Negativity Bias - We Can't Make it Go Away but We Can Use it For Our Good: Let's think about thinking.

Negativity bias is a psychological phenomenon that refers to the tendency of humans to give greater attention and importance to negative experiences, information, or events compared to positive ones. In other words, people tend to react more strongly to negative stimuli, such as threats, criticism, or bad news, than to positive stimuli of equal intensity.

Ever been there? 

This bias has evolved as an adaptive mechanism that helped our ancestors survive in potentially dangerous environments. Paying more attention to negative information, like the presence of a predator or the risk of contamination, was crucial for their survival. However, in modern society, where the threats are often less immediate, the negativity bias can lead to various cognitive and emotional challenges, such as anxiety, stress, and pessimism.

Here are ways you can use the negativity bias for your benefit:

1. Stay Informed and Aware  
2. Focus on Self-Improvement 
3. Embrace Mindfulness  
4. Risk Management
5. Promote Positive Environments
6. Emotional Regulation

While the negativity bias can lead to cognitive and emotional challenges, being aware of it and learning to manage it can help you make more balanced decisions, improve relationships, and foster personal growth. It's a powerful cognitive tool when used mindfully to your advantage.

Using a simple framework for self-talk that promotes a healthy balance and helps manage negative bias effectively involves cultivating positive and constructive inner dialogue.

If you find it challenging to implement this framework on your own, consider seeking support - as a listener, you have access to free coaching - a gift from me!  CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE. 

Remember that creating a healthy balance in your self-talk is an ongoing process. It's about developing a more compassionate, constructive, and resilient inner dialogue that supports your personal growth and well-being while managing negative bias effectively.

