Living in the Moment

In this episode the focus is on living in the moment and how to balance past experiences, present engagement, and future aspirations. We explore the importance of mindfulness practices, like breathwork and journaling, that help reduce stress and enhance emotional well-being. Techniques such as the 4-7-8 breathing method are discussed as tools to anchor oneself in the present, providing psychological and physical benefits. Emphasizing that mindful living improves relationships, productivity, and life satisfaction, the episode encourages listeners to practice staying present and to embrace life as it unfolds.

00:00 Introduction to Living in the Moment
00:13 The Mental Tug of War: Past vs. Future
01:28 Mindful Practices for Staying Present
05:55 The Science and Benefits of Breathwork
08:07 Practical Breathing Techniques: 4-7-8 Method
11:50 Reflecting on the Past for Growth
17:03 Journaling and Goal Setting for Mindfulness
18:21 The Importance of Being Present
19:36 Conclusion: Embracing the Present

Breathing Technique: 4-7-8 Method

The 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise is utterly simple, takes almost no time, requires no equipment and can be done anywhere. Although you can do the exercise in any position, sit with your back straight while learning the exercise. Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth, and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth around your tongue; try pursing your lips slightly if this seems awkward.

1) Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
2) Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
3) Hold your breath for a count of seven.
4) Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
5) This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

Note that you always inhale quietly through your nose and exhale audibly through your mouth. The tip of your tongue stays in position the whole time. Exhalation takes twice as long as inhalation. The absolute time you spend on each phase is not important; the ratio of 4:7:8 is important. If you have trouble holding your breath, speed the exercise up but keep to the ratio of 4:7:8 for the three phases. With practice you can slow it all down and get used to inhaling and exhaling more and more deeply.

Dr. Weil explains how to do his 4-7-8 breathing technique.
Relaxing Breathing Exercise:

