One Step Forward, Two Steps Back...How Do We Embrace Change and Make It Stick?

Originally recorded Aug 2023.

When was the last time that you took the time to explore the profound connection between embracing change and "homeostasis" on the path to mastery and personal growth? Homeostasis, our natural inclination for stability, can often hinder our ability to embrace change and achieve our fullest potential.

Learn the "EMBRACE" framework, a set of practical strategies to navigate the challenges of homeostasis and foster positive transformations - in our individual lives, our communities, and our work environments. 

We discuss the importance of establishing clear goals and breaking down change into manageable steps to build momentum. Embracing discomfort and fostering a growth mindset are crucial elements to overcoming resistance and navigating the unknown with courage.

Discover the power of supportive networks and mindful awareness to respond to change consciously. Embracing celebrations along the journey reinforces motivation and confidence in pursuing mastery.

Join us on this enlightening episode to unlock your potential, embrace change, and step into the realm of personal growth and mastery. Embrace the journey toward becoming the best version of yourself!

Book recommendation - the work that inspired this episode:
Mastery, by George Leonard at  https://amzn.to/3qea5zI

Default to YES!  (Your Extraordinary Self)

Is there a gap between where you are and where you want to be? You're not alone. This podcast is here to help you close that gap with simple, effective tools, and expert insight to create that personalized self care plan that fits your life. The life you want starts TODAY.

It's time to reimagine what's possible!

