Is Victim Mentality or Learned Helplessness Showing up in Your Workplace? How to Avoid and Overcome

In this episode, Juli Reynolds, a nurse coach and aromatherapist, discusses the pervasive issues of victim mentality and learned helplessness in the workplace. She explains how these psychological states affect nurses' job satisfaction and productivity, contributing to a toxic work environment. Julie shares insights on how nurse coaches can help shift these mindsets through cognitive restructuring, mindfulness, aromatherapy, and other holistic interventions. She emphasizes the importance of fostering open and supportive environments, understanding emotional barriers, and integrating holistic care for overall well-being. 

Join Juli as she highlights personal experiences and practical examples, encouraging us to seek personal growth and apply these techniques for professional and personal development.

Transcript

0:59

Welcome to another extraordinary week. I am your host, Julie Reynolds, nurse coach and aromatherapist. And I am going to talk a little bit about something that might be a little bit hard to listen to, but we're going to talk about it anyway, because it came up several times in conversation this week for me and has in the past, I think I already shared with you, it was evaluation time at my workplace. And so I've been thinking a lot about the mindset of our workplace and the concepts Will would explain some of the mindsets that take place in the workplace that make us so miserable. And so I'm going to do that. And then I'm going to share some insights about what nurse coaches do and what that might look like from, a patient perspective. So if you're a nurse and you'd like to know what a nurse coach would do as part of your practice, you're going to get some insights on that. Now I don't necessarily a lot of times coach patients. I coach a lot of nurses and so I'm coaching mostly around cognition and our thought life, the healthy mind, body, spirit. spirit, how the thought life and cognition plays a role in that. I have been focusing on aroma cognition because as I said, I'm an aroma therapist. I love essential oils and all of the benefits for our health. And so that's, I'm very passionate about being able to get that education out there because I think people don't quite fully understand the potential there with essential oils and with aroma therapy and some of these holistic interventions. The concept that I'm going to bring up today is victim mentality and my coach brought it up in a session and just As I was thinking about it, I thought it was kind of, I was, it was interesting timing that he would begin to talk about victim mentality and address that topic. What is it play here in the workplace that keeps us stuck in a place that we think we don't like to work, but we're, we don't want to leave it because we like our coworkers. We like our work, we like our schedule, but just something about it. Now, when I ask nurses specifically, they'll always say, It's always the, they are out to get us, or they don't listen to us. They don't understand us. They don't care about us. There's always this messaging. And I started thinking about, is it the victim mentality that takes place when you are an employee that feels disempowered and then just gets stuck in that messaging and that thought is at play because some of that is true, right? So It's reasonable. It's a reasonable thought to have take hold. Now, there's another concept called learned helplessness, and we're going to talk about that too. They're related aspects, but they're distinct psychological phenomenons. And we're going to explore both of them and then discuss how first of all, let's define victim mentality. Victim mentality is that psychological state where someone perceives themselves as a victim of circumstances that are beyond their control. It's a mindset that's characterized. by a consistent focus on blaming others or external factors for your problems and feeling powerless to change the situation and expecting negative outcomes. Does that sound familiar? I think it does. And I have been in that mentality as well. I can't say that it's not justified, especially in the healthcare setting. Some of those things just don't work. And that kind of describes what a lot of nurses say nursing is. And it's not just nurses, my physician colleagues will sometimes describe the healthcare setting that way as well. a lot of things dictated to us and not without, and you're just kind of beyond the circumstances beyond our control. behaviors within this mentality is that, individuals with a victim mentality can often, feel sorry for ourselves or express that lack of personal responsibility. I feel that others are always treating them unfairly and may also resist attempts to change their situation even when the opportunity arises. joint commission came this and We did really well. We didn't get any citations. We watched all of the flurry around preparing for that visit and we managed to get through it just fine. And every time they visit I like to remind my colleagues that this is the one time when we can get something fixed. Maybe not a lot of things, but there's something that we can use. This is an opportunity for us to call attention to something that has not been in order for a very long time, but now we have a chance to fix it because all eyes are on it. So you might have a really good manager, a really good director, leader that wants to fix it too. And it's the only time it's that one time a year that they're. The people they report to are also paying attention to it. Those visits go all the way up the chain. And so we have all eyes on any problem that we want to fix. And so it's an opportunity. people are going screw it. I'm not doing that. They don't listen. Nothing's ever gonna change. And that's Victim mentality behavior that plays out the impact in the workplace is that a person with a victim mentality might feel like