How Self-Talk Shapes Your Success and Ignites Extraordinary Motivation

Studies have shown that our internal dialogue directly impacts our mindset, emotions, and behavior. It's like having a constant conversation with ourselves, shaping our perceptions of the world and ourselves within it.

Constructive self-talk isn't about blindly chanting affirmations or ignoring reality. It's about cultivating a constructive inner dialogue that fuels our motivation and empowers us to reach for the extraordinary.

Here's a framework to get you started:

1. Awareness:  Awareness is the key to making positive changes. Do your thoughts empower you to take action and overcome challenges?
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they're based on facts or if they're simply assumptions or fears. 
3. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your goals into manageable steps and set realistic expectations for yourself. Celebrate your progress. 
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially in the face of setbacks or failures. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend. 
5. Visualize Success: Visualizing success can boost your confidence and motivation, making it more likely that you'll take the necessary steps to turn your dreams into reality.
6. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. 

Get a coach:  https://coachingwithjuli.com/noregrets

"Today, I choose to greet every challenge with courage and determination. I am capable, resilient, and worthy of success. My inner dialogue will be one of positivity and self-belief, fueling me to embrace opportunities and overcome obstacles. With each thought, I affirm my commitment to living an extraordinary life, guided by passion, purpose, and unwavering faith in my abilities. Today, I set the intention to soar beyond limitations, to inspire greatness within myself, and to make every moment count. Let this day be a testament to the extraordinary power of my mindset and the limitless potential that lies within."

Default to YES!  (Your Extraordinary Self)

Is there a gap between where you are and where you want to be? You're not alone. This podcast is here to help you close that gap with simple, effective tools, and expert insight to create that personalized self care plan that fits your life. The life you want starts TODAY.

It's time to reimagine what's possible!