Juli Reynolds, BSN, RN is a Board Certified Nurse Coach and Aromatherapist

Transcript

0:59

Welcome back. We are going to explore today, the ever fascinating world of personal development. And I'm your host, Julie Reynolds. And today I have a very thought provoking topic for you Have you ever set a goal to make change for the better in your life? This is the change that you really want. It's time you are ready to do the work. You tell your friends and family. You make a plan, you make it happen. let's use weight loss. As an example, let's say that you lost the weight that you were carrying around for way too long. You changed the way you were eating, you feel great. Your life is actually better. And then it falls apart. You decide to treat yourself just once and then one more time. And now you are in a full out backslide. Your weight is back and you feel discouraged, sad, embarrassed. What is wrong with you? Why would you do that? How could you let that happen? Are you just lazy? No willpower. think we've all been there, but oh man, Every time that it's happened to me. I never saw it coming. That feeling of letting something go or wondering. That was a really good thing. I felt great. How did this happen? Why. I couldn't die. Just keep doing that. Today, we're going to give it a name and we're going to call it what it is. Today, we're going to delve into the concept of homeostasis and its impact on mastery. From our individual struggles to change with social groups, families, and workplaces. So get ready for an eye-opening journey into the realm of human behavior. I find this fascinating as with the rest of the functioning of the brain. so to kick things off, all of this actually came from my experience this week with a book that I'm reading called mastery by George Leonard. My coach sent it to me, to read as I was committing to the mastery of a new skill. This was supposed to help me to manage my mindset as we worked on the skill. This was a smart move actually, because reading this book has truly saved me from a lot of the pitfalls falls that my coach actually warned me about. When someone warns you about something that you see all of the time, but you think I've done this before? I know that won't be me. I've got this. We were really optimistic about a new thing that we actually want. We can't imagine sabotaging our own efforts with some of these things that other people might tell us. We will experience they don't really know me. I'm prepared for this. I've done this before. Only to fall right in. the pothole that we were told about when a new challenge arises. So many of us learn the hard way and that takes time and costs more than having, let's say a coach or mentor to journey with us. I think everybody needs a coach. okay. back to topic, the book is a good one and we are going to talk about The one thing that I read that led this week to more reflection and study. And Some doing things a little different in my, in the way I approach. Accountability. Homeostasis. I guess I should start too, by getting clear about what homeostasis is in simple terms, homeostasis refers to the body and minds ability to maintain a stable and balanced internal environment. It's like a thermostat that ensures our physiological and psychological systems are functioning. Optimally. And how does this concept tie in with mastery and personal growth? You probably have heard the saying change begins outside your comfort zone. And it's totally true. Our natural tendency is to maintain a state of equilibrium and to resist change because change often disrupts our homeostatic balance. Stepping into the unknown can trigger a stress response. And our brains perceive this as a threat. And this is why so many people struggle with breaking old habits and adopting new ones. But it's not just individuals who face challenges with change is social groups such as families, friendships, communities. Can also be influenced by homeostasis. So we're going to explore a little bit about how shared beliefs and norms and routines within these groups can create resistance to change. Making it difficult for individuals within the group to break free and pursue mastery. Families often function as a unit and that, and changes made by one member can cause a ripple effect throughout the whole system. So how can we overcome homeostasis within a family dynamic? To encourage personal growth and mastery. a lot of us are tempted to just say, this is just the way my family operates. We call it dysfunction or. Maybe give it some endearing term and we just live in that. We're going to look at strategies for fostering, an environment that supports and embraces change while maintaining strong family bonds. We can also put some focus here on our workplace. Organizations also can become entrenched in routines and resistant To change. We're going to explore the importance of leadership and organizational culture in fostering an environment that encourages innovation and continuous improvement. Now, ultimately personal growth and mastery come down to the choices we make as individuals. And we're going to dive into the psychology behind overcoming and resistance to change developing new habits and embracing discomfort on our journey towards personal and professional development. Now I know that is a lot and we're going to just scratch the surface on all of this, but when I read about homeostasis and when I began to reflect on it, I could see its work in all of these areas. So I wanted to highlight. Not just the personal growth areas, not just for us individuals. I hope that after listening to this, that you will notice what you will notice, where in your life this is coming up. So you might not this week, go out and change all of this and find the solutions, but it's all starts with awareness, Because it's not just you who faces challenges with change. Your social groups, whether they be your family, friendships or communities are also influenced by the powerful force of homeostasis. homeostasis in itself. Is a good thing for the most part. if your body temperature increases, even by 10%, we're in big trouble. So it's important to have those mechanisms in place. And the same thing applies to a lot of different mechanisms, blood sugar. blood pressure, the goal is that equilibrium. And that is. A resistance to change, and that is homeostasis. So while that works for us in a lot of ourself here at regulating systems in the body. We're applies to psychological states and behavior problem is that homeostasis works to keep things as they are, even if they aren't very good. this is why it deserves some attention. so we're going to explore how shared beliefs, norms, and routines within these groups can create resistance to change. They're not always even intentional beliefs. Sometimes they're not beliefs that we even. Have ever created an awareness around. This all makes it difficult for you. this makes it difficult for any individual within the group to break free and pursue mastery. Now imagine if you're a part of a tight-knit family and that family has always followed certain traditions and routines. These rituals have been passed down from generations, providing that sense of stability and familiarity. then you start to explore