management or co workers are out to get them, which can lead to that lack of motivation and decrease productivity conflicts with others, and it's a mindset that creates that toxic work environment, and that might then that negativity and mistrust really just Spreads. And so that's what that kind of looks like. That sounds very familiar to me. And as my coach was teaching on that, I thought that really fits. and then I discovered that there's this little tweak on this, this learned helplessness. Now I want to put a disclaimer out there. I am not a psychologist. I'm a nurse and I do know how to read articles and I do know how to do some of the research and I read from different sources and try to take in the different perspectives. So when I went to do this, it did take me a little bit of digging. Learned helplessness is a condition where a person has learned to believe that they're helpless in controlling the outcome of a situation, and even when they have the power to change it. And this occurs after repeated exposure to uncontrollable adverse events, leading to a sense of powerlessness. Oh my gosh, when I read this, I thought, this is where we are right now in healthcare sometimes is we have that, we have learned, and like I said, that victim mentality was totally reasonable. I could see that, why that would happen to someone who works in healthcare. maybe any employee feels that way in their institution. I don't think that any of this is unique to healthcare. I think it's overall, probably the corporate structures and maybe our culture and it might be specific to the United States too. but let's focus on specifically what is happening in your life. What is your experience? What is my experience? Cause that's where we can start to make change. Now the behaviors with learned helplessness, people experiencing learned helplessness might give up easy. They avoid challenges, show little effort to improving their situation, and they might also experience some depression or low self esteem or an anxiety. This seems so spot on to the condition of nursing right now. Now the impact in the workplace is that learned helplessness can manifest as disengagement, lack of initiative and poor performance. Employees who start to feel that they have no control over their work environment become passive and they stop trying to improve their situation and they may even develop some symptoms of burnout. So if you are someone who's ever heard a leader say that the people who don't desire change, they just want to come do their job and go home. meets expectations. Don't rock the boat. Don't advocate. they make it easy for us. So it's good to have some of those. but when we become passive and we stop trying to improve our situation, when we know it, there's room for improvement. It takes a little piece of our soul and there, nobody enjoys that. Everybody would like to improve their situation. Maybe they just have that learned helplessness that manifests this way as disengagement. So I guess as leaders, we need to really take a close look at why that is happening. What is it? Is it victim mentality? Is it learned helplessness? We can drill into that, and it should be these things, people who come to work and don't want to do anything but the bare minimum, punch the clock, keep your head down, go to work, do the work, go home. There's something else going on there. How can we support those people? How can we support them? Now, I also know that not everyone dives into personal growth in the way that you do and the way that I do. And maybe they're really happy with the way they are and just making slow progress or progress every day. And the aspirations don't look to us like they're very big. it doesn't really matter. That's like personal choice, how people want to live. not saying that I'm saying. living in a toxic environment, working in a place that makes you crazy, or even puts you at risk for burnout isn't where you want to be. It's not where anybody wants to be. So if you are there, or if your employers are there, then you have to ask why, what kind of support do they need? and I love the initiative my manager, put out. A little while ago, and she asked us to consider some things that weren't really part of a professional setting in our minds anywhere. And I'd never heard anybody introduce mercy and grace and compassion and tolerance into a professional workspace. And it threw some people off. Like how in the world do you offer grace and mercy to someone who shows up late every day or someone who doesn't do the work? how do we be vulnerable in the workplace and take that risk with people that we aren't there, but maybe we're thrown into situations that we didn't choose those people, really. So they are. They're chosen for us, and do we trust them? Do we have to trust them? I would say Our work life will be happier if we can trust people and we can have relationships that are authentic. I'm not saying you have to spend every moment with your work, buddies or your colleagues, and you don't have to get way into their life. But there is a way of relating. That maybe we could open the door to more vulnerability and to grace and mercy and compassion. And maybe we could get curious about what that looks like. And maybe if we got curious about that and we upped the level of appreciation for those qualities, we would be less hesitant to make those improvements. And maybe we would feel more empowered. So, when someone believes that they don't, I hear it all the time, they're out to get me, messages, when someone believes that, when you start telling yourself that, it's a signal that you may be experiencing either victim mentality or learned helplessness. Now, the psychological impact on that is that those beliefs can reinforce feelings of isolation and anxiety and depression, and everything is connected. You don't get to go to work and then separate that out from your non work life. We spend a lot of time at work and our