Juli Reynolds, BSN, RN is a Board Certified Nurse Coach and Aromatherapist

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

0:59

The precise moments when doubt begins to prevail in our lives are predictable. They happen when are doubting thoughts turn into real words. The moment we begin asking, what if. And then follow the phrase with negative statements. What if it doesn't work out? What if I can't handle it? What if I'm not good enough. What if they don't like me? What if I lose. What if I can't turn back. What if they take advantage of me? These are the questions of a mind poisoned by doubt, not of our highest self. It is the allowance and repetition of doubtful questions that stall most people from living free and fulfilling lives. There could be no real progress. If we incessantly question our own course and capabilities. You had the greatest damage from doubt. Isn't just what we fail to do. It is who we fail to become. We develop character only through effort, struggle and learning. None of which we ever choose to endure when doubt has our ear. That is a reading from. The motivation manifesto. By Brendon Burchard. it's a classic ad. If you don't have it yet, you should get it. It's one that I have read and already read. It's just full of wisdom. And I wanted to share that with you, because it's Provides a framework for what we're going to talk about today. It's time to default to your extraordinary self. And my name is Julie Reynolds. I'm your host. And I thought we could spend some time kicking off our week. By talking about what kind of conversations that we are having. all day long, we have conversations and some go well and some not so much. Some conversations, revolve around feelings and experiences, decisions that we need to make. Summer about the things that seem trivial, like what we wear, what we eat. How we are going to move around through the day. Who we are going to give our time to, and you may have guessed already that I am not addressing the conversations we have with other people. I'm addressing the conversations that we have with ourselves. What is it that we say to ourselves when we're, what are we thinking and saying, when we look into the mirror, I would challenge you to think for a moment about all the things that you have said to yourself today. And where that doubt may have crept in. To those conversations and how much doubt is the influencing factor and the voice that you're hearing when you get up in the morning, when you get dressed, as you decide what to do. And will you work out, will you go for a walk? How you move around? Will you scroll on social media? And when you do what's that conversation do you have any judgment calls that we make? When we scroll on social media, we are constantly making decisions on. What we are going to give our time to what we believe, what we don't believe, what we agree with, Who we like, who we don't like what we like, what we don't like, what we want to be part of what we align with, what we don't align with. We're always making these exhausting judgements. And how does that play into the conversation that you're having with yourself? Look at what all of their kids are doing. How well behaved is that dog. What a beautiful home. I could never be as organized or as positive or as beautiful. All of those things. That enter into our minds, really pay attention to the thoughts and the things that you're saying to yourself. As you scroll on social media. When you find yourself there, it's easy to get caught up in comparing your life to what you see online in the highlight reels of other people's lives. The conversations in your mind might sound like all of those things. I'm never going to be able to whatever that is or why doesn't that happen for me or my life doesn't look like that. Sometimes we follow people that are doing things that you love and living the life that you dream about for yourself and wonder why it's not happening for you. So let's dive into this world of self-talk and how it can push us to achieve extraordinary things. If we architect those conversations and we put this doubt to rest. Science has a lot to say about the power of our internal dialogue. And it turns out that the way we talk about ourselves, It makes a huge difference in our motivation and our success. We can actually talk ourselves out of experiencing the things that we are on track to experience. If we just let them happen, This is where we can sabotage our own. Dreams and our own desires. So first let's break it down. Scientifically studies have shown us that our internal dialogue directly impacts our mindset. Emotions and behavior. It's like having that constant conversation with ourselves. Begins to shape the perceptions of the world and how we view it. How we show up in the world. And as we default to our extraordinary cells, we are always mindful of our thoughts. Our emotions, our behaviors. So if you're not getting the outcome that you want, go back to the framework that we can always turn back to. And that's remembering that our thoughts create our emotions and our emotions create our behaviors give us the outcome that we. I either want or don't want, so running that framework through to look at if I'm feeling a certain way, or if I'm behaving a certain way, really go back and ask what the thought is. What is the conversation that you're having with yourself? In that moment. That's making you feel a certain way. That's driving some of that action. That's giving you that. The outcomes that you are getting. And those outcomes you have to look at as facts. not judging them. This is a bad outcome or a good outcome, or I can't believe that I'm still doing the thing that I constantly am saying that I'm not going to do or not doing the thing that I constantly say that I'm going to do. Those things are things that we are going to be working on for all of our lives in a way to align and stay in tech in integrity with. Ourselves. So we have to look at the outcome in light of facts. So what is true about what the outcome that you're getting? in the realm of maybe business or your business venture it's numbers, What are those numbers telling you? Because numbers don't lie. I had a recent conversation. about do we measure our weight loss? And how we're doing and our progress by stepping on the scale or not. The scale is a scary place to be for a lot of people. But in the end, it's just a fact, it's a number on the scale that tells you if the things that you're doing are giving you the outcome that you want. If the outcome is that you want to be at your ideal weight. That's a measure. It's just a number. It doesn't come with any judgment, except for that, from that voice inside your head. So what are you telling yourself about the measureables of what are you telling yourself about the facts? That's not what we're looking at here. So eliminate all those things that you tell yourself, because you know that you tell yourself that we can't always believe what we think. So look at the facts. What are the indisputable facts? About the outcomes that you're getting or about the circumstance. And then you can get to go back and look at what is the thought in my head, that's producing the emotion that's producing the behavior. That's giving me that outcome. And then you can address the areas that needs to change. Maybe the thought needs to change. And maybe you needed to start telling yourself something true, something that is not infused by doubt. So the secret sauce of leveraging this internal dialogue for extraordinary motivation. What is it? It's all about really adopting that growth mindset and mastering that art a positive self-talk. And let's unpack that. In light of the model that I just explained. We're going to use that to really look at our growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that our abilities and intelligence. Can be developed through dedication. And hard work. The mindset thrives on challenges, sees