The Toughest Moments: How We Leverage Them for Good

In this episode, Juli Reynolds, a nurse, coach, and aromatherapist, guides listeners through a journey of discovering their extraordinary selves by defaulting to 'yes'. She discusses the struggle of facing emotional and physical challenges, the importance of resilience, and provides practical strategies for overcoming obstacles. 

Drawing inspiration from research and other influencers, she emphasizes the role of the brain in seeking comfort and how to counteract that with resilience and proper mindset. Juli shares personal experiences, highlighting the lessons learned from hiking, and introduces aroma cognition as a tool to enhance focus, clarity, and emotional strength during tough times.

00:00 Introduction to the Extraordinary Journey

00:24 Facing Overwhelming Moments

01:17 Lessons from a Vacation

02:00 Understanding the Brain's Protective Mechanism

02:53 Insights from Research

03:32 Building Resilience Through Challenges

04:31 Practical Strategies for Not Giving Up

06:26 The Power of Journaling

08:58 Breaking Down Big Challenges

10:36 Cultivating Resilience and Growth Mindset

14:11 Leveraging Support Systems

15:33 Aroma Cognition: Enhancing Focus and Clarity

18:45 Creating Rituals for Resilience

19:29 Conclusion: Embracing the Extraordinary

References:

Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds - Clean Edition

The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday (Kindle Edition is best price) 

https://amzn.to/4dPW8eo

Mastery by George Leonard (Best found in a Used Book Store, if you have Audible - it's included in the membership) 