brains are being conditioned one way or the other. So, that person might start to withdraw from social interactions, become overly defensive. Or exhibit that job, performance decline. I heard a nurse that I really respect say I'm just done learning and I couldn't even be, you know, it's just like, where are we that we are? That that is a celebrated message. I'm done learning. I don't know about you all, but I'm done learning. They don't appreciate it. nobody expects us to think or critically think or. that is not a healthy mindset and it's going to spill over into our life outside of work, too. That is a lot of discipline to leave that behind or compartmentalize that. And is it even really a good idea? So the mindset really, besides disrupting our own internal, Ecosystem, I guess. And that thought life and conditioning our brain to then start to distrust in general. that mindset really disrupts teamwork and communication. if an employee believes that management or colleagues are antagonistic, they will start to resist any feedback, avoid collaboration, and even engage in counterproductive work behaviors like gossiping and sabotaging projects. Is any of this sounding familiar to you right now? Because wow, it does to me. when I was reading this in articles, I was thinking, wow, we're really just this. Why did I see this before? Because to me, having a name for it and labeling it really is helpful because then you can go to work on finding the actual problem that you want to solve. Now psychologists suggest that these negative beliefs. The cognitive behavioral approaches often focus on challenging and reframing these thoughts If someone expects to be treated poorly, they may unconsciously behave in ways that lead to negative interactions and confirm their beliefs, that's a cognitive bias. You might get it because your brain is looking for it. The cognitive behavioral approaches often focus on challenging and reframing these thoughts. to break the cycle of negativity. Now psychologists also call attention to cognitive distortions. They're exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that perpetuate negative thinking. The common distortions include personalization, that they are out to get me. That over generalization, the black and white thinking. And I know that those things have played a role in mine. And I know that I've had to do some really hard work in learning what is behind all of that. What. Kind of, of coping mechanism is that and is it healthy? And I knew it wasn't. And so doing the work is not always easy. If you're still listening, you are somebody who does the work. And so I applaud you for that. Way to go you for defaulting to want to defaulting to yes, your extraordinary self. Just in listening this far with everything that I'm saying so far. So, now as far as going back to what psychologists say about this, there are interventions that focus on helping us recognize these distortions and develop healthier thought patterns. These techniques are things that I learned in nurse coaching. These techniques are cognitive restructuring and mindfulness and assertiveness training. Now, of those mindfulness has been an extremely helpful, I think, technique to or practice to adopt. And, just because it can put you really in touch with people. Really what you're thinking and feeling I'm not at all letting organizations off the hook here. I definitely, I am not one who shies away from challenging the messages that come out to employees that suggest that we should be able to fix this problem by ourselves or that messaging of fix yourself. Because the organization is never going to be fixed. I don't think that is the right way to think about it either. I think we just have to say, I need to do what's healthy for me so that I can be part of the change in the organization. Now, from a workplace perspective, fostering that open and supportive environment, providing regular feedback and offering resources for mental health can help mitigate the impact of mindsets. And I appreciate that. The efforts, even in my organization, I appreciate that they are making an effort. I also appreciate the mindset of the risk that employees take when they. Go on those journeys. I went to a resilience training at the encouragement of my manager, kicking and screaming. the program was good. There were some really good aspects of it. And at one point, the leader left us in a room. And right after she'd asked me a question about where I thought my burnout was coming from. I said, I don't know that this is the right place to share my story. and I think I said something along the lines of this is probably something I need to privately process. And then she left the room, which made everyone in the room turn to me and want to know my story. And I shared a little bit of it. And the more we were left alone in that room, the more it became obvious that I wasn't alone. And we had all been sent there because we were in the midst of burnout. And the only suggestion that they had is do more for us. It was an interesting experience, and I appreciate that they have that room. It would have been a whole lot, like, to open up a chat room and let us complain to each other, I guess, and put a coach. So, this is what coaching is, because I can get in the room with nurses who are burnout and ask them questions. What do you want? What is a better thought that you could have so that they can get it? What they really want. And maybe it's to change jobs. And unfortunately, a lot of the nurses that I do meet with end up creating exit strategies or finding that they need to change. Now I have a manager right now for the very first time that is. really works hard at trying to create that environment. And she's working with a lot of, past traumas, trauma informed nurses that are carrying around these messages and aren't really sure. We know we could trust her, but can we trust her? What is beyond her? What if something gets past