new interests and personal goals. You find yourself facing a clash between your desire to change and the family's deeply ingrained traditions. Maybe there are things that just don't work for a family member. I have a friend that has a child with special needs and some of the traditions that came over the holiday is just didn't work for their family because it broke too much with routine and it just made the whole holiday miserable. And so this was a client of mine and we had to problem solve around this, How she could communicate with her family and resolve this in a way that was healthy for everyone, but it did take them a little bit outside of their normal routine. So it made a challenging. Now your family members may unintentionally resist your pursuit of mastery because it challenges the status quo. Let's say you make a change in your diet, and you've always had these certain foods, but do you want to stick to this? Because you need to, for your health. they might not fully understand or relate to your new found passion. Causing them to express concerns and discouragement. The shared beliefs and norms within your family act as a safety net, urging you to remain within the boundaries of the familiar. So that's just something to recognize because it might not be intentional on the part of your family members. It may just simply be their brains. Reacting to the sense of change. that feeling of that something is at risk and they may not even recognize it having an anonymous conversation. About what it is that they're actually reacting to or what they're feeling, what they're thinking. Might actually highlight the, they don't really have a problem with the way with any of these changes. Just something that homeostasis trying to bring things back to the way they always are, feel safe. And so their. Kind of responding to that. Mechanism. That's trying to keep everything the same. It might not be an intentional process on their part. It might be just to be something to get curious about. There might be an unspoken agreement about how everyone should behave or types of activities you engage in together. When you attempt to break free from those norms or step outside your comfort zone. It can bring up some resistance and reluctance from your friends. That desire to maintain harmony within the group and avoid disruption to establish dynamics. or expectations can create a barrier. To your pursuit of mastery. Now communities too, can be influenced by homeostasis and whether it's a professional organization or a cultural group. Shared beliefs again. And routines shaped that collective behavior. If you introduce a new idea or initiate a positive change within the community, you're going to meet with resistance. The groups comfort and the familiar ways of doing things might lead to skepticism and pushback against your innovative approach. it doesn't even really mean that they don't want the outcome that you're proposing. It's just change is difficult. And we know that I think having a word for it and understanding, and then getting to the solution side of just understanding what is going on in the brains of the people that I am talking with right now. They are smart people who want this outcome, probably, maybe even more than I do. So leaders can face a big challenge. And I've seen this in conversations with nurse leaders. Who are trying to promote wellbeing, among their staff. They're doing everything they can to provide the tools to provide the space. To provide the mindset that will help nurses reach those outcomes that they really want, but for some reason there's resistance and they can't figure it out and they're losing sleep over it. They're trying to figure out how to overcome those barriers. Overcoming these changes requires patients. you have to be willing to stick in there for the hard parts. And for the painful parts By openly sharing your passion and explaining how your growth benefits, not just you, but the group as a whole, you can encourage understanding and support from your family and friends and community. By casting a compelling vision to your staff or to your community, to your friend group. That's where the magic happens. You just it's consistency. I always like to say passion, patience, and persistence. Is what it takes to bring change. that's been my motto for years. I say those words over my head, whatever this change is bigger, small, it's going to take passion, patience, and persistence. Remembering that mastering any skill or embracing personal growth is a journey. That evolves. not just your determination, but navigating the dynamics of the social groups around you. By acknowledging the influence of homeostasis and finding ways to address the resistance within these groups, you can pave the way for a more supportive and encouraging environment for everyone's growth and mastery. So let's say you're a dedicated and forward-thinking nurse leader passionate about improving patient care and overall work environment. You notice certain Inefficiencies and outdated practices within your team of nurses. That needs to be addressed. And you firmly believe that introducing this change is critical for the betterment of patient outcomes and for the overall culture of nursing that this change is going to be better for the nurses themselves. It's probably what they're asking for. They just don't know it. So you begin to communicate your ideas and initiatives for change and you encounter the resistance. Remember that they have been accustomed to current routines and protocols, and that proposed change disrupts the comfort of the familiar. We hear it sometimes in the context of abusive languages, even when you're making a positive culture change. Remember that the people that you are dealing with, maybe holding on to just simply what is familiar, they've learned to navigate this culture. Even with the pitfalls, even with the drawbacks. Even with some of the. Abuses that come with it. They might express concerns about added workload or uncertainty about new processes. The resistance is an example of homeostasis at work within the culture. The established norms and routines have provided that sense of stability. And they've learned. They've worked hard, baby. And they've learned over the years, how to navigate In that environment. Your proposed changes, trigger a fear of the unknown, and they might not even understand that. Some nurses might even perceive the change as a threat to their competence or their expertise. Because you throw off one thing and the everything else seems to be threatened as well. So as a nurse leader, it's essential to navigate these challenges, skillfully and effectively. I say this because I know that I have. Resisted change. In an environment that desperately needs change just because I understood the rules before. honestly. I don't sometimes even put it together that what I'm operating with is that. I understood the playbook before. If you change the playbook, then I no longer know how to survive in this sometimes hostile environment. and that's where we are. So sometimes just knowing that allows you to open your mind and get a little more reasonable. I like them, the mental model Where we back up and we ask ourselves what the