Transcript

0:59

Welcome to another Extraordinary Week. I hope that you are feeling encouraged and inspired and all the things. We're going to talk about how to stay present in the moment and to live in the moment. Today, Many of us spend a significant amount of time either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, whether it's replaying old mistakes or things that happened to us that caused us pain, maybe working on reshaping the way we're thinking about the world and the way we view the world and the way we view life, which is all worth examining. Thank you. Or maybe we're fixing on what might happen tomorrow. Maybe we have big dreams and visions and goals, and we just are always living there. This constant mental tug of war pulls us away from the present moment and rumination over the past can keep us stuck in a cycle of regret and self blame while holding those future dreams can sometimes slip into anxiety of the unknown or uncertainty or a discouragement over not having it now. So striking a balance between learning from the past and planning for the future and staying grounded in the now is really the key to living that the life that we want to be living. So how do we honor both our experiences and aspirations while cultivating that sense of peace? In the present, the answer lies in mindful practices that allow us to process the past pain and set future goals and stay anchored in the moment. And today we're going to explore that, how the benefits of living in the moment and I'm going to talk about some tools that are helpful to me and are helpful to some other people that I have talked to some clients, patients, even going to talk about some breathing techniques. Yes, we're going to talk about journaling again, goal setting, all to help us balance that past, present, and future. These aren't just practices for the sake of practices. Personal growth practices can sometimes, we can sometimes do them for the sake of doing them, but they have a purpose. There is a reason why we have discovered that these things are effective for bringing it all together. This is going to help us look forward with optimism, look back for lessons and fully engage in the present, where we can experience the peace and the progress that we're really, that we really desire. This is all part of training our brains to cooperate with us so that we can show up in the world and the way we really want to. First, let's talk about the benefits of living in the moment and how to cultivate that living in the moment is often described as a key to more fulfilling life. And Again, while many of us are drawn into worrying about the future or ruminating on the past, embracing the present is where we will find that wealth of psychological and physical benefits. Research suggests that those who practice mindfulness and the art of staying present experience reduced stress and Improved emotional regulation and enhanced life satisfaction. Living in the moment involves being mindful and fully engaging in what is happening right now. I know that in my, especially, I would say probably my work life is where I experience it the most. I can be thinking so much about what's Where I would rather be that I'm not fully engaging in what's happening now and the humans that are around me or in front of me now. And I know that I miss out because when I do that, I have a better day. I can hope for the future. I can pull from lessons from the past at the same time and let it inform my present, but actually engage there and not miss some of the treasures that are right there in front of me. A 2010 study published found that people spend 47 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they're doing. This mind wandering was correlated with unhappiness. And In contrast, being present is linked with greater happiness because it reduces the feelings of anxiety and depression while boosting the positive emotions and mental clarity. Now, mindfulness based practices are also shown to increase gray matter density in areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and self referential processing. And this means that The more we practice staying present, the better we become at managing stress and making more thoughtful decisions. So you can see that if we are staying present, we are probably going to be more likely to create those future visions and take action on those. Without leaving the present moment, we can plan for the future. We can probably process those lessons a little bit better, bringing them forward for our good. And to be able to really answer some of those questions about what does this make possible about the past? There's, I have a plaque on my desk that my son gave me, and it just says, what am I doing? And it's a very good question to ask, and I keep it right in front of me because sometimes when in my during my, uh, my office days, I can get distracted and go down paths of researching a topic that isn't, isn't relevant to me. really necessary, just interesting. And I can get off focus and then I don't get the things done that I want to get done, or I don't stay present in that moment. So what am I doing is just that really good question. So I've got this plaque on my, on my desk that reminds me to ask that question, especially when my mind starts to wander. I want to bring up a, A tool that I use, um, it's simple. You always have it with you and it's the power of breathing. It just helps calm the mind and body. It reduces anxiety and allows you to tap into the present. Breathwork is an ancient practice that's grounded in just that regulating the breathing patterns and it's increasingly recognized. in both modern science and traditional therapies as a really powerful tool for mental, emotional, physical well being. And the science of breathwork is really intricately linked to our autonomic nervous system, which regulates the involuntary body functions, such as like heartbeat, digestion, the fight or flight response. And. The ANS has two primary components, and that's the sympathetic nervous system, that fight or flight response and the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes rest and digest and breath work primarily influences these systems through the vagus nerve, which plays a key role in calming the body. Now, so when we experience stress from either ruminating on the past or, uh, regret a past