failures as opportunities to learn and embrace this effort as the path to mastery. When we approached life with a growth mindset, our internal dialogue shifts from self-doubt and fear to resilience and determination. And. If we talk about positive, self-talk this isn't about blindly chanting affirmations or ignoring reality, this is about putting this doubt to rest is really about cultivating a constructive, inner dialog that fuels our motivation and empowers us to reach for extraordinary. When I mentor or coach and especially with with women and nurses that are living with an internal dialogue about value or about ability about capability, about courage. They'll all of those things are going to impact what we actually put out into the world. There are so many things that are extraordinary about you, that you aren't acknowledging. so it's time for you to unearth those things and start to celebrate them. So here's a framework for getting started on really shaping that inner dialogue. And. Full disclosure. This is something that I work on. Every single day. In fact, I don't share things here unless they're things that I'm learning or have learned. usually At the time that I'm sharing these things, it's because I'm sometimes just a couple of weeks or a couple of months into a tested framework and a success strategy. For how I'm addressing this and it's starting to work for me, or it has worked for me and I'm sharing it here, but it's definitely something that is in progress. So from time to time, I might even share an addition to the framework there's or a modification, because that is part of the process that is always part of our process. We assess, we detect a problem and then we plan and we look and see. Success leaves clues. So we look and see what other people are doing. I always look at what science says or what the experts in the field are saying about what is working for other people or how our brain works and how we can train our brain to cooperate with us in the way that we want to show up. In the world, this is all the places that I go. And then design a success strategy. Try it out for a little bit, tweak it, assess it. Evaluate it and all of that can be done by journaling and keeping track. So journaling is a great way to Really get all of those things out to be able to see what's you're actually doing and what those outcomes are. But always looking at measurables and then evaluating. And I know that sounds really that's really actually the nursing process. And I've really latched on to that nursing process because it was for years and years, it was just the way I thought and I learned it in school. They drilled it into us. Then you get into the real world experience and you start. Really filtering everything through that framework and through for life decisions, as well as our care. In healthcare. So here's the framework that I'm using On really cultivating that constructive inner dialog. First of all is awareness. The first step is always becoming aware of that internal dialogue pay attention to the thoughts that are running through your mind. Or they uplifting and empowering. Are they filled with doubt and negativity? You know the difference the difference just by the way you feel. Awareness is the key to making positive changes. And that is a lot of times the most painful part. If you are feeling exhausted or you're feeling down. If your joints are hurting, if you are waking up every day with a headache, if you are plagued with fatigue. If you're unable to sleep at night, if your stomach is upset, all of those things are cues that something is. Something is. Is not aligned. And so then we can take a look first at our thoughts. What are those thoughts that are running through your mind and what would it look like to. Have thoughts and have that dialogue that is a little more uplifting and empowering. So awareness, it all starts with awareness. And then the second challenge, those negative thoughts run that model. What is it that you are thinking when you catch yourself thinking negatively challenge, those thoughts, ask yourself if they're based on facts or if they're simply assumptions or fears, maybe there's something that someone said to you that you'd have a really even question. If it was true. When to replace some of those negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. And I'm not saying tell yourself things that aren't true. If your brain doesn't believe it, you're, it's not going to work for you anyway. I can't get up in the morning and look in the mirror and tell myself I'm an Olympic athlete or that I'm a millionaire. But I could say that I am working to get my body in top physical shape. I can say that I am capable of earning a million dollars. I am capable of moving my body and getting it In the optimized physical shape. So I can tell myself the truth. That I'm capable of getting the things that I want. And even if I don't have the things I want, if the things that I want to move into existence, Are not current reality, that feels a whole lot better than I'm capable of working on it. That I'm capable of learning and developing and getting the skills that I want. I'm capable of having those things. That feels a whole lot better than. I'm never going to be. A millionaire. I am never going to be, I'm always going to be overweight. Working out is so hard. I'm never going to keep it up. I'm never going to do the things that I want. I'm not like so-and-so who can get up and go to the gym every day. Or giving myself all the excuses or how I feel, or my joints hurt. So you get the idea, right? Like all of that talk is just draining and negative and it does not serve us. So why not embrace the possibilities? Why not spend more time thinking about what it looks like to be our extraordinary self. What does it look like to make that default mode? Our extraordinary self. That's going to feel a whole lot better. So challenge, And. replace negative thoughts with more positive ones and realistic ones. There are a lot of times that you are telling yourself something and you're mostly going on what you think about something that happened not what's true about it. So what is really true? What can you know? That is true. Not what you think is true. we've talked a lot here about the things that you need to do to move forward that, but the first forward with some of those things, but. To gain the skills and the support that you really need to get your goals, but the first it starts with awareness and challenging your thoughts, making sure you're telling yourself the truth. we don't want to be judgy. We just want to notice. And change, make it something that you can feel good about. One of the things that comes up in self-talk is self-talk about others. And how others, just, somebody did something wrong. Someone is not doing what they said they would do is not following up. Maybe they are. They're doing something that you disapprove of. And you can assign all sorts of intentions to that. So in your self-talk you can say you start to view the world in a way of assigning in. Ill intentions. And one of the things that Bernay brown talks about is that assuming that everyone is doing their best. And one of the quotes that she said is I can't ever know. When someone is doing their best or if that's the best they can do. Assuming that they are doing their best makes my life better. And I really had to spend some time thinking about that because that affects my self-talk. because a lot of times, honestly, on the way to our goals, The others can be, could show up as a barrier. Maybe it's a family member. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's a workplace environment, whatever it is there we are working with other humans. And so to give them the benefit of the doubt that they are doing their best makes our life better and helps us get to solutions faster. All right. So awareness. Challenging those thoughts and then setting realistic goals, break the goals down into manageable steps and set realistic expectations for yourself, and then celebrate the progress along the way. No matter how small. This reinforces that sense of accomplishment and keeps you motivated. To continue pushing forward. Awareness challenging, those thoughts, setting realistic goals and practice. Self-compassion be kind to yourself, especially facing setbacks or failures. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend. This is one of the biggest things that I've learned just in an accountability relationship with a couple of good friends. Is that the way that I would. The way I see some of the things that they're struggling with, and sometimes they're struggling with the same things I'm struggling with. I don't listen to their struggles or their barriers and think that they are. Worthless or incompetent or never going to be able to do what they want to do or delusional. Those are the things that sometimes I think about myself, I would never think about them. And so what if I treated myself the same way? I treat my friends with compassion. This is just a setback. This is just a struggle. There is a solution and there is a bright side. I have a lot to work with. And that's usually what I see in them is that, oh my gosh. If they could just see what I see. They would see how much they did accomplish this week, how much they do meet in the world. All of their giftedness that they bring to overcome this barrier and get past this. And sometimes Those same problems that we see arise in others. Look smaller. Than they do when they happen to us. And so. These things are not insurmountable. And they don't look that way when our friends share them. So what if we treated ourselves the same way with some compassion and understanding? And really believing in ourselves. practicing compassion. Means. Treating yourself as a very good friend. Remember that? Nobody's perfect. And it's okay to stumble along the way. And what matters is how you respond and keep moving forward. So when you do miss step, when you do make a mistake, when you do have a day that is less productive. Then you wanted it to be. When you do feel like you. There's just no way that you're going to be able to do the certain thing that you want to do. Just take a step back, take an inventory, get clear. Give yourself some grace and then take action and step forward. All right. so visualizing success, use that power of visualization to imagine yourself achieving the goals, picture yourself, overcoming those obstacles and reaching new Heights of success. Visualizing SIS. Success can boost that confidence and the motivation and makes it more likely that you'll take the necessary steps to turn your dreams into a reality, and then surround yourself with positivity. Get those people around you that will uplift and inspire you. Positive social support is crucial for motivation and helping you stay focused on your goals. We probably often underestimate the influence of social support or the impact of social support. For our motivation and our ability to set our goals. It's crucial. So seek out mentors, friends, online communities, and share your passions and encourage that growth. That is key. And if you don't have it naturally, Go make some friends. Great places. At church. You'll find people that want to change the world they're want to serve. Volunteer organizations. I was able just to reach out to a couple people that I know to be dedicated to their personal growth and put an accountability group together. And that has been very meaningful to me and created a book clubs so that we, I could. Create a community of people who are reading the books that I'm reading. So we could talk about it would hopefully ask me the questions that I need to be asked And of course Scheduling your coaching session. I have no doubt that you can figure all of this out on your own. I can do, but I also know by having a coach, that it goes a whole lot faster. When you have somebody asking you the right questions and getting curious. About where the obstacles are and where they come from. And are they true? And what the possible solutions are. We can create a success strategy and move a whole lot faster, getting past those things that are standing in your way. And I know that to be true for me. I have yet to see it be anything but transformational for anyone who leans into that process. So, so if you're curious, I talk about it a lot. I mentioned it a lot. Every email and every podcast episode that you see for me, Is going to have an invitation for a no regrets discovery session. Sign up today. We can connect that way too. And you can see. Just see what it is all about and how transformational those conversations can be. All right. So if you don't have it already get a community, get a coach, do something to give yourself the support that you need to show up in the world consistently in the way that you really want to and make those things that you want to make happen. Make them happen and make them sustainable. So I'm just going to take a second to also tell you that I am opening. I have. I've created a mastermind. I'm taking coaching and coursework, all the things that, have been part of my coaching practice and I'm putting them together. My clients over and over appreciate the the opportunities that they have had to interact with each other. To offer that what they're learning to other people to give back and be part of that community. And. I will say that lifelong friends are formed to that community. And I'm so thrilled to see all the things that come out of that, So I put all those things together. What I'm calling a mastermind. Or a coaching group and the link is in the show notes. If you want to schedule a conversation with me and I can tell you more about that, there's also a link that you can just go to the sites and look and see what I'm talking about. As far as what that mastermind is. Do both. Check it out. See if that's something you're interested in and then schedule a conversation with me and let's see if it's a good fit. Maybe that's exactly what you need. To be able to consistently show up in the world and the way that you want to. Time goes way too fast, too. To stall out to the stops and the starts and the one step forward, two steps back on our goals. Whether it's physical fitness, spiritual fitness. Mental Social Emotional fitness, whatever it is, that is your goal. The thing that is going to really allow you to show in the world that the way you want to experience life, the way that you want to and become who you really want to be. That's all that this is removing all of that doubt and junk that gets in our way so that we can take steps forward To live fully and love authentically. And imagine the possibilities and inspire others along the way. I'd love to connect with you. So schedule your no regrets coaching session, and we can talk about what it is for you. That's going to get you, keep you keeping moving forward. And if nothing else, I get to hear what you're working on and celebrate that with you. So there's no obligation in that conversation. And I would love to, I'd love to chat with you. And until next time, remember that you have the power to shape your own reality through the conversations that you have with yourself. By adopting that growth mindset and mastering the art of positive self-talk. You can tap into that extraordinary motivation and unleash your full potential. You do this by through awareness, challenging those thoughts, setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion. Visualize success and get the social support that you need to be able to get there In a sustainable way. Be sure to share this episode with your friends so that you can all get on the same page as you create that community around you, of those who'd want to default to yes. And then go ahead and start that inner dialogue and watch yourself soar as you get up every day and default to your extraordinary self.