Transcript

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Welcome back to another episode. This is episode 31, and we are going to talk today about thinking we're going to think about thinking. And every time that I say that I can't help, but think about Winnie the poo, one of my favorite characters, I can see him sitting on a log with a piglet next to him. Piglet asks him what he's doing and Pooh says, I'm thinking about thinking. it was Winnie the Pooh's approach to everything. And maybe that's why I like Winnie the Pooh. This highlights the importance of metacognition, that process of thinking about thinking now. Now, this might sound like overthinking to some of you. Why would we think about thinking, isn't this making things too complicated, but I'm going to say no. Metacognition is a crucial component of learning and problem solving and decision making being intentional about it is going to help improve overall wellbeing as well, and solve some of our problems. And this is what coaching is really all about. One of my main goals for my clients is that they will over a period of time that really sometimes happens faster than you think will have a process of self coaching. And my whole goal is to work myself out of a job for every one of my clients. or to tackle new levels as we go. So metacognition is that crucial component of learning problem solving and decision making and involves our thought process of and regulating our own thinking and reflecting on our learning styles and to become more effective learners and thinkers. We have to develop. Our ability to evaluate our own understanding and adjust our strategies accordingly. And in this episode, we're going to talk about the concept of metacognition in a little more detail and discuss its benefits and how it's applied to various concepts. if you are a nurse, who's listening to this, I know a lot of my listeners are nurses. This is a nursing process. So you already have a process in place of metacognition. And that runs in the background, almost on automatic, and sometimes you're not even thinking all the way, you're not even really processing that this is your process. That's how this can get when we get good at what that process looks like for us, It just begins to be an automatic thing and we get better and better at all of that critical thinking So by reflecting on our thought process, we can gain better understanding of how we learn and solve problems. And this in turn allows us to adjust our strategies and improve performance. And this is something that is beneficial in the family setting, in the home, in the workplace. With our teams. but we need to turn it inward first and really approach this on how we how we take care of ourselves We talk a lot about strategies here. We talk a lot about science backed approaches to to improving our lives and to being able to default to our extraordinary selves. we can implement the practice and it can look different. For all of us. So metacognition helps us to understand how we learn best and identify those strategies that work for us. Metacognition can help us improve our learning. By helping us set goals to set those clear achievable goals and to understand strengths and weaknesses so that we can navigate around those. We talked about being able to understand or be able to predict some of the obstacles or resistance that we will meet. Monitoring progress is another benefit here. We can identify areas where we're making progress and in areas that we need to focus our attention. Reflection is an important part of metacognitive process because we can reflect on our experiences and determine what worked and what didn't, and then move on to To a better outcome. So it's all about how we think and that effective problem solving again, self reflection, identifying strengths and problems, identifying weaknesses of the problem solving approach is equally important adapting the approach and seeking feedback from others. Metacognition can help us evaluate our own thought process and biases, enabling us to make more informed and rational decisions to be able to respond and not react in our situation. It can help us be more aware of our own thought processes and biases. That is. Key. So by identifying cognitive biases, reflecting on past decisions, considering multiple perspectives, using logic and reasoning, being open to feedback, and we can improve our decision making processes and make better choices. So we need to think about thinking, because there's a lot going on there that can serve us and a lot that can harm us if I hold us back from really being our extraordinary selves that what we are intended to be what we were created for, if we're not. Intentional. So this is going to also lead us right into what I really wanted to talk about today was that the science behind negative bias and metacognition and how we can use negative bias and we can learn to appreciate it and process it appropriately. Our brains are fascinating and it's, they are our most powerful tool. For getting up every day and defaulting to yes. because our thoughts and perceptions are far from objective. And are often influenced by cognitive processes that can be both helpful and limiting. one phenomenon that plays a role in shaping our perception is negative bias. We can easily identify it in others, I'm sure, but sometimes it's not so easy to identify in ourselves. And we're going to talk about how we use that for our good. So making it go and go away completely is just not going to happen. It's not the way we're wired, although it seems to be the goal. And we have a tendency to deny it, to suppress it to look the other way to maybe try to overcome it with some other of our thoughts. We need to acknowledge it and learn from it and get curious about it because that's how it's going to help us. The ratio of negative to positive thoughts can vary from person to person and situation to situation, but it is often influenced by what psychologists refer to as the negativity bias. The negativity bias is a cognitive phenomenon in which humans tend to pay more attention and remember more vividly and be more affected by their negative experiences and thoughts compared to the positive ones. this bias is thought to have evolved as a survival mechanism as paying close attention to potential threats or dangers would have been really more beneficial to early humans. research suggests that on average, people do have a greater number of negative thoughts or experiences compared to the positive ones due to negativity bias. There are some studies that suggest that it takes several positive experiences to offset the impact of a negative one. It's important to note that negativity bias can vary from person to person. And some individuals just have a more pronounced negativity bias. While others seem to have more of a balanced or even a positive bias there. Where they tend to focus on positive thoughts and experiences. And if that's you, then that's fantastic. You can understand, you can use this to understand some of those people in your lives, and maybe some of your team members, additionally, life circumstances, personal experiences, and individually, as well as personality traits can all influence that ratio of negative to positive thoughts. there are approaches to be able to counter this or to overcome this to deal with this. And I want to talk about how just first of all, understanding where it comes from and why we can't completely eliminate it, no matter how hard we try at some level, you're going to have this negativity bias show up. so I always find that understanding these things is very helpful and being able to deal with these things. the negative bias, while it. Can be associated with pessimism or anxiety, does have certain advantages that can help us in various ways.

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I want to highlight this because we all have days where we can do a number of things. All correctly. We can do a number of really good things. And then one thing goes wrong and the whole day is bad. Or we can. Experience, we can do something and receive a lot of compliments. And one person says something that we perceive as being negative. And where does our brain go? It goes right to that one negative thing. And dwells there. And there's a difference again, between ruminating and reflecting. Reflecting is good. Ruminating is a little too much. You don't want to ruminate, reflecting and releasing is the goal. So that is the value of negative. Bias is that the brain's mechanism to what's the goal of our brain it's to protect us right. To keep us safe and to keep us comfortable and help us survive. And if we miss those things, that can be perceived as negative that could possibly bring us danger or put us in a uncomfortable place or a place of detriment. Our brain needs to address that. So if somebody says something negative to us, our brain interprets that as a sign of danger or an area of risk or a place to be cautious about. And so it goes into overdrive to fix that problem, even if it's a perception. So this is where the value of understanding the negative bias and what our brain is doing for us and how that negative bias works for us. And how we can manage it to our, for our good. So that's why we're talking about all of this, because I think that we have a tendency to think we just need to. Push that aside, or we need to get to a place where those things don't bother us anymore, but that's really not necessarily doesn't necessarily need to be the goal. we can't feel happy and we can't feel good all the time and that shouldn't be our goal because it's not real. It's not realistic. It's not the human experience, but what we can learn to do is balance that, embrace it and make it work for our good, so that our default mode is our extraordinary self.