regret, or, uh, Something that we are feeling feeling shame or blame around, or if we're looking to the future and kind of stressing out about how we make these things happen, how do we meet our goals? Our breathing typically becomes during these times become shallow or rapid, and that triggers that sympathetic nervous system that leads to the release of stress hormone like cortisol and adrenaline, and that prepares. That's meant to prepare the body for a perceived threat. However, through conscious breath work, especially practices that involve slower, deeper breaths, we can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts the stress response, promotes that relaxation and reduces the cortisol levels in the heart. I could go into the science and a little bit more about breathwork, and maybe I'll do that on another episode, but all of this allows us to think more clearly and to make good decisions. It allows us to stay present by just really focusing on our breath. Specifically, there's a technique called four, seven, eight breathing. And this is just a simple way to ground yourself in the present moment. This is the technique widely. Widely taught and developed by Dr. Andrew Weil and he teaches a. A lot of holistic techniques, breath work and mindfulness diet, all of the things. I'll include a link we're. Dr. Wilde is actually talking about. About the breath work in the notes. If you want to know the details of it. It, but it's a practice. That has. Profound benefits to our health and wellbeing. Being, and it's super simple. You always have it with you. It's. It's affordable. It's free. So. But it is something that you practice. If you were in the moment, you can, we can. Practice this now I wouldn't recommend doing all four cycles. If you're driving. Driving. If you're doing this for the first time. Some people get lightheaded when they first start. with a breathing technique. But, Super simple, takes 30 seconds to do four cycles of. For seven, eight breathing. And this is how it works. You're going to breathe in through your nose for four seconds. hold your breath for seven seconds, exhale slowly and completely through your mouth for eight seconds. This is going to work again by activating that parasympathetic nervous system that's responsible for rest and digestion which is, again, is going to counter that fight or flight response. The focus on the breath also pulls your mind away from the distractions and brings that attention back to the present. So a regular use of this 478 breathing can reduce stress, improve concentration, and create that greater sense of calm, which will support our ability to live in more fully in the moment. let's, practice this for a second. Or seven, eight breathing, four cycles of that. It. It would take you about a minute and a half if you timed it out by seconds. Does. Your wild teaches, uh, very effectively would just the count of seven. Seven. And that takes, usually we are a little faster than. In seconds. It's amazing. How fast, how slow a second is when you actually. We use the timer. So just again, do a comfortable pace. Of four. To the count of four to the count of seven, to the count of eight. Eight. And do four cycles of that. again, less than two minute practice, you can do this. In your morning routine, your. Uh, one do it and it's an afternoon reset. Maybe before bed to relax you and help you. set the tone for getting to sleep. At night, so. So that that'd be a way that you could use it in your practice. let's give it a try. first of all, just take a slow, deep breath so that you can let it out. And then when we begin to inhale, I'll count for us. All right. So take a deep breath in and blow it out. we're going to breathe in, in for four seconds, 1, 2, 3, 4, and hold it 2, 3, 4. 5, 6, 7, and breathe out 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. And then you can return to normal breathing. So that's about the timing of how it feels to breathe in through your nose for four seconds. Hold it for seven seconds and then exhale slowly and completely through your mouth for eight seconds. Again, this practice works to activate that parasympathetic nervous system and that's going to help us focus. and cultivate that fully living in the moment. Now, reflecting on the past is important for growth. Now, what is, what if there's something in the past that's really, you feel like you shouldn't let it down because when you say, what does this make possible? You know, you could learn from it, or maybe it's just too painful and it was too significant to just let go of. reflecting on the past is important for our growth, but it becomes unhealthy when it turns into rumination. The key to living in the moment is to learn from our experiences without getting stuck in them. Instead of allowing past mistakes or traumas to dominate your thinking, view them as lessons that inform your present choices. These are things that happen. To you, maybe they're happening and maybe you tell yourself a different story. maybe they happened for you. I know a lot of people that have made, and I'm sure you do too, that have, Past traumas, past hurts, past experiences that they have turned into their purpose. And so that's what I mean about what if the things that happened to you are actually happening for you. Maybe this is equipping you to serve in the world in the way you're meant to. Regardless, this allows you to look back with clarity and extract those valuable insights. So then moving forward, you can move forward with a positive outlook and a, and some, and a little more purpose. and then there are some things, that just hurt and we, and they're part of our human experience. How do we incorporate those into the whole beautiful, painful experience of life? and find the value in those. Again, what does this make possible? And what does this make beautiful? past is our story and we can live in that and we can embrace it. We can reflect on it and grow from it, but we don't want to get stuck there. Similarly, worrying about your future can rob you of today's peace. When we live too far in the future, we can feel overwhelmed by uncertainty. I get here a lot with my business goals I want to make an impact. I want to know, I want to use the skills and do the thing that I feel called to do. And I want to meet the people that I meant to help and serve. I'm thinking about that all