Change Your Thought, Change Your Life

In this episode, we reflect on the importance of aligning thoughts with personal values. Juli shares her systematic approach to changing unhelpful thought patterns. By understanding the role of the brain in forming these patterns, recognizing limiting beliefs, and challenging their validity, we can create and reinforce new, empowering thoughts. Juli shares personal insights and practical steps, such as journaling, visualization, and affirmations, to rewire the brain through neuroplasticity. The episode emphasizes the significance of patience, consistent practice, and a support system in making sustainable changes.

If you would like additional support to change the thoughts and inner narrative blocking your goals, or making you doubt yourself, schedule a chat with me and we can work through it together! 

Transcript

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Welcome to another extraordinary week. This week I've been thinking a lot and reflecting and thinking through apps of hypotheticals and putting, trying to put myself in other people's shoes in more noticeable way. And it might just be because also because I'm journaling about all of that, because I really want to test my values and see if I am aligned with my values. I've given myself hypothetical situations Deciding what I would do if just to align with my values is probably all of this is what has drawn me also to coaching because I like to think and create and learn. And the coaching is that process, and it's not all based on me having the right answers. It's trusting that the answers are there if we dig deep enough. And so I want to talk today about how we change a thought that isn't serving us and just. how I work a systematic approach to rewriting my inner narrative. And this is not an easy thing to do, there are coaches that can help you. There are therapists that can help you do this. So not everyone has to master this skill. You can also outsource this. And so I love that, but today I'm going to Take you through my process, because our thoughts really shape our reality. So considering a belief like I had at one point, it showed up in my journal. My thought was no matter how hard I work, it's never really going to matter. And this thought is a lot of times comes out of childhood conditioning or repeated patterns that can feel so ingrained that it seems unchangeable. And What we know now in neuroscience and psychology has shown us that thoughts are a little more malleable than we maybe were taught to think at one time. By systematically addressing and reshaping some of those beliefs that don't serve us or hold us back, we can create more empowering narratives that lead to sustainable change. And that's really what my aromacognition practice is all about. I'm going to make. the book available soon. There's a course available. You can click the link below and schedule a console if you're curious about how you use aromatherapy to condition some of these thoughts and go through this process. But first of all, we'd need to understand the role of the brain in thought patterns. And the human brain is a powerful tool that we have, and it's designed to adapt and learn. despite what maybe you've been taught or what it feels like. From birth, we are wired based on experiences, especially during childhood, when neural pathways are most malleable. This wiring often solidifies then into automatic thoughts or default modes. And that those default modes reflect our early environment. And so if you were consistently criticized or overlooked as a child, your brain might have formed a belief that your efforts don't matter. If you were somehow made to believe that your the only is good at your last at bat, this might, this thought could surface. And I'm not saying that I know for sure that's what happened with my brain, somewhere that thought anchored, because I'm noticing that showing up for me more than what I was recognizing and more than I was aware of. And just through journaling, I've excavated that really is a, That's something that I think often that I didn't recognize. Now, the brain operates on a principle called neuroplasticity. We've talked about that before, and I'm sure that you're not new to that. It's the ability to rewire itself throughout our lives. And while old thought patterns may feel automatic, they're not. permanent. So by consciously engaging in a new thought process, you can form healthier neural pathways over time. One of the conversations that I had this week was about a seasonal affective disorder. It wasn't something that was diagnosed, but it was something that my friend was telling herself that this is just, she's going to get depressed because now it's always dark. And I asked her if she wanted to meet with me and challenge that thought, because I've had that conversation multiple times. In the past few weeks of people just dreading the season change. And that, when we go to work, it's dark when we come home, it's dark. And that can cause us to have some different feelings during this season, some lower feelings. And if we want to change that, We can. So we can form a healthier neural pathway if we choose to in virtually any thought pattern that we have. So first of all, it's first idea is to understand the role the brain plays in thought patterns. And then second, to recognize the thought and its impact. And that is key if we don't know it's there and we don't understand how it's affecting us, we're not going to address it, obviously. The first step to changing anything is awareness. So we need to notice that there's a limiting belief arising and how it affects you. You can ask yourself a couple of questions. So I might ask, where does this thought come from? That's not an easy one to answer, but you might have an experience. If you sit with that for a little bit, you might be able to go back to a time when you first had it. It's amazing how the brain can do