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A negative bias is a survival mechanism. It helps us quickly identify potential threats in our environment. And for our ancestors, that could mean the difference between life and death, right? understanding that bad things can happen. And so we need to be aware of our environment. In modern, times, it serves a useful purpose by making us alert to potential dangers, whether they're physical, emotional, or social. negativity bias, could set some really good things in motion and prepare us for the obstacles or the resistance that we will face on either side. So it might help us approach the things a little differently and actually set us up for success. So in this way, negative bias can help us enhance our problem solving abilities. When we anticipate negative outcomes or risks, we are more likely to plan and prepare for them. This cautious approach can lead to better decision making, especially in situations where caution is warranted. I would say that leaders need to pay attention to this because you are going to encounter the negative bias of your team. And this is what that rollout and the science of change is all about when we acknowledge the negative bias, we might be able to actually mitigate some of the risks and actually move around some of the resistance a whole lot easier. Negative experiences tend to leave a stronger impression on our minds and positive ones as well. And this heightened memory for negative events helps us turn from mistakes and adapt our behaviors accordingly. It can promote personal growth by encouraging us to seek solutions and improvements.

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So going back to those experiences, in, let's say let's just stay in the workplace. Let's go back to those times. The times when you could be maybe a little cynical. And those experiences are informing your current situation. We could actually learn from that. If we, when we learn to process that and we learn to work through this metacognition. In the framework that I'm going to share with you. We can halt the process of making judgments in the current situation. Bring the past experience forward to learn from it, But not let it take over how we're experiencing our current situation. if I'm asked to participate in something and in the past I've done that and it hasn't worked out my brain and. Immediately brings that experience forward that negative bias towards any solution side to this problem. And by learning from the past. Not forgetting it, but reflecting on it and releasing it and learning from it. I can pull the past mistakes. So this time I can approach this situation a little differently. So maybe with that caution in place, I can set boundaries and I can. foresee some of the obstacles and maybe overcome them. So I don't have to just immediately react negatively to the invitation, to participate in the solution. Again. I can learn from the past instead of just assuming or assigning intention or negativity or, immediate because it happened this way in the past, it's going to happen this way today as well. I hope that makes sense to you and your, and I think there's probably a good chance that you're right now thinking of a circumstance that you were in, either in the workplace or family, or maybe it was a friend or relationship or a project. Whatever it was That setting that. triggers that negativity bias. In your brain.

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Immediately what comes to my mind is that before, whenever I do a talk, or if, when I put myself out there in any way I am anticipating some negative feedback, Making room for naysayers and being positioned to be able to embrace them, understand them, learn from them, or ignore or delete them. We don't have to listen to every voice that comes at us. Some of them are just wrong. Some of them aren't going to change our course. Anyway, so my, in my experience, when I first put myself out there I started an organization called essential oil nurses. because many nurses use essential oils personally and professionally, and I was advocating for moving essential oils into healthcare and really teaching the science behind essential oils. I had gotten a certification in aromatherapy, but I didn't talk about that. I. Honestly healthcare, doesn't acknowledge that certification as being legitimate anyway. the education was accredited, but the certification is not acknowledged and it's not a regulated industry. So I didn't ever talk about my certification in aromatherapy because I. It just, I don't know, it wasn't relevant to the conversation but there is a whole culture of aroma therapists and they didn't like what I was teaching. And they didn't like that. I was teaching nurses that they could use essential oils They questioned my credibility and they came after me in a big way, even to calling my employer we published an article in the the American nurse journal. And even the American nurse journal was like, we've never gotten so much feedback it was intense and when I think about it, like it seems like the the whole culture of aromatherapists was coming after me when in reality, it was only. I think there were four of them that really were persistent and were taking action on, their threats. The rest of them just made left their comments and moved on. But there were a couple of them that just really weren't going to let, it go that I was a nurse. Not as they, as far as they knew it was not a certified aromatherapist, but it was out here teaching essential oils to nurses. And they didn't like that.