Transcript

0:59

Welcome to another extraordinary week. This is Julie Reynolds and I'm your host ed nurse, coach and aroma therapist. On the journey with you as we seek to default to extraordinary. So defaulting to yes. Is all about your extraordinary self and that's the journey that we are on. And. On that journey. There are moments when life just feels overwhelming and giving up seems like that easy option. Whether it's facing personal struggles or professional challenges, emotional hurdles. The thought of quitting can be really powerful And in those times, We are usually faced with the question of why, why are we doing this to ourselves? Is what we are trying to accomplish really that important. Why am I doing this? What if we had a different thought, what if we had a different way to approach those times? What if we approach those tough times? And saw them actually as opportunities kind of in disguise. And what if instead of surrendering, we find a way to push through and come out on the other side. Those are the questions that I've been dealing with. And this week I've been on vacation from my job and we have been taking some time to. Explore of some waterfalls and state parks and do some hikes. And in my mind, I had chosen some, mild hikes and some moderate hikes, not really understanding. what level that was on the moderate and how steep that was and There's a whole lot of lessons learned in this week. About preparing for the journey about setting realistic expectations about breaking things in smaller manageable pieces. And really just about learning from when it gets tough or when it's, when things get hard. Now when we face difficulties, our brains are wired to seek comfort and avoid pain. And this happens if you are trying to up level on your exercise, I would say that's a really good thing to think about. Or if you are trying to lose weight or get fit, all of those things involve discomfort. According to neuroscience. The brain's primary function is to keep us safe. And which often means steering clear of anything that causes discomfort or distress. And safe, safe means same. And so change is all part of that as well. Our brains. Go into into action. To try to protect us. And this is where that desire to quit comes from our brains are trying to protect us from stress and hardship of Tufts situations. And. I recently, I think I mentioned it before I read the book. Can't hurt me by David Goggins. And then I started listening to some of the interviews with him and just diving into his message and. If you ever want to really. Hear a story that makes that, that will pale any hardships of challenges that you face. As far as when you want to push yourself or see what you're capable of. Read his book because. It gives you a lot of material for your brain to work with there. So the, the man is relentless. So. The going back to the brain. Our brains again, are trying to protect us from stress and hardship when things get tough and this protective mechanism can be very limiting and it's during, because it's, during those challenging times that we grow the most. Pushing through our difficulties strengthens our resilience and it develops character. It builds that confidence needing to tackle the future obstacles. When you finish a tough course. Or Tough hike, you know that you can do it. And so when you set out to do another one, you know that you've done it before and you have that past. David Goggins CA calls it a cookie jar to pull from. But you have that past experience, you know, you can do it so you can do it again. That's the key to understanding how to harness that potential and not let that fear of discomfort. Hold us back. We know that discomfort is temporary and so we can get through it and we can do hard things. But we need to be able to answer the why question too. So I want to go over just a little framework for not giving up. And I've really exercised this when we were out walking or doing hikes or an incline that was uncomfortable. Or when we, when it got really hot and I just wanted to. Call cut it short. All of those things are just training grounds for the way that we can manage our brain for managing Tough times and doing things to find out really what we're capable of and defaulting to our extraordinary selves. So it helps stay the course when times get tough. I like to put in some practical strategies and the science of resilience. I read a lot of books and I pick up a lot of quotes and I try them out to see if my brain will accept them when things get tough. And some of them are just over positive and my brain just. Explain some away. So this is really a personal journey and I've learned that through coaching and aroma cognition, the thoughts that we choose and the climb that we, that. That cognitive climb that we go on when we want to change our thoughts. From thoughts that are disempowering and hold us back to the ones that will help us, I've been calling it a climb because sometimes it's not, it's just, you don't arrive at that first perfect thought or the thought that you, that is ideal for you. In the first try. So, first of all, acknowledging the challenge first that's the first step in overcoming any obstacles? Just acknowledging awareness is key. It's essential to recognize that what you're facing is difficult and that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up. It means understanding the reality of the situation and preparing yourself to tackle it head on. Again, acceptance doesn't mean giving up. preparing yourself to tackle that. Head-on sometimes require stepping back and getting information. one of the power tools. That you can put in place for this is journaling. Writing down your thoughts and emotions and fears. Related to the challenge, what things are holding you back and really discovering where your brain is going, that will help you process your feelings and provide clarity on what you need to do next. And if you're not a journaler, I need to tell you that there are no rules to journaling. Just pick up a paper, a notepad, a napkin, anything that you can to just get your thoughts down. I like to use composition books and a lot, because if I buy a beautiful journal, I'm more likely to protect that space and think that I have to, my mind kind of goes into wanting to write something very significant And if anybody ever reads it, I have all those thoughts about when I pick up a beautiful journal to write in. Is it a keeper? And I like to journal in a way that it would be okay for me just to rip out a page and throw it away anytime I want, or when I ramble on, on the page. knowing that I may not ever read it again. And so having something more disposable and not Such a sacred space is key for me with journaling. Another thing as bullet points. You don't have to write anything out and no one else is going to read it. So you don't have to spell things correctly. Your grammar doesn't have to be great. Just mine dump, onto the page. Again, there are no rules. Some people do it all and they draw pictures and they color. There are all different ways. What you're doing is just getting those thoughts, writing those thoughts and emotions down so that you can see really be aware of what your brain is. What those messages are. Okay. So. First step is acknowledged the challenge. There's a really good book on this called the obstacle is the way I will put it in the show notes. And it's really calls attention to a normal process of having a win and then plateauing, and what you do in the plateau. And most of us don't plan for the process. Of mastery and we don't plan for those things. The times that are going to be really super slow growth, because it's not very exciting and it's not very motivating, but if you can acknowledge it as being just a reality, Then you, when you hit that plateau, you can enjoy it and you can celebrate. That you did the climb up to that plateau. And now it's time to anchor in the, that mastery. and that's all part of the second step is breaking it down. Big challenges can feel insurmountable, which is why breaking them down into smaller manageable tasks is crucial and this approach helps make that process less daunting and gives you that clear roadmap to follow. So you want to start by identifying specific steps that you need to take. Prioritize them and set realistic deadlines for each. And then you can focus one step at a time and you'll be able to make steady progress without feeling overwhelmed. This also gives you little breaks in the process to reevaluate and change your timeline. Change some of the steps, add some steps. When we set out to do our two were of Tennessee waterfalls, I was a little ambitious on how many we could take in a day. So after day one I fell actually, and which resulted in having to go get Spencer, my son as a new pair of glasses. And we had to take some time away from that. So we had to regroup and kind of reorganize. Some of our strategy on how we were going to complete that. Waterfall loop over time. So that's why breaking it down into manageable tasks. Is crucial. Because even though we didn't make it, the whole Tennessee waterfall loop this week, We did part of it and we did what we could