that if you let it. Now, the other question you can ask is how does it make me feel? What actions or inactions does it lead to, for example, the thought will use my thought, no matter how hard I work, it will never really matter. It might leave. me feeling defeated, demotivated, little resentful, which in turn leads to procrastination and disengagement. And I might just decide to give up. So there's a cycle that I've recognized for me as trying hard and giving up. And I think that's where this, it's this thought that leads to that behavior pattern. And and so I might start something or have a really great idea that I'm really excited about, and then I get past the newness and the excitement over it. And then this thought pops up and I think, why would I work this hard if it's not going to matter anyway. It was holding me back. Again, notice how you feel. How does, what actions does it lead to, and how does it make you feel? Where does it come from? Those are all really good questions. And then, of course, the third step, then, is to challenge the thought. Once you've identified that thought it's time to question its validity. Is it true? Limiting beliefs often thrive on cognitive distortions, like over general generalization or emotional reasoning. So ask yourself, is this belief 100 percent true? Would I be able to say to someone who doesn't know me or somebody who knows me no matter how hard I work, it will never really matter? Is that going to be true? true to them? Do I have evidence for that? Is it true? And then can I think of examples where my hard work did matter? So challenge that thought. What evidence supports or contradicts this thought? Journaling that is a really powerful experience in itself. for instance, you might recall a time when your efforts helped someone or helped a colleague, helped a friend, helped a neighbor, improved a process, or led to personal growth. And it's these moments that challenge the belief and create cracks in its foundation. Then step four is to create that new empowering thought and replacing that old thought with the one that is more constructive and aligning with your goals. The new thought doesn't have to be overly optimistic, but it should be believable. and empowering. So for example, the old thought, no matter how hard I work, it will never really matter. The new thought is my hard work has made a difference before, and even small contributions can have ripple effects. So then you write that thought down that new thought and revisit it often. And this is the process that I teach in aromacognition, where we really do, we have a whole practice that we design around really conditioning the brain to take hold of the new thought and climbing out of the old thought into a new thought, into a better thought until we get into the, where we get to the impact that it can make. Now, step five is reinforcing that new thought through the action. So thoughts alone aren't enough. Actions solidify change. So we need to start looking then for opportunities to act in ways that align with your new belief. if I'm working on believing that my efforts matter, then I need to actively seek feedback or reflect on the outcomes of my work and document my wins, no matter how small those are. This goes in my journal. And these are things that I share with my accountability group on Saturday so that when I start to have this thought, if they notice it, they can remind me. So the other thing is that your brain will start to look for those wins and will start to look for evidence to support the new thought. Your brain has had years and years of practice finding evidence to support the old thought, and you didn't even know it. So now you can put it to work finding evidence for the contrary. Now, step six is you using repetition and practice. So any sustained change requires repetition. The brain strengthens neural pathways that are used frequently. we've heard for all of our lives, we've heard practice makes perfect. practice may not make perfect, but it does bring progress. So techniques that help to reinforce the change. Again, journaling, writing about the moments when your efforts have had a positive impact. I journal a lot in the Growth Day app. And I love this app because when I journal about something, There are, it will automatically curate a list of resources maybe videos, maybe YouTube videos articles, different resources that will help me address the things that I've written in my journal. And it's the only tool that I know that actually will do that. I love that because then I can write out. I can notice the things that are going on in my brain. I can celebrate my wins and reflect on that. But then I have resources to listen to through the day and to visit in that week to reinforce the new thought I want to have. And so if you want to try the Growth Day app, click below. It is something that I'm including in the cost of my coaching, because it's that just that significant. another technique is visualization. Imagine yourself succeeding and making a difference through your work. Close your eyes and picture it happening, how it feels, how it looks, who's there what kind of, what room are you in all of those things, visualization is just really helpful. Affirmations is another technique that you can use just repeating the new thought every day. I like to put it in my phone and set alarms so that when my alarm, that alarm goes off, it just triggers me to think that thought because I've written it right in the alarm. So you know, in your phone, you can name the alarms. So name your alarm, whatever triggers a word that triggers that thought or put the whole thought in and so that your alarm goes off and your thought appears on your phone. And it reminds you to just bring that forward again. And especially when the old, those old thoughts try to resurface, you'll notice, Oh, it's That's a play again, and I need to bring it back. All right. Step seven is to address