Our Love / Hate Relationship with Goals and How to Cultivate Readiness for Lasting Success

In this episode, we explore the complex relationship we have with goals and how assessing our readiness can lead to lasting success.  

We love goals. We hate goals. But when we understand that readiness is everything, we can set our goals - no judgment, hold loosely to the outcome, and always be heading in the direction we WANT to go. 

Maybe it isn't goals that make us hesitate, it may be the risk of failing at meeting the goals that you're not ready for. When we focus on readiness first, everything changes. 

The key isn't to push harder. The key is to get ready the right way.  

If you're ready to stop that cycle of frustration and start setting yourself up for success, join the community, and take that goal-setting readiness quiz to discover where you are on your journey and how to move forward with confidence because goals aren't the enemy. Going in unprepared is, and you don't have to do that anymore. I

Time to set yourself up for the win!  JOIN HERE AND TAKE THE QUIZ

Transcript

0:59

Welcome to another extraordinary week. I'm glad you're here. Thanks for joining in. in my coaching group, we are talking all about goals and I've thought, I want to talk about that today here too. Now, before you tune out, I'm going to share something, a little different take on goals to maybe help persuade some of you who have been avoiding them. Think about it a little bit differently. We've done this before, but I've got another little caveat to introduce to you today and really get you thinking about it because we've all been told that setting goals is the key to success, right? But what if. The timing isn't right. What if the setting the goal prematurely actually sets us up for frustration rather than fulfillment? Most of the time when I'm talking to people about goals, it all comes down to that you don't want to fail and you don't want to feel bad about yourself and you don't want to set yourself up for failure. We don't want to work that hard. There's a lot of different reasons why we don't want to set goals up. But truth is, is that we're heading in some direction anyway. We might as well be intentional about getting where we want to be instead of drifting to where we don't. I don't know if you, how many of you wear trackers, but for fitness and sleep and stress, I wear a Fitbit and it gives you a readiness score the readiness score on the Fitbit is where your body signals, whether you're primed for an intense workout or need a recovery day. Taking in all of the data and being able to predict whether this is a good time to do your workout or not. So your mind, emotions, and circumstances also have a readiness factor when it comes to goal setting. And if you're not prepared in some of the key areas, setting a goal can be like pushing a boulder up the hill rather than building momentum towards success. And I want to talk a little bit about that today, because I think we can. Do some things to set ourselves up for that optimal condition for those goals, just like we do physically for a workout. Because a lot of times we can set goals with enthusiasm only just to struggle with the follow through and the issue really isn't about motivation or your discipline or lack thereof. It's about that readiness. behavioral science tells us that change occurs in stages. And so. Just I'm not going to go into this in detail, but there's a transtheoretical model of change, and this is that evaluating where you are is probably one of the things that you can think about. So pre contemplation is not yet considering a change. So that means you don't even have a goal in mind when we talk about this, you're not thinking about changing. Not even considering it. Then contemplation is when you become aware of a need for change but still kind of uncertain how committed you are or how what your conviction level is on that Now, preparation is a third stage, and that is make when you start to make small shifts and gathering resources to make that change, not yet committed necessarily to making the change, but small shifts are acceptable. And then the action phase is when you actively are changing behavior, and you're really going after it. You know what you want, and you're going actively after it. And then that phase is. kind of what we think about when we think about goals. We think about the change necessary, the habits we have to break or the habits we have to make the work that goes into that. and this is really also where the risk factors. Lie and that the all of the resistance and then we have the fifth is a maintenance phase and that's when we're sustaining new habits over time. Now if we attempt to jump into action without assessing whether we're fully prepared the likelihood of burnout and frustration and failure and all those feelings that we're associating with the word Goal that makes you kind of shy away from that. Now readiness matters because it ensures that we have the mindset and the resources and the systems in place to sustain change. we're going to talk about how to really assess. Uh, your readiness for that change. So first of all is clarity. Do you know why the goal matters to you? And then second of all is belief. Do you believe that this change is possible for you? Emotional readiness. Are you willing to experience some discomfort and and setbacks. Then do you have the support system? Do you have the accountability or encouragement from others? Energy and capacity? Do you have the bandwidth for this change right now? All of these are good questions, ways to just filter this through and see where you are in that change model. And are you ready to set the goal? on social media, you'll see a lot of changes and a lot of transformation promised by various coaches and influencers. And the message is that we can change, we can make big change and in less time than we, we thought possible. And I've done it too. It's a marketing message where we take the. We promote a message of ease in accomplishing a really hard goal because we know that it's possible if we go through the right steps. So I want to say that I would just want to acknowledge that when you set a goal, and especially when it's something that you care about, that there's some hard work involved. There's some effort. There's some resistance. You're going to have to put pressure on yourself. what do they say? It's not easy or. Everyone would be doing it. But the truth is, is that life gets hard and things are hard either way. So it's either hard because of the consequences of not making the change and the regret that goes along with that, or the hard of making a change and getting where you want to. So drifting where you don't want to be, and that's hard. it might feel like the path of least resistance, but in the end, is it really? So those are things to, to ask yourself as you really entertain the word goal again. So goals are really just a kind of a compass, points you to the direction in which you want to go. But these are things that we have to evaluate. When I first started in, in network marketing, my coach and my mentors would tell me that all I had to do is show up and I would succeed. They said that the only way that I would fail is if I quit. I was selling essential oils. I still sell essential oils. I love essential oils. And I see that as a service and which is why I got into it in the first place. I think everyone should have essential oils in their home. But just inviting people in when they didn't even know what an essential oil was, to show them that they need it first and then the, the massive amount of benefits that it is to have essential oils in your home so that you're always ready for whatever comes your way, health wise, emotionally, um, all the things that aromatherapy and essential oils provide. Okay. So that I'm passionate about it. I love it. Essential oils do, when you're exposed to them, once you can get somebody to try them, they do sell themselves. That is all true. But it was hard. I have to schedule classes. I have to go to events. I'd have to do a lot of time reaching out to people, inviting them, putting the message out there, following up. All of those things take time and they, you get a lot of no's. So, we would even have no challenges, like go out there and collect as many rejections as you can. Well, that's not easy work. That's hard work. And that. It was, is never really the message. We don't say, Hey, come join me and you're going to have to work really hard and spend some time. You're going to have to meet up with some resistance and you're going to have to change your mind. You're going to have to learn some new skills. You're going to have to write things down. You're Nobody does that. Nobody wants to accept an invitation to work harder and to do more things and to apply yourself and especially not to change Mindset work alone is hard, but. We do it, right? Because we know you if you're listening to this, you're somebody who wants to be your best. You want to summon the best of yourself. And the only way to do that is to have some goals and to apply yourself in that. But there's a better way to do that. And that's by measuring readiness before you set that goal. readiness isn't just about answering questions. It's about becoming the person who follows through. So a powerful way to shift identity and readiness is by using, uh, I am becoming someone statements that these help rewire your brain to align with your desired future self. So instead of saying, I need to exercise, say I am becoming someone who moves daily because it makes me feel strong