situation is, what are the facts? Not what we think about the situation, but what are the facts that are indisputable? If you told anyone they would be able to confirm that this is the fact. And then ask what your thought about that is. And then is it true? And do you need to tell yourself a different story? Is there a different way to look at this? have a nurse manager. for the very first time, I think ever. Has the ability to just hit the pause button on any of our stories. And remind us that we can't actually know that's true. She reminds us that the story that we're telling ourselves is just that it's a story and we shouldn't take action or spend a lot of time trying to convince ourselves that is true or stating that is true. I really appreciate having a leader that will just hit the pause button and. And say, Hey, let's come back to this. and set a time to come back to it. And to really back up and look at the facts, what we think about the facts. And explore the solutions. A lot of what keeps us stuck. And keeps us from growing and defaulting to our extraordinary selves is all in this cycle of reacting to the things that we think about the situation. And I'll say it again. We can't always believe what we think. So we really have to take a look at what are the facts. So that we don't react instead of respond to our challenges and therefore sabotage our efforts. To get where we really want to be. I realize I've spent a lot of time thinking about this week and that these, all of these things correlate. To me very easily. I hope you can see how bringing change even individual mastering a skill, achieving a goal. All of those things require change. And that can ripple out into the rest of our lives and those same principles that apply to making individual changes in our lives. Let's say, like going back to the weight loss example. Those same principles are at play. When we try to make a change in our culture, We are affected by feedback that we get from our friend and family groups, from the culture around us. When we make changes. in our culture, our family, our friends group, That mechanism of homeostasis. Which is not always a bad thing. It also keeps us aligned with values of peace and love and harmony. But. This is our brain. Whether we're trying to make an individual change and it's affecting our culture or our friend group or our family dynamics, or if we're trying to change a culture and some of those individual mechanisms are at play in moving forward. That's our brain always going to try to keep us. The same. Even when it's not for our benefit. All right, so can't just leave you here with just noticing the problems, So whether it be in an organization and if you're not a nurse and you're listening to this, These things translate into any workplace. We all have this set of rules that develops in this way, we operate. And when that is challenged, We can put up the resistance. But that is just our brain saying, Hey, this is changing and I know the rules here. I don't know the rules there. I've been here a long time. I know better all of the resistance because your brain. Is really just telling you. This is not safe because your brain doesn't know the difference between good change and bad change. It just knows it's changing. And it needs to protect you from that. everyone deals with change and resistance. And these obstacles that come up. a person like yourself who gets up every day to default to your extraordinary self. Is the person who has essentially learned to deal with homeostasis. I've created a framework to help us remember the different kinds of things to keep in mind. Whenever we go to make a change, to be able to manage homeostasis and. I be able to respond to those alarms signals that go off to say. Danger danger. We're changing. I don't like this. Maybe we should go back. Here's a framework that'll help us deal with homeostasis. Whether you're aiming to improve your skills, strengthen relationships, or create a more dynamic work environment. These action steps will help you break the barrier and step into that realm of mastery. This is our embrace framework. First. Establish clear goals. Set your sights on specific and achievable goals, guiding your path towards that growth and mastery. You want to define specific and achievable goals that you want to pursue? Whether it's improving a skill. Deepening a relationship enhancing your work environment. Clarity of purpose provides motivation and direction. if it's a personal goal, make sure that it's clear what you want to achieve and when you want to achieve it. How you're going to measure it. All of that clarity. We'll help with the motivation and the direction that you're going. When homeostasis tries to pull you back. Okay, move with small steps. Gradual progression. Towards the goal, breaking down those big changes into manageable actions and build momentum over time. Break those larger things that you want to happen, maybe you even present a smaller goal before you roll out the bigger goal you might cast a compelling vision and then just require one manageable step. I saw this happen in the workplace for the first time as well. My manager rolled out a completely different culture change and some values that she has talked about ever since we started working together. And she gave us some definitions. And she gave us all the whole picture. And then she asked us to over the six months, pick one thing to move the needle on. That's going to require passion, patience, and persistence. She didn't ask us to change everything all at once. Like most of the time when cultures, when organizations, when leadership rolls out initiatives, they want, they expect the change to happen and they enforce it immediately. Rolling this out the way she did. I honestly did not see any resistance to it, which is the first time ever that I've seen such a new concept introduced to such a set culture without resistance. So it is possible So taking gradual strides towards change reduces that resistance triggered by those. Shifts that seem more significant. And this will allow us to build momentum towards sustainable change. And this also helps us to shift our focus from solely aiming towards the end result and appreciating the journey and the process of growth. mastery is not just about achieving a goal. It's about enjoying the continuous improvement and learning along the way. Mastery and sustainable change is a set of. incremental change plateau. And we have to be okay with that plateau and celebrating the smaller steps along the way. Brave discomfort. So acknowledging that change can be uncomfortable, It's a natural path to growth. Embrace that discomfort as a sign of progress. And a stepping stone towards mastery. Expect resistance within yourself from. Friends, family coworkers, because homeostasis, as we've seen, applies to social systems as well as us as individuals. So it's not Something in us that is deficient. It's just the way it is. Homeostasis is going to call us back to staying the same, expect that resistance. And negotiate with it. So Be willing to take one step back for every two steps forward. And that is where again, passion, patience, and persistence is going to come into play. because just pushing