her? Then we're in trouble. You know, like that whole mentality, it's just scary to trust again. So, so what we need then, I'm going to kind of turn this around to what we can do for us and what we can do for each other if we learn these techniques. what if we could turn it around? and in full disclosure, I still have an exo strategy. If you don't think it's possible, as it's, It's probably, I don't know, sometime I think, is it naive or grandiose? What is it that keeps me hoping? I don't know. regardless, I've found that in my own life, cognitive restructuring is key, a key technique to that, and it's used in cognitive behavior therapy, and it can be effectively applied In the nurse coach setting and it's the skill that I learned. So where I'm not going to say I'm not trained in cognitive behavioral therapy and all that is, but I do know cognitive restructuring I can do this as a mindfulness based intervention and really help my clients. It helps myself and to identify and change unhelpful negative thought patterns in a nurse coach setting where the focus is on holistic care and supporting patients in achieving overall wellness. Cognitive restructuring can be particularly valuable. I have used this in my patients. I only had them for short periods of time and I've used this in a way to help them. see past what they're afraid of and understand some of the changes. I've used this in their resistance to taking medication. I've used this in their resistance to, maybe smoking cessation. So there are a lot of different, and it's certainly overcoming anxiety. And I don't have, like reports because I'm in per anesthesia, so I'm helping people get ready for surgery or recovering and sending them home. So, most of my, like, what I can see helpful in more of the long term is with my coaching clients. I'm going to frame all of this in, if you are a nurse and you want to help your patients so that you can see that even learning these techniques, along with being really helpful. to you and your personal practice, and you're enhancing overall wellbeing. You can, if you learn these techniques, it could help you maybe feel more empowered and have more autonomy in your workplace that your employer can't touch. So first of all, cognitive restructuring can be really valuable in the nurse to patient relationship. And what this looks like is, first of all, identifying those negative thought patterns. So get out your notepad because I'd like you to take some notes. You might need to so that you can unpack this in a way that is relevant to you. And I'm gonna ask you to write this down in your journal and practice this on yourself as well. So in light of everything that I talked about with the victim mentality versus learned helplessness in the workplace as an employee, maybe, and again, I, in talking to nurses, I think this is really fitting. So look at this, take yourself through this in that search of circumstance. So maybe enhance your overall wellbeing and your, your thought process for a better, for professional and personal growth. And then how that learning these techniques will also help you be more empowered and autonomous in your workplace. So the process, the nurse coach works with a client to identify a specific negative thought or cognitive distortion that may be impacting their emotional well being or health behaviors. And this could be thoughts related to stress, anxiety, self worth, or their ability to manage a health condition. So the example, it might look like a patient with chronic illness or chronic pain might think, I'll never get better. So why bother trying? So the nurse coach then helps the patient to recognize this as a form of the catastrophic thinking. And What would it look like to have a different thought or a different feeling about your situation? Seriously, you guys, even just that simple question we ha is just part of trusting.'cause we all have the answers within us. Even when you think your patient doesn't, wouldn't know the answer to this, they'll have an answer that will lead you to another question and just getting curious. so again, the patient with chronic pain or chronic illness might think, I'll never get better, so why bother trying? So this might be, you know, hey, I've smoked for 60 years. It's never gonna get better. Why should I bother? Well, you're in a situation, In a, in a PACU, for example, they've just had anesthesia. They're coughing their heads off. They're miserable. And you know, that there's that shoulder is going to hurt like crazy when they're coughing. And it's only going to get worse for the next couple of days. Well, they're going to have that experience when they get home. So get them thinking Alright, so challenging and reframing thoughts is another part of that coaching. So first of all, identifying the negative thought patterns. And then challenging and reframing thoughts. once the negative thoughts are identified, The nurse coach would guide the client through in challenging these thoughts by questioning the validity and considering alternatives. Like I said, what would it look like to have a better thought? You could ask your patient to provide evidence for or against the thought. For example, what evidence do you have that You'll never get better. Have there been times when your symptoms have improved? Suggest get curious. So there's a difference between leading questions and getting curious too. So that's going to be all part of your thought process, but these are good questions to ask. Alternative explanations. Encourage your, The patient to consider other reasons or explanations for their situation. So, for example, instead of thinking, I'll never get better, the patient might reframe the thought to there have been ups and downs in my health and I can take steps to improve my condition. So helping the patient to realize that even if the worst happens, they have the resources or support to handle it. Hey, we're gonna get you through this. Yeah, it's