it. Most. Another crucial skill, a crucial practice for. Adaptability is practicing mindfulness. And I know that this comes up almost every time I give tips. Mindfulness is one of them, Mindfulness is such a valuable tool. It helps us stay present and open-minded in the face of challenges. And again, a consistent mindfulness practice of even 10 minutes a day. You won't see it happening. You won't, you can't put your finger on it. You can't maybe explain Where when, What you did to To bring about this benefit. But it just happens. Regular meditation and mindfulness exercises enhance our awareness. Helps. Reduce stress and improves your ability to adapt and evolving situations, because what happens is A situation occurs. And your brain has been trained to stop and notice. Notice how you feel, notice what the facts are. And to almost play through that model of What are the facts? The indisputable facts. Then what's the thought I have about that? What's the story I'm telling myself, what am I making those facts mean? Is what I'm thinking about it. True. If it's not, then I can change that. What are the emotions that are coming up because of the thoughts, what is the behavior that feelings produced. Is it going to give me the outcome? All of that will start to happen automatically. After we've practiced mindfulness on a consistent basis because we're training our brains to. To stop. To notice and not to judge. And not judging is a huge filter. When you stop judging everything. Other people's intentions, what this meant, how you feel, what it means that you feel this way. When all of that is that you're able to set it down and notice the things that are actually happening. It's so freeing. Okay. So there's my little bit on mindfulness. Once again. So adaptability is a skill that definitely serves us as we default to. Yes. We do that by first of all, acknowledging the obstacles and. Self-awareness and acceptance of the way we're processing. Change And the choice in the first place to adapt. And then we can cultivate adaptability by embracing growth mindset. By expanding beyond our comfort zone. And of course, practicing mindfulness. The art of adaptability is a skill worth honing. And if you haven't found yourself in that need of it. Recently. Or before, it's just a matter of time because change and the call for adaptability is inevitable. if adaptability is one of your top strengths, help your friends to see the benefits of staying open and flexible. When obstacles show up. Never apologize for your spontaneity and help others to realize that how many experiences might be missed if you don't seize the moment now. But understanding the science behind adaptability, recognizing and overcoming obstacles and implementing The practical tips we talked about today, we can all navigate change with grace and emerge stronger on the other side. As the saying goes, it is not the strongest of the species that survives. Nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change. Have you enjoyed this episode, subscribe and share it with your friends. Scroll down, click the link and get on the list so that we can connect. That way as well. And I can send you even more tips. Until next time, I am honored to be on the journey with you as you embrace the art of adaptability and thrive in the ever changing landscape of life. Through the ups and downs and taking those curves as they come and all along the way, choosing to default to yes, your extraordinary self.