of the time. How do I get to that place that I want to be? those mindful practices such as breathing exercises and journaling helped me to stay grounded because by focusing on what we can control right now. We can mitigate any unnecessary anxiety and cultivate a sense of optimism and readiness for what is to come. I already mentioned that I just spent a lot of time sitting with my husband in the hospital and in this recovery process, some of the things are that are, that I thought I would be doing or, the projects that I had in the works needed to sit there and there was something more important to me that required my attention. Now, I could be thinking about all the things on my goal board, um, I could be thinking about when am I going to get these things done? But that doesn't serve me well. And so, by focusing on what I can control right now. And on honoring that this is, this is a choice, and this is where I prefer to be, and this is where I need to be. Because life is like that. there are curves that we don't get to see around. Sometimes there are bumps in the road that throw us off track. And, it's really in how we view them, right? So the, whether we view life as happening to us or for us, and that this is part of the journey, that some of my goals may never happen. Maybe it's about working on them. Maybe this, this goal that I have keeps me moving forward. And I'm learning and growing and experiencing the things. And maybe it turns out to look completely different than I planned. That's okay. Because what I really want, and this is really kind of important. And we talk about this in coaching is really defining what you really want. As opposed to maybe this goal that you have or what you think it looks like. What is it that you want to feel more of? And what are those values that you want to hold to? Who are you becoming? So those are a way to let go of worrying because things are going to happen. painful things. We are going to face loss. We are going to face pain. We are going to face persecution. Even it's a whole part of life. And as we, and we really, none of us can get out of it. So embracing it as that whole human experience and what does it make possible? What am I doing? Who do, who am I becoming? Those are all very good questions to keep in touch with. And I, a lot of times we'll do that, just we'll bring myself back to that with breath work. Now, journaling and goal writing for tool as tools for mindfulness. Those are other powerful tools that will help you stay present. Sometimes by writing down your thoughts and emotions, you give yourself an opportunity to process and just release them. Journaling helps declutter the mind and shift our focus from what happened or what might happen. To what is happening right now, research from the university of Rochester medical center suggests that journaling can help reduce anxiety, boost mood and strengthen emotional intelligence. In addition to journaling, writing down your goals provides that clarity and helps you stay connected to the present. There's something magical about that hand brain connection, about putting all of that together. you write your goals, you define your intentions. When you set And you said a clear path forward, this act of goal setting shifts your focus from distant some days to tangible steps that you can take now, enabling that forward momentum without being overwhelmed by the future. So that means that you have this. This vision for the future, and then you have it broken down into small steps and you're just focused on the goals. What are the skills that you're building? What are the things you're learning? What are you reading? All of those things are things that we can stay present without neglecting our future and who we're becoming and the place where and the direction that we're going Other reasons why staying present is helpful is it just not only fosters that inner peace, but it improves relationships. you can probably think about somebody who is always dwelling on the past or always worrying about the future. They're not present. So you can't interact with them in a way that you really want to. And it's the same thing with us. If our minds are on the future or on the past, we're not there with the humans that are in front of us. And I was talking about that earlier with work. I noticed that at work, my day is better no matter what comes at it. If I am present and I'm interacting right there. where I am instead of thinking about when I get off work or where I would rather be. So. Improves relationships, boosts productivity, and just deepens our life satisfaction. When we're fully engaged in the moment, we're more attentive to the people around us, more creative in our work, and more grateful for the small joys that enrich our daily lives. Those things that we can miss if we're not paying attention. So living in the moment is a choice. It's a choice to say yes to the present. And engage with life as it unfolds. So the next time that you find yourself drifting into the past regrets or future worries, try using that four, seven, eight breathing and bring your focus back. Write your goals down, reflect on what truly matters and give yourself the gift of being fully alive right there and right now. Balancing a vision for the future with healing from the past while staying present is a practice of mindful living, and it involves embracing all of those lessons from the past without allowing them to dictate your life and setting a clear vision for the future without being consumed by it and focusing on the present moment where the true peace and growth occur. A helpful quote to remind you of this balance. You could put this in your phone to remind you. I like to set reminders in the morning when my alarm goes off in the morning. I have, there's a quote there that represents my intention for the day. In the afternoon, I might have a quote, something that reminds me of how I want to show up today. the past is your lesson, the present is your gift, and the future is your motivation. up, set yourself up to be reminded that that's, that you want to be present. It could be as simple as just, Stay present, breathe by learning from the past, enjoying the present and being inspired by the future, you can create a life that is rich in meaning, peace and progress as you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.