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And the point of my, sharing this story is that I focused on those. Three or four. And By the time it all worked out, there was one voice. in particular that became the, voice of all aroma therapist. To me, when in reality, there were a whole lot more. a therapist that we're celebrating what we were doing. They were excited because this is something that they had been, working on for decades. And I learned from them and they were excited that nurses were coming on board and they joined us. And so there were probably hundreds of them. in fact the one one room, a therapist Was the one that I got my education from and she went out of her way. Of course, she's a nurse too. Went out of her way to educate nurses and to come on board, she spoke at our conference and I just really. learned a lesson on what voices to listen to and how negativity bias. Can take us down if if it's not managed well, Now every time I go to make a big move or put myself out there again, I don't back down because of those voices I would learn and grow and move on. And that is the value of the negativity bias at work.

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I have a process in which I filter my feedback through. Okay. So we have negative bias helps us with threat detection, problem solving, learning and adapting and motivation. negative emotions like fear and anxiety can serve as powerful motivators. When we experienced discomfort or dissatisfaction, it can drive us to take action to change our lives. This is when we make career. Choices and job changes and we change our living situations to get us out of what we don't want. Get us more of what we want. Negative bias can also play a role in formation and maintenance of social bonds. this played out yesterday in a group of entrepreneurs and healthcare practitioners who experienced, we had a negative experience together and it brought us together as a collaborative and really can already. A sense that the, that deeper and more meaningful relationships are being formed out of that experience. So we, when we show empathy and support to others during difficult times, it strengthens the social connections and builds trust and deepens relationships. Negative bias can also encourage cautious behavior when there are risks that could be harmful, then this can prevent impulsive decision making, as well as reckless actions that could lead to negative consequences Negative bias can also prompt us to pay attention to our health and seek medical help when we need it. So feeling unwell or experiencing symptoms can lead to that heightened awareness or potential health issues. This can result in early detection or treatment. so We don't even want negative bias to completely go away. because while negative bias has its advantages, excessive negative bias can lead to that chronic stress, anxiety, and reduced quality of life as well. So before you go celebrating and just really embracing all of your negative and bias or letting somebody else off the hook on their negative bias, we need to acknowledge that this can lead to a bad place. If we don't manage it, And that. And when all of those things are in play, it makes it really hard to default to our extraordinary self. So learning to recognize when negative bias is helpful and when it's detrimental is key to harnessing its benefits while mitigating its potential downsides. So how do we do that? How do we coach ourselves How do we talk to ourselves about all of this metacognition? It's the ability again, to think about our thinking and become aware of our cognitive processes. And this plays a crucial role in helping us manage the negative bias at that healthy balance that we want. I'm going to share with you a framework for self talk that promotes that healthy balance and manages negative bias effectively. This is going to involve cultivating the positive and constructive inner dialogue. First of all is awareness. to recognize when negative bias is at play in our thoughts and emotions. And by being mindful of our mental process, we can identify patterns of negative thinking, such as catastrophizing overgeneralization or dwelling on past failures. I have a negative bias. In my work experience in my professional life. And a lot of that is because of the experiences that I have had. And I, right now I have a leader who calls me on it and I love that. I sometimes don't love it in the moment but, I do, I so much appreciate her ability to stop me and remind me I'm telling myself a story I'm making a generalization I've got that, that soundtrack playing in my head that about what is about to happen, or I am assigning intention to a leader who didn't have anything to do with my past experience, And that isn't something that's going to serve me. I love that. we can start by becoming aware of the self talk and have that at play, paying attention to the ongoing chatter in your mind or the story, I like to call them soundtracks. There's actually a book by John Acuff called soundtracks that I read years ago and is very helpful. So I recommend that. He really talks about those soundtracks These are stories that we tell over and over in our head. So we're not really even sometimes consciously thinking the, that, that storyline, but there are soundtracks that play in our minds. And they just come on automatically they're triggered by some emotion or thought. And those are the ones that we need to bring to the forefront and be able to just turn them off or replace them with something that serves us. So soundtracks by John Acuff. That's it's a good book. So awareness. And then mindful observation the mindful, observation of your thoughts, instead of immediately accepting or rejecting