gonna hurt because it's surgery. It's gonna hurt, but I'm there for you and we're gonna do some things that are gonna make it easier for you You're gonna get through this it's gonna be over and this will help to reduce that fear associated with catastrophic thinking because believe it or not that catastrophic thinking applies to even very short term Logically, they know this is only going to take a second, but in their heads, it represents all the pain they're experiencing, all the fear that they have around this. It's the brain is telling them they're going to die when you stick that needle in their skin. And we know it's not true. They know it's not true. So we just need to help guide their thinking. So developing healthier thought patterns. And so how does that apply to you and your workplace? And you're enhancing your overall well being. What different thought could you have going into your workplace? What is a better thought? What is a thought that you would have? What would it look like to have that better thought? And then to say, you know, Hey, this is, we're in a bad situation, but I can say I have a manager who listens to me and every conversation leads us to a solution. So it doesn't give us a solution, doesn't fix our problems, but every day that I show up with this thought, I am, it's one step closer to a better place to work and more autonomy and more empowerment. Alright, so developing healthier thought patterns. the nurse coach. Assist the client in replacing negative thoughts with more realistic and positive ones. It's not about that forced positivity. I am not a fan of any, like, we're not talking about toxic positivity and just replace every negative thought with a positive thought because thoughts aren't negative or positive. They are what you make them mean. they produce feelings and not all feelings feel good. And so we tend to think that those are negative thoughts, but they might be really positive thoughts in that they lead us to the solution that we need. They lead us in the direction that we want to go. So again, this is not about forced positivity. It's about fostering a more, balanced outlook that supports overall well being. So the patient might replace, I'm too overwhelmed to handle my health issues with I could take one small step today to improve my health and that's progress. And we can do the same thing in our situation. Or even sometimes it's, I'm way too overwhelmed to read an article or learn something new. Now I shared with you before that the thought was, I don't want to learn. And I don't think that was true. Not about her. I don't think it was true about anyone of the nurses around her that agreed with her. I think it was, I'm too overwhelmed to learn. Anything new, everything we're being bombarded with new systems and new initiatives and new thoughts and new challenges, I'm too overwhelmed to handle learning anything new now, what would it look like to say instead, I can take one small step today to improve my health and that's progress. I can learn this one. thing that will improve my practice. I can learn this one skill. I can learn this one thing. That will, and that's progress. I don't have to learn it all. I don't have to read the whole article. I could just learn one thing. I could do that. So what would it look like to think that and just acknowledge that overwhelmed with handling everything and just tackle one thing? so that's what nurse coaching looks like is just getting at that developing healthier thought patterns and then practicing and reinforcing the new thoughts. So the nurse coach encourages the patient to practice these new healthier thought patterns in their daily life. I love to say, hook it to a habit. So, I teach this in aromatherapy when people are learning essential oils, and I teach it in coaching when you're implementing a new thought. It's really important that the brain gets conditioned for it to be sustainable. We need to keep practicing it. And these healthier patterns, might involve setting reminders. So, recently I was talking to someone about drinking water and the man said that he does not drink water. How is he going to get water in? And I said, well, do you drink coffee? And he said, yeah. Does that count? And so of course we know that if we're drinking coffee, that's about half the fluid. You know, like the caffeinated beverages are about half. of the water that if you were drinking water, you'd need to drink two of them, which isn't the recommendation here. I know that's going to say during two coffees instead of a glass of water. But what I said is, well, what would it look like? What would make it easy for you to drink a glass of water? And he's, he said, well, go, let's go back to the coffee. Does that count? I said, well, what if you put a glass of water next to your coffee? How long does it take your coffee to brew? What could you drink a glass of water while you're waiting for your coffee to brew? and he said, well, I don't know if I could do that, but I could drink a glass of water after I brush my teeth. So that's it. That's, I mean, he had the answer. So, hook that to a habit. That's one more glass of water for him and in a way that he thought was really, easy to do. So when I teach people how to use their oils, I'll say, put your oil wherever you will. If you're using lavender to help you sleep at night, put that lavender on your bedside table so that when you lay down, you don't go, oh, shoot, I forgot to get my lavender. No, it's right there by the bedside. So when you think about it, you can just grab that lavender. If a patient feels anxious about a doctor's appointment, they might practice reframing their thoughts from this appointment will only bring me bad news. nothing goes wrong until I go to the appointment and then everything is wrong. How many times have we heard that? What if we thought the appointment is a step towards understanding and managing my health better? Because you're going