Do Intentions and Affirmation Really Work: What's the Secret?

"Each decision we make, each action we take, is born out of an intention."
~ Sharon Salzberg"

Setting intentions is a practice rooted in psychology and mindfulness. Research suggests that setting clear intentions can help us clarify  goals, increase motivation, and enhance performance. By setting an intention, you are essentially training your brain to cooperate with you in the way you want to show up in the world.

In this episode, I share my process of setting intentions, in response to one of the questions I received last week about how to set the right intention - to be personal,  effective, powerful and true.

Want to uplevel your practice of living with intention?  Check out the webinar replay here:  Aromacognition for a Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit. This webinar was originally made available for Essential Oil Nurses, check out the replay and download the workbook.  CLICK HERE

Transcript

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Welcome to another week of. Getting up every day and making extraordinary your default defaulting to yes. Your extraordinary self. I'm your host, Julie Reynolds. Nurse coach. And I am excited to be on this journey with you. I got asked the question this week. About how I set intentions and that there are so many possibilities. And how, where do I get started was with a question that I was asked and. Really good question. And I talk about intentions all of the time, and probably if you're listening, you are very familiar with intentions. Maybe you've set intentions, but I find a lot of times when I'm talking to people, they are borrowing intentions from someone. Maybe it's a. Some influencer or a podcast or a book or a quote that they saw on social media and not really integrating them. And so this person was asking me, how do I set intentions that are personal for me? That I know will be effective. And setting intentions is a practice that's rooted in psychology and mindfulness. Research suggests that setting clear intentions can help us clarify goals, increase motivation and enhance performance. And by setting an intention, you're essentially training your brain to cooperate with you in the way that you want to show up in the world. And we talk about all of that. All of the time here. Most of the strategies that I share, frameworks that I share are all designed around that. Just really figuring out how we want to show up in the world at first of all, and then executing on that. So that we don't have regrets and we don't drift to someplace. We didn't mean to be. Maybe it's more grateful. Maybe you want to have more energy, more compassion or more authentic. Maybe it's just wanting to show up as you truly are. Letting go of the expectations that are imagined or real. Whatever that is. Maybe you're sensing that cognitive dissonance that goes on underneath the surface. When you feel an act on a set of beliefs that. Our more programmed or subconscious. In that they're not consistent with what you know to be true. So here's one of mine that I've been working on. First of all, we are told that men and women are equal We are told that everyone has a voice. they're relationships that obviously are based on authority positions and all of that. But what I'm talking about is that just really that belief that, and being told or believing that my voice is valuable. I am smart and capable. And I believe that I have something to contribute, but when I get in a certain situations, I have a tendency to fall back on some kind of, I dunno, when I was taught this, that, but That if I really want them. Whether it be some, a person in authority or a lot of times the way women think about men or even their husbands. If I want them to go along with my idea, I have to make them think it is their idea. I used to deal with this all the time as I'm in the church. World is that I knew that if some of the men on staff, I knew that was going to have to be their idea. In order for us to really move forward on it. And I saw that as being humble. And being very. I think I was seeing it as being virtuous because it doesn't matter who gets the credit. It's all for the sake of the mission. Right. if you want them to go along with your idea, you have to make them make it their own or make it their idea. And that undermines our value and our voice. So when I start behaving in a way to hint or suggest or guide, I have to catch myself and realize that I'm not really serving anyone. They didn't, they don't want to be. Manipulated into. Thinking us a certain way either. So I realized that that wasn't serving anyone wasn't serving the mission. It wasn't serving the person and it definitely wasn't being true to myself. So I realized that. I don't know where I picked that up, but I realized that what I needed was to speak with authority and believe in myself and not second guess and be okay with being wrong and making mistakes. Because at the heart of that, I learned that about myself as I didn't want, there was a little bit of protection in that belief or in that mindset. So I set the intention. I will show up confident and curious. This allowed me to speak. To speak confidently and to be curious at the same time and to share my thoughts and give my input and remain curious and be okay with being wrong or missing something and contribute contribute without being betraying myself. If we want to see it at the table, sometimes we have to take that seat at the table and then speak up. Be okay with being wrong or not knowing something, learning something along the way, and then celebrating that you contributed, maybe brought up the topic and maybe moved it forward that way. Maybe you contributed to a better outcome by. By sharing a different perspective. We don't know what's going to happen when we truly show up in the world in the way that we want to. Again, it's what I had to realize that first of all, that I wasn't serving anyone. It wasn't serving them. I wasn't serving the mission and I certainly wasn't serving myself. None of that thought was good for anybody. So that was, and that was a process to get there. So focusing on specific