forward without acknowledging that resistance Is where that possibility of backsliding is going to come into play. Alright, reinforce growth mindset. Adopting a growth mindset is really everything for everything. Believing that your abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. See the challenges and setbacks as opportunities for that learning and improvement. Embrace those setbacks as opportunities for growth. embrace, the emotions that come with all of that as teachers reflect on what went wrong and what lessons you can take from that experience. Use the failures of stepping stones towards improvement. Be adaptable and open to adjusting your approach as you progress. that flexibility is going to allow you to make course corrections. And adapt to changing circumstances. All right. R a an embrace is alive with supportive allies. Surround yourself with people who support your desire for change and personal growth. You want to seek out mentors and friends or colleagues who inspire you and encourage you on your journey. Be open to feedback from others, whether it's constructive criticism or positive reinforcement. Feedback helps you gain insights and make necessary adjustments on your path to mastery. and this, because it's really hard and can be scary. In our relationships sometimes doesn't happen as often as it should. And I would say this is again, a reason to have a coach. Coach is somebody who can provide that objective feedback and constructive criticism, positive reinforcement. And it's their job to do that. It's the it's part of that coaching container. It's that relationship that you have with somebody who can be really objective. And you know that they're on your side. They want you to get the outcome that you desire. And. It's just a really beautiful thing. It helps things helps you change so much faster than what you can ever do on your own. Okay. C Cultivate mindful awareness. This is going to help you observe those thoughts and emotions without judgment. Just noticing that you're having a thought backing up on the facts, asking yourself if it's true running that mental algorithm to get you to the truth and being able to replace those thoughts. It's all starts with noticing them without judgment. self-awareness helps us to identify homeostatic tendencies and empowers us to respond consciously to resistance. So we'll notice when it's happening. We'll be able to hit the pause button. And really examine it and come back to it later. Get to the solution a lot faster. This is a model that, that I run in my coaching sessions, all of the time. And I am just always amazed. It's one of the most fun things about coaching is that I'm always amazed at how quickly we can get at a solution. When we have a really clear process to get at what the truth is. challenge your existing routines and habits, introduce novelty and variety into your daily life to break away from that comfort of homeostasis. So don't settle into a routine every once, even if it's working for you every once in a while. Introduce something else drink out of a different coffee mug, walk a different route, do a different exercise, go do something that you always do. With a new friend. break yourself out of that routine so that you can continue to grow in that. And you don't. Get into that comfort of homeostasis. Visualize that success visualize yourself successfully adapting to the changes and achieving your goals. When you put it in your head and you're S you're actually visualizing it or saying it out loud, your brain hears it and can accept it. As truth that positive imagery will strengthen your motivation and your belief. In your ability to overcome those obstacles and change your current reality. E is for embrace celebrations. This is where we get to celebrate every milestone and achievement, no matter how small it is. we're really good at that. The coaching and a relationship as well, because. when my clients share with me how they're doing, I can see those as wins even when they don't and then we can celebrate those things and really enjoy the journey. We can see how far we've come. And sometimes you can't see that on your own. I recognize and reward yourself for efforts that you put into embracing change and moving towards mastery. It's a big deal. In fact, you could take time to celebrate just that you have listened to this podcast as a way to enhance your personal growth and to move towards mastery. In showing up every day as your extraordinary self, this is something that you want. And obviously you're listening to this. So you could be listening to anything you could be listening to. A more entertaining podcast and just zoning out, but you're not, you're here. You're doing the work. And so celebrate that, find a way today to celebrate that. In fact, I'd love to hear from you on how you're celebrating your progress. So email me. go to the link below in the show notes, reimagine wellness.org forward slash yes. Get on the list. once you're on that list, you can just hit reply and send me your feedback. I would love to hear how you're celebrating if you follow me on Instagram at re-imagine wellness or Facebook at re-imagine wellness. If we're Facebook friends, Go there. Let me know how you're celebrating. I'd love to hear it. And I'd love to celebrate with you. So the embrace framework. If you're driving and you can't take notes. I've put a link. re-imagine wellness.org forward slash yes. Get on the list and I'll email those right to you. So the embrace framework with that framework, you have a memorable guide to navigate the challenges of homeostasis and confidently embrace change in all aspects of your life. You can unlock potential for mastery and watch. That transformation happened. Now remember change and mastery required, dedication and resilience. It requires passion, patience, and persistence. By incorporating these practical tips and strategies into your life, you can overcome homeostasis. And enjoy the journey towards personal and professional growth. Embrace change as a constant companion On your path to mastery. All right, so there you have it. We have just scratched the surface on the intercurrent relationship between homeostasis ed mastery. It's fascinating, right? That aspect of human behavior and personal growth, the way that our brains work to protect us from even things that are good changes. Remember change is possible, but it requires courage and persistence. It requires passion, patience, and persistence. By understanding the psychological mechanisms at play. We can navigate those changes of homeostasis and get to our full potential. Thanks for joining me on the journey today. Ad if you enjoyed this episode, Don't forget to subscribe. To default to guests and share it with your friends and your family. Stay tuned for more exploration of all that goes into our desire to default to yes. And remember embracing change is the first step to unlocking your extraordinary self. Until next time, keep learning. Keep growing. With passion, patience, and persistence, we can break free. From homeostasis and embrace growth on our journey to mastery. as you get up every day at default to your extraordinary self. "Change, Homeostasis, and Mastery: Your Guide to Transformation"