to have to do it anyway, might as well go to that appointment and get the information that you need to do it in a productive way. So just reframing, practicing those reinforcing and reinforcing those new thoughts. And then addressing resistance and emotional barriers, the whole process of cognitive restructuring can sometimes be really challenging. And as patients, as the nurses, we might feel resistant to changing long held beliefs. Over the past 15 years, I have learned some things and long held beliefs that have been really hard for me to let go of because I feel like I'm protecting myself with those thoughts and really, I wasn't protecting myself. I was conditioning my brain in a way that I didn't want to, and it wasn't helping my overall well being. It was leading me into burnout and chronic stress and some health problems, and that I wasn't really attributing directly to the thought process until I learned these techniques. So this cognitive restructuring, can be challenging, What if I let go of those beliefs and I get hurt? The nurse coach provides that support and empathy, helping the patient work through emotional barriers and reinforcing the benefits of changing their thought patterns. And as leaders, because if you're listening to this, you are a leader. You you're ascribed to personal growth. you're half hour into you listening to this and something in you wants to make things better for yourself and for the people around you. You are somebody who wants that extraordinary life and to have that. Sometimes we have to go through the hard stuff and we have to lean into that and we have to provide some support and empathy to those around us who are working through those emotional barriers and reinforce the benefits of changing those thought patterns while understanding, because these are all legitimate, reasonable thoughts. that You have, you have them for a reason and you didn't make it up despite what your employer might say. Gaslighting is a real thing and so anybody who tells you it isn't or is trying to convince you that organizations don't want to send a message like advertising. They're trying to tell you how they want you to think and if they tell you how you think and how it is. long enough, maybe you will believe it and they won't have to deal with it. Again, it's reasonable for our bosses to think it's easier if we are just quietly miserable. silent and don't make waves and don't try to change anything because then they can make their job easier. So it is reasonable, but it doesn't really make their job easier in the long run because, well, retention. All right. If, so an example for a patient is if a patient is say resistant, the idea that they can improve their health, the nurse coach might explain to them. and so this is a great way to explore some underlying fears or past experiences that contribute to this resistance. providing a safe space for the patient to express and process these emotions. And we can do the same thing as leaders. And we can do this for our colleagues. Even if you're not in a position of leadership, you can provide a safe space for your colleagues to express and process some of these emotions. There are fears that come out of past experiences that are legit and, how cool would it be if our employers would actually listen to that now, to be fair, it's not what they're paid for either. And so to deal with our past experiences, It's a whole lot easier just to tell us it's our responsibility to get over it. And while it is, but if you are a good leader and you are in a position of leadership, explore some of those underlying fears and past experiences that contribute to the resistance that you're seeing in your team. and provide that safe space for them to express and process these emotions. not too long ago, I experienced something that completely triggered my past trauma. to my manager, it seemed like a little thing to me. I was in total fight or flight and I broke down crying, which was. a little alarming and I was having a really hard time even controlling it. I was so triggered. I wanted to just say I quit and walk out and she, you know, she allowed me some space. She empathized. I reacted very strongly to being told that this was no big deal because it was a big deal in my past experience, and it was a very triggering event, but allowing that for me to express my fears and past experience, I was able to see that it was a past experience, that it wasn't true of today, that it wasn't the same as today, even if it was. Even though everything in my body and mind was telling me that it was the same and the outcome was going to be the same and this, it's happening all over again, here we go again, I was in trouble and that was not true. It was a minor thing that could be fixed very easily. I had a supportive leadership and my manager just let me, Like I said, express those past experience a lot to say why I was reacting the way I was to have that emotional reaction and then solve it. She didn't try to talk me out of it. but she did just very lovingly and gracefully explained to me that my situation today was not the same as it was in the past, that I'm not in the same place. We are not the same people. It's not the same situation that we could fix this without any catastrophe. We can do that for our colleagues, we can do that for our teams, we can do that for our patients, if we just take the time to acknowledge and, if you think somebody is taking a victim mentality, or is part of learned helplessness, the right approach is never going to be kick them when they're down. Just never is going to be. And I think that that's the point of introducing compassion and mercy, vulnerability and tolerance into the workplace as strange as that might seem. All right. So hopefully you're starting to see, where I'm coming from and how important it is to really get these techniques and just call it what it is. And let's go to work, making it better. So as far as