outcomes or behavior, which can lead to a greater sense of purpose and direction in your actions is where it begins. And so those of you who practice intention setting know that this can also cultivate a healthy mindset. And really enhance that mental and emotional health. It allows us to be able to set our goals and take time for hobbies, seek professional support. Be able to ask for help when we need it. All of those things come together holistically. So when I say we can optimize our overall wellbeing by practicing some of these smaller things that we talk about here. I'm talking about in a holistic approach that really addresses the body mind and spirit and helps us foster that more, that fulfilling life that we are made for. So going back to the question asked was how do you set that intention? How do I get there to an intention that I know is true? And this person that was asking in the conversation, when I asked, why did you ask that? Or, you know, tell me a little bit more about your question. It was being concerned that she would set an intention that also wasn't true. So how do you get there and, or was it effective and. Maybe putting a little too much pressure on the exact wording of your intention. So here's kind of a quick step-by-step through I guess my process, first of all, finding a quiet space, finding a comfortable, quiet space where you won't be disturbed, so you don't have other input and just. Kind of settle into a chair, put your feet on the ground. Just get comfortable. Straight you. You get comfortable. You don't want to lay down so that you fall asleep during this process, but. Back straight. relaxed, just a comfortable sitting position. And then begin by deep breathing. Close your eyes and then take a few deep breaths, inhale deeply through your nose and allowing your lungs to feel completely. Hold your breath for a moment. And then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat that a couple of times until you feel your body begin to relax. This is unnecessarily about just implementing a breathing technique. It's about really being able to slow things down and feel begin to feel your body and mind. It's to relax and be able to notice the things you are thinking and the feel, it feels that you're feeling. So you're finding a quiet place. Take a couple of deep breaths in and out. Until you feel your body and mind relax. And then just bring awareness to that present moment. So shift your focus to the present. Notice the sensations in your body, feeling your body, your breathing, moving in and out and allowing your thoughts to really settle and bring awareness to. Here and now. So that's all the process of just getting present and they want to take a moment just to reflect on what's important to you. What are your core values? What do you want to focus on your life? Consider those, consider those things. Relationships, personal growth. Is it a way that you want to show up in your workplace? Is it. Is your, is it your health or spirituality? Whatever you're feeling like you need to. Place a higher value on or an to be more intentional about two. Elevate that value. So, what are your core values? So you're in a quiet place. You slowed everything down. You become present. And then you take a moment to, to focus on those core values. And then based on your reflections, you can identify the specific intention, maybe it's for the day and maybe it's for the week. And intention is a guiding principle, basically for how you want to live, show up. How you want to behave? It should be, it definitely should be positive or it should serve you well, And it should be present focused. and then stated as if you're, if it's already happening. So for example, I am patient and kind in my interactions, or I approach my work with focus and enthusiasm. Those would be two C, two examples. Of intentions that you could set for the day. And then I like to take myself just to, through a moment, even depending on how long I've left for this. Sometimes I do this in my car before I go into work. So I don't have a whole lot of time there, but visualizing that intention with your intention in mind, take a few moments just to visualize yourself, living out that intention, see yourself acting and speaking and thinking in ways that align with that intention. And then notice how that feels in your body. To just really embody that intention. What does it look like when you show up the way that you intend to show up? So then repeat that intention to yourself a couple of times, and then allow the words just to really resonate with you. And then if they don't, you could tweak them. So if it feels forced or if it feels not quite true, Tweak it a little bit until it does. So Does it feel true? Does it resonate? Does it feel forced? So some of all of those things are things that that you will know right away. When you're present with your body. I've been sharing a technique in a practice of aroma cognition to really anchor us into some of these intentions and some of these practices. I'll put a link below. I just did a webinar. If you want to listen to the webinar and learn a little bit about aroma cognition and the opportunities there, the link in the show notes so that you can go there and check that out. But if you're just getting started. So just repeat these. Repeat your intention to yourself. See if it resonates. And then just take a couple of deep breaths. Because, and as you inhale, imagine breathing in that positive energy or that intention and clarity. And then exhale, any intention or doubt you have about that intention? So just my, just on purpose, visualizing yourself, breathing that intention in. And then exhaling any tension or doubt. About that intention. And then when you feel ready, then you can just kind of come back to the. Your environment and then and get ready to step into forward into your day. So then throughout the day, remind yourself of that intention, write it down, place it somewhere where you can see it. I like to put my notifications in my phone so that every once in a while, during the day that note, that notification, or that will pop up on my phone. Too, you can do that in your alarms setting. And