them, simply observe them without judgment. This allows you to detach from your thoughts and see them as passing events. So this may be a good time to actually practice mindfulness because they talk about it a lot. And let's maybe just slow that down and just do it. Because maybe you're somewhere managing a negative bias right now, or you're on, you're at work or you're on the road. In your home, getting ready to start your day choosing what to wear. Sometimes to trigger this, what to eat can trigger this Maybe you're finishing a day of work, reflecting on the events of the day. It can pop up anywhere. So we're going to take a just, a minute or two, and do a brief mindfulness practice. You can do this while you're driving or walking or while you're active, but only if shutting off your critical thinking skills is not required right now for safety. This practice is going to help you stay present and centered in the midst of your daily activities. If you're not in a place that you can do this right now safely or effectively, just use your little forward button and skip through this. it's going to be a minute or two, there's with music in the background. So you can forward to the place where there's no longer music. All right, as you drive or walk, wherever you are, I invite you just to take a moment to notice your surroundings, observe the colors and the shapes, the textures around you. Notice the play of light. And shadow, allow your attention to rest on the world outside. Next I invite you to shift your focus to your breath, feel the natural rhythm of your breath as it flows in and out. You don't need to change your breath in any way. Just simply observe it. Feel the gentle rise and fall of your chest or the subtle sensation of air passing through your nose. Can you feel where your body meets the chair? Where your feet touch the ground as you continue to breathe naturally, bring your attention to the physical sensations in your body, feel the points of contact between your body and the seat of your car or the ground beneath your feet. Notice any tension or areas of discomfort and allow them to soften as you breathe. Are your shoulders tense? Do they need to be relaxed? Face? Relax your face. Now let's engage your senses. Listen to the sounds around you. This might be the hum of the engine, the rustling of leaves, footsteps on the pavement. Are you in your home? Can you hear the electronic devices? Maybe there are other people walking around. Just the sounds. Be fully present in this auditory experience. Now, as you drive or walk, whatever you're doing, you may encounter in various sense, take a moment to appreciate any pleasant or intriguing aromas that come in, come your way, whether it's the scent of nature, food, the city. Now, remember the goal here is not to change anything about your experience, but to be fully present in it, allow yourself to be immersed at this moment. if you find your mind wandering. That's okay. Just bring it back. If you have to bring your mind back, be gentle, a gentle tap, bring it back to the moment. Continue to breathe mindfully, listen to your surroundings and feel the sensations in your body. As you go about your journey, this is a simple practice that can help ground you in your present, reduce your stress and cultivate a greater sense of awareness in your daily life. And that's really all it takes. It's always here. This is a tool that you can use to always come back to a space that you can come back to at any time that you need to be present and focused. And quiet. All right. thank you for taking a mindful moment with me. You can return to your regular activities now with a sense of presence and calm, and hopefully you will know that, presence is there with you always, and you can come back to it at any time that you want. If you were somewhere where you didn't get to participate and you fast forwarded, then just come back to it later. I'll put the minute marker in the show notes. so part of our framework is, first awareness, second, mindful observation. And then third, we're going to distinguish fact from interpretation. Negative bias often involves making negative interpretations of events or situations that may not be as bad or as good as we perceive them. We had a church planning coach that used to remind us all the time that things aren't as bad or as good as we see them. It was annoying when he said that when We would tell him about our wins and tell him how excited we are about something that was going really well. He would remind us that things aren't as good as they seem. or as bad as they seem. And it was just a way of keeping us balanced. And I do appreciate that because that was Cause the road of a church planting or starting anything new, being an entrepreneur, it can be bumpy, it can be high highs and low lows all sometimes in the same day, sometimes within an hour of itself, but things are not always as bad or as good as they seem. Once you start paying attention, you understand the wisdom in that and by recognizing that our thoughts are interpretations, rather than absolute truths, we can challenge and reframe them more effectively. again, it's really important for us to recognize that a lot of the things when we are having a reaction or we're reacting negatively to something. A lot of times we're telling ourselves a story that either isn't true or we can't know it's true. we can't know other people's intentions. So that is something it's really easy to assign and attention to someone, We can't know that all we can know are the facts. So we always start with the facts, distinguishing fact from interpretation can be huge in our journey. we say it all the time. You can't always believe what you think. so awareness, mindful