integrating cognitive restructuring with holistic care, nurse coaches often integrate all of this with cognitive restructuring. Other aspects of holistic care like mindfulness, relaxation techniques, lifestyle changes, and it's more of a comprehensive approach that helps our patients not only be able to change their thinking, but also support their overall health and well being. We learned that in nurse coaching, and I will say that it pays off. First, you start to experience that personal transformation. It's the same way with aromatherapy. I think people ask me how to share essential oils with their colleagues or with physicians who really have to answer to that medical model and live in that medical model. And I will say that with essential oils, with cognitive restructuring with aromacognition, you really have to experience it for yourself first, so that you see the benefits. Mindfulness is the same way. All of these techniques that lead to lifestyle change are experienced on a personal level first. And then we can take this comprehensive approach to help our patients, our colleagues, our families, not only to change their thinking again, but for overall health and well being. So a nurse coach might combine cognitive restructuring with some breathing exercises or guided imagery to help a patient manage anxiety and teach them to use these techniques when negative thoughts arise. And this is what I do with patients that are over the top anxious with IV starts is I will ask them what thought that they would rather have or what place they would rather be. Do they have a happy place? Is there something that they would rather be doing right now that would feel better when they answer these questions? Granted, I don't have a whole lot of time to dive in deep with their thought process. Some of them know exactly what they're thinking. It's a childhood trauma that they had in a hospital or they have an experience. Then we can just say, well, what is a different thoughts that you can have? And then I'll have them through positioning and breathing. And some of these techniques just, get through this experience that way by with some guided imagery or with some breath work. And so you can do this in seconds, really don't, we don't have to have a lot of time to really make something better for someone. And we don't have to have that for us to make it better for us. And the nice thing is, is when we teach that to our patients, even in those moments, is that they have those techniques when those thoughts arise in their future and we're not there. We plant a seed Breathing is something that they'll always have with them so they could do that even on the ride home or a lot of different places Again, it just helps with those that overall enhancing overall well being and I think that is our mission as nurses, right? to To find ways to help ourselves to help each other just be better humans to be healthier mind, body, and spirit. So benefits to all of this are obvious. Reduced anxiety, depression, and stress contributing just better to a better emotional health and then self efficacy by challenging and changing negative thoughts. We can develop that stronger belief in our ability to manage our circumstances and for our patients to manage their health and make those positive changes. We get better health outcomes that way. Positive and realistic mindset. Transcripts can lead to again, better adherence to treatment plans, leaders, positive and realistic mindsets, realistic can lead to better workplaces and buy in to your vision. also, healthier lifestyle choices, overall improved health outcomes, overall organizational goal outcomes. So this plays into that. All things are connected. When I talk about overall well being, I mean financial, I mean social, hobbies, fun, family, faith, all of the things that make you a human are all tied together. So, some things to think about. Hopefully you have some notes on your page, some things to really get curious about in your own life, in your workplace, and for your practice. I hope that that is helpful. If you've enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends, with your colleagues. If you're not a nurse and you're listening to this, I know that you can apply this. If you're an employee or if you're a community member, if you're voting in the next election, you can apply this. It's the same principles to any circumstance that is of the human experience. if you are stuck on something or you want more education, click the link below, schedule your discovery session. We'll get on the phone for 20 minutes or on zoom. Whatever you prefer, and we, I'll give you some resources, get you pointed in the right direction so that you can implement some of these things in a way that will be sustainable and beneficial to you. so to wrap it all up, what I'm saying is that this cognitive restructuring, I put it in a practice called aromacognition, implemented bringing all the things together. But as a nurse coach, this is what we use to help patients and our clients recognize and change thought patterns that might be hindering their well being. I know I started out with victim mentality and I started out with learned really look at that Because all of these techniques will help you break free of that if that is you. And again, I want to support you. I'd love to chat with you if you just want to unpack some of those things of that, those learned thoughts that you have developed over the years, So if you're somebody who's going, I just don't see this ever changing. I don't know why I would work so hard to do that. another reason to schedule a call with me. I'd love to hear your feedback and just unpack that a little bit. Let's get curious I just want to say that your brain is amazing. It's your most powerful tool and you can use it to your benefit. You can use it to make things better for you and the world around you. As you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.