just. Just name the alarm, your intention, and then it will pop up for you to see throughout the day. So you could also, if you work at a desk or if you were at home, you put it on the mirror wherever you're going to see it and check in with yourself. Throughout the day to see how you're aligning with that intention. be kind to yourself too, because sometimes we get out of alignment with our intention throughout the day. Just pull yourself right back into it. And that will also teach you about your intention. If your intention wasn't true to you or didn't feel good or didn't serve you. If you, if your intention is off, then you will know that throughout the day, when you begin to practice it. Then you can make some adjustments. So when I shared with that, I'm confident and curious. That was one of them. I I, my first intention was I speak confidently and I am competent and I speak, with confidence. Well that didn't leave room for me to be wrong. So I was still finding second guessing and that's how I get, I keep tweaking it to be, I speak with confidence and curiosity. And that left the door open for me to make mistakes and be wrong and be okay with that. But I was still going to share. My give my input with confidence. And then that is not on me. How people respond that it's all a learning process. And I can adjust that, but then I still don't be tearing myself by staying silent or or taking on some of that, like making suggestions or all of that. So you'll learn throughout the day, if your intention, or as you go with through it, as you go with your intention, you may have to make adjustments. You may learn things about how you can make that intention more effective for yourself, but that's all part of the process. Be kind to yourself. Don't decide that setting the intention doesn't work. If the actual intention that you set was a little bit off pace, that's fine. So the idea is showing up intentionally and so that we can get the outcomes that we want. So at the end of the day, take a moment to reflect on how you live. That intention. Notice that. The moments when you aligned with it and challenged your, and the challenges that you faced. Use that to reflection, to be able to refine your intentions moving forward. Here's an example of how that might, what that might look like when you're setting your intention, find a quiet place. Maybe you're sitting comfortably in a quiet room or in your car. Begin that deep breathing take deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Do that three or four times. And then bring awareness to a present to the present moment. Focus on the sensations in your body and the rhythm of your breath. Reflect on your values and priorities. Think about the importance of compassion in your life. And then identify your intention. Set the intention. I am compassionate and understanding in my interactions. And then visualize your intention. Imagine yourself, interacting with others, with compassion and understanding. Who is it that you need to show that compassion to? Who is that person or people group that you need to. Show up with a little bit more understanding. And then repeat your intention just silently repeat it. I'm compassionate and understanding. I am compassionate. And understanding. Then seal your practice by breathing deeply and absorbing that. The energy of that intention. And then carry your intention with you. Write the intention on a sticky note. Place it on your computer or on your mirror or on your refrigerator? You can or set the alarm in your phone. I am compassionate and understanding. So then today at two o'clock. You're silent alarm, probably it goes off and it did. And on your phone, it just says, I am compassionate and understanding, and you can pull yourself back into that, that thought or that intention. And then at the end of the day, right before bed. Just. Take some time to reflect on how that showed up for you. Did you show up compassionate and understanding where did it go wrong for you? All of those things. So, so how, where were you? Aligned with that intention. And where were you out of alignment with it? Just notice don't judge and don't toss the intention because you didn't do it on the first, do it perfectly or execute perfectly on the first day of setting that intention. Spend some time with it. Get to know it. And then I like to the barriers when you realize that you're, that. Intention is a little out of alignment. You can ask yourself why? Because a lot of times we will learn some of the. Cognitive dissonance that, that we are living in by things that maybe have been programmed in. And the way we want to show up are a little bit out of alignment. So take a look at that. So when you're at the end of the day, and you're reflecting on your intention, Ask why. And then ask why again and again, and again, until you get at the thought that is competing with the intention, because You're intentionally deciding how you want to show up. Why are you, why is it challenging for you? There's something there. So, this is what coaching is all about you guys. So. If this is still, if this is making you curious about what is possible. Let's schedule a coaching session with me and we will talk through how you set an intention. And I'd love to walk you through this process. Sometimes just doing it with someone as very helpful and is transformational actually, because you hear yourself. get in touch with some of the things that you're thinking that you didn't even know you were thinking. And if you're not ready for coaching, then share this episode with a friend I'm go through, go with a friend through this process. Ask each other, how it's going hold each other accountable. And just go exploring with a good friend, someone. Like-minded friends that you trust and. Do this together. All of this is all about cultivating that greater sense of purpose and clarity and alignment with your values. Enhancing your overall wellbeing and effectiveness and daily life. And it really applies. To everything. I Guide your mind, train your brain to cooperate with yourself in the way that you really want to show up as you get up every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.