underlying emotional triggers. Now, sometimes beliefs are tied to unresolved, resolved emotions, and they might be tied to relationships. So if your limiting thought stems from childhood experiences, there might be some inner work that may be needed to heal. That's when we can reach out and find those resources. Coaching, therapy mindfulness, breath work, all of those can help you process and release those emotions, making it easier to embrace the new belief. I asked my clients all to develop a practice that, That puts this addresses underlying emotional triggers and to reset those and It's not this, it's not a one size fits all for everyone. Some people choose different things to do. And it can be as easy as just developing a walk, walking ritual or so that you go on a walk and you're intentional about leaving your phone behind and really getting in touch with those emotions and resetting. So whatever that is. address those underlying emotional triggers, So that's the seven, probably seven steps. If I had to name the steps, those would be how I would. What my process is and the process that is pretty consistent with coaching and with the aromacognition practice. Now making change sustainable is really the goal, right? You don't want just a temporary relief and then you slide back into your old patterns. Sustaining the transformation requires a lot of patience and self compassion. earlier I said that it's not practice makes perfect, it's practice makes progress. So the brain's default mode doesn't shift overnight, but with consistent effort, a new thought can become your norm. So to change momentum, again, celebrate progress. Acknowledge even those small shifts in thinking or behavior, and take a moment even right now to see where are the small wins that you are taking for granted, the things that you're proud of that you don't tell other people about, but you have that little bit of joy that comes up. When you have done something or thought something or you did something that seemed to make an impact or change somebody's day or change your day, celebrate that progress. That's again, where the coming to the end of the day, maybe a nighttime bedtime ritual is to celebrate those small shifts. In your behavior, in your thinking, and how it made a difference for you or for the people around you second, build a support system, share your journey with trusted friends, with a coach, a therapist, all anyone who can encourage and guide you. I have an accountability, group Two other friends that every Saturday morning we get together and We share our journey and we support each other. We've been doing it for over a year and every Saturday morning, and it really makes a difference to know that once a week, someone is going to, I'm going to share with somebody my progress that I've made, the wins, the struggles, I'm going to have someone hold me accountable. I'm going to have that support to make these difficult changes. The other thing is to. As far as maintaining momentum is just stay curious. You want to periodically revisit those thoughts to ensure that they are serving you well. So we don't just choose a new thought, put it in our phone, put it on the wall and stick with it. Growth is a lifelong process. So that thought might evolve. So that also takes the pressure out of. creating that new thought is because that new thought doesn't have to be perfect. And that doesn't need to be permanent. So you're going to stay curious and accept it, that this is a lifelong progress towards defaulting to extraordinary I, Love this work because it makes such a difference. And I'm always surprised in a coaching conversation, how much really deep work that we can do in a short period of time and how The light bulb goes on and it changes everything in a dark spot that you didn't even know, but it's a weight on you. And I know that for me to really get at this thought is making a big difference. And it's bringing clarity to it so that I can share it with my husband. I can share it with my friends. And. And that feels very vulnerable, but when I have shared, I can hear how ridiculous it really is, or how untrue, I don't know, I don't want to say it's ridiculous, but I can hear that thought is not true. And not true all the time. So there are going to be some times that I work really hard and it's not going to seem to make a difference. But even the lessons that I learned along the way make a difference. And so that it never really matters is never going to be true. So changing a thought, no matter how hard I work, it will never really matter is both a challenge and a challenge. An opportunity Now that's the thought for me. What is it for you? I'm going to dare you this week to find out what it is that's holding you back. What is it that causes that emotional trigger when you feel down, when you feel discouraged? What is the thought that you're having? And maybe you'll also unearth a common pattern in your thinking or a thought like I did to notice that this is a thought that pops up frequently for me. And so what is it for you by understanding how the brain works and systematically addressing the belief you can rewrite that narrative and come up with something that serves you better With time, repetition, and aligned actions, you can create the new patterns that empower you to live a life where you're showing up in the world the way you really want to, and make the difference that you want them to. All right, until next time, I hope that you will share this episode with someone that you think it might be helpful. Maybe somebody who you can have this conversation with, that you can create that support for yourself. And if you don't have that, reach out to me, I'd love to chat with you. We can chat for just a little bit and I will get you pointed in the right direction to the resources that you are looking for. for the difference that you can make as you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.