observation, distinguishing facts from interpretation and identifying negative patterns With awareness, you'll notice recurring negative thought patterns, and this might include self criticism, catastrophizing, overgeneralization, and identifying these patterns and label them when they come up. question. Those negative thoughts. Metacognition encourages us to ask those critical questions about our negative thoughts. we are can become aware and investigate the validity and the utility of that thought. indisputable fact? Thank you. Is this thought helping me or hindering me that can be, that's a huge question. Does this, does this serve you and this questioning can lead to more balanced and rational thinking. All right. So then challenge and shift those negative thoughts. When you identify a negative thought pattern, challenging them with critical thinking, instead of being passive recipients of negative bias, we can actively choose. And view those situations from different angles. For example, metacognition allows us to reframe that experience. And as a learning opportunity, rather than a source of self criticism, I'm going to ask yourself questions like, is this thought based on fact or assumptions? Is there evidence to support this thought? What's the worst case scenario and how likely is it? one of my favorite questions for my clients is so what? So what if that does happen? What if it does, what if the worst case does happen? It's really eyeopening when you actually answer the question to what the worst case scenario is and how it will affect you. So are there alternatives, more balanced interpretations? How else could you see this? Can you see it from a different perspective? by questioning the negative thoughts, you can weaken their grip on the emotions and your behaviors that follow. Which leads us to that last piece of our framework, to reframe and replace. So once you've challenged the negative thoughts, We can replace those overly negative and irrational thoughts, when we discern that they aren't serving us, we can replace them with more balanced, rational and positive thoughts. For example, instead of saying, I'm a failure, you could say I faced. I faced a setback, but I can learn from it. Instead of this will never work. We can say this is a challenge, but we can find a solution. So reframe and replace then monitoring emotional responses. Metacognition also involves monitoring our emotional responses to those negative thoughts. When we recognize a negative bias is contributing to heightened stress or anxiety or sadness or worry, we can employ. Emotional regulation strategies, like deep breathing or mindfulness or cognitive restructuring to manage our emotional reactions in a more healthy way. And this we can do through self compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend who's facing a similar situation and acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes and encounters difficulties. This is normal and it's part of the human experience. Might as well embrace it. using self affirming and motivational statements that inspire action, like I have the skills and resilience to overcome this challenge, or I am committed to personal growth and wellbeing. I can do this. I can do hard things. regularly reminding yourself of things that you are thankful for and positive aspects of your life. This can counteract negative bias and foster that more optimistic outlook. Visualization is another technique that we can use to picture ourselves succeeding and achieving the goals. Visualizing positive outcomes can really boost your confidence and motivation. So this is something, another skill that we can, bring into our, we can pull from our toolbox and be able to really manage this negative, a negativity bias. So like any skill, improving your self talk requires practice and consistency. It may take some time to rewire some ingrained negative thought patterns to shut off those soundtracks, to replace those soundtracks with soundtracks that are more that serve you better. So be patient with yourself and persist in this framework. it really does change everything. And and it's one of the things that honestly, I think is that is. Fascinating about our brains and amazing about the coaching process, how quickly we can get there within a nonjudgment safe space that that creates the, just holds that space for this process. So remember that creating a healthy balance for your self talk is an ongoing process. And it's about developing a more compassionate or constructive, resilient, inner dialogue that supports your personal growth and wellbeing while managing that negative bias effectively. The goal is not to make it go away. The goal is to manage it and use it to our benefit. All right. thank you for joining me on this journey today as we look at metacognition and we think about thinking and explore a little bit of that phenomenon of our fascinating brains, how we process negative bias If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe and share. This is the way we become a great big community of those who get up every day and default to yes. Remember while negative bias is not going away and. Nor do we want it to. it serves us by helping us detect threats and problem solve. It keeps us motivated. It bonds us together and it helps us to use caution in risky situations. And sometimes It leads to good health decisions and we can manage it. Through the awareness, mindful observation, distinguishing fact from interpretation, identifying the negative patterns, challenging and shifting those negative thoughts, monitoring our emotional response, when we do all that consistently and together, you are more in a place to get up every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.