and then with a plan to go back and pick up some of that. So. So it just extended our plan to complete that Tennessee waterfall loop over, over time. The third is cultivate resilience. And I know there there's a lot of baggage around the word resilience sometimes, especially in healthcare, because it's almost used as It's almost used as a weapon against us to build resilience. Instead of a lot of organizations will encourage more resilience and building resilience in for their employees instead of adjusting the environment. And so that it doesn't require so much resilience, but regardless resilience is a good thing. And so we could probably change our thoughts around that as well. But again, that's a mindset. Resilience is really just the ability to bounce back from adversity. And so let's take that back for ourselves as a good thing and even if the word resilience doesn't resonate with you or brings up too much. That you can't get past to think about growth mindset and believing that you can improve and adapt that all plays a significant role in developing that. That strength and that resilience, when you view challenges as opportunities for growth, you're more likely to persevere through them. So I could look at my, some of my experiences on the trail this week as defeat. I could look at that as I really shouldn't have no business doing some of these bigger hikes. Maybe I'm just not a hiker or maybe I'm just not the person that can can take on those challenges. Or I can look at them as opportunities for what kind of shoes do I need. What kind of trails should I start with? What kind of preparation do I need to be able to strengthen and build the endurance to do some of the trails that I would really like to do. And all of this. You can do through really improving your self-talk Remind yourself again, of the past challenges that you've overcome and how they made you stronger. I always go back to the time I went on a hike with two of my friends in salt lake city. And. They were a little more advanced and prepared than I was. I didn't when I went on the trip, I didn't plan. I didn't have the right clothes. I was in jeans, which you probably shouldn't hike in jeans. So there were a lot of things that I could have done differently on that hike, but I made it, I made it all the way to the top. not to say I didn't there weren't tears along the way. I, but. The view. And just having done it was so worth it. And so I was thinking about. It's going to be over. So when I'm doing a challenge or a tough workout, It's going to be over and I'm going to feel so much better. And I've had just enough experience with that now that I can say that to myself and my brain believes it because I've had that experience. And I do the rest of the day. I will feel better. And it's a relatively short period of time that I will be uncomfortable as long as I am keeping myself safe, but I can embrace the idea. That every setback is a setup for a comeback. So I, yes, I had a fall and we had to stop and we had to get glasses and recoup and process emotionally. What happened? And nobody, fortunately, nobody was injured. just a pair of broken glasses and a cut. At a cut of it. I was, I guess. we haven't experienced that. We can go back. And evaluate and. And kind of set us up for a comeback. So we have acknowledging the challenge, breaking it down. Cultivating that growth mindset and then leveraging support systems. You don't have to go through. Tough times alone. Lean on your support systems, friends, family, mentors, colleagues. Get yourself a coach. talking to someone you trust can provide that fresh perspective and emotional support that you need to keep going. I can't even tell you how many times that I've said it to my coach or. Or my clients have said it to me is that in one conversation you can learn so much about what your brain is telling you or what you're thinking. And you can change that, transform that thought and change your life. It's. Seems so simple when I say it. But it really is just that simple as having that really being open and authentically. Curious And leaning on that support system. I know that if I had done any of those blocks or hikes this week by myself, I probably would never have done another one again. So don't hesitate to help Ask for help, whether it's you're asking for advice or a listening ear or helping hand. reaching out to others can make a significant difference in your ability to push through tough times. And this is also how we network with other people and learn things that we didn't know before, or we didn't know. We didn't know. Just by getting hold of those expertise. Now I've mentioned aroma cognition, and that's the practice of using specific. Sense or at Roma's to influence cognition and mood, and it can be a powerful tool to help you stay motivated and focused during challenging times. And. I know a lot of my listeners are familiar with aroma therapy and you can really use that as a powerful tool. as part of your resilience building toolkit. Now, first of all, it helps boost the mood. Certain aromas have been scientifically proven to lift your spirits and reduce stress. For example. Citrus since like lemon or orange. Are known to promote feelings of happiness and energy and lavender and camomile are more calming and stress relieving. And these are chemistry profiles that we can pay attention to as well. And he oils that are high in Lima. Nene are going to be very refreshing. Any oils that are high in linalool are going to be very calming. by simply using oils in a diffuser or applying them topically during moments of stress and fatigue, that right aroma can help you reset your mindset and renew that determination to keep going. Now, when we meet, when I do coaching aroma cognition coaching, we actually do that cognitive climb. We choose the thought they, the client chooses the thought that they really want to have. We identify the steps that they need to get there. And the aroma that's going to anchor that thought into their. Into their life. And it's amazing the results that we're seeing. And I know this has been a powerful tool in my life, and I love having the opportunity to share it. So if you're curious, just click the link below and schedule a 20 minute chat with me and I'll at least point you to some of the resources and we'll see what might work to get you on the path to understanding how to use this tool for yourself. Now. Along with boosting mood and aromas also help. To enhance focus and clarity. because when you're feeling overwhelmed, it's really easy to lose focus and to decide to do something else or. Get or start to procrastinate or Roman cognition can help regain mental clarity and concentration aromas like Rosemary and peppermint. Are known for cognitive enhancing property is making them. Really ideal for when you need to stay sharp and stay focused and stay on track. So you could, again, diffuse oils in your workspace are using rum. A therapy inhaler is one of my very favorite tools. When you need a mental boost and this can help you stay on track and maintain momentum as you work through your challenges. I've been using time blocks and during those focus blocks, I have my focus inhaler. that's something that's Doesn't require setup. It's sitting right on my desk. I can just inhale that oil. If I start to feel my mind wandering, or I start to feel a little fatigued. Along with going for walks and scheduling in breaks. But these are short bursts of focus. that, in targeting. I have specific task with, and then creating a ritual. So. Incorporating aroma cognition into a daily ritual. Can also provide that sense of stability and comfort. Especially during those tough times, this ritual can be come a cue for your brain to switch into resilient problem solving mode. So you might want to create a morning or evening routine that includes the use of your selected essential oils. Whether it's during meditation or journaling you could do this in your car. Even in those times of transition between work and home. It's a ritual that you can set up to help you cultivate that mindset that you really want to have and train your brain to cooperate with you so that you can show up in the world in the way that you really want to. So quitting is easy. And quitting is comfortable sometimes, but not for the long haul when you're playing the long game. Quitting. Isn't always the easy and comfortable thing. We're going to pay the price later by not getting our goals and maybe having regrets. But pushing through those tough times, that's what leads to growth and success. And that's what gets us to extraordinary. By acknowledging the challenge, breaking it down into manageable steps, cultivating that resilient mindset and leveraging your support systems. You can overcome even the most daunting obstacles. And with that added power of aroma cognition, you have an extra tool. To help you stay motivated, focused, and positive and determined on your journey. Remember the toughest moments are often the ones that shape us most. Don't give up on yourself. You've come too far to stop now. And the best is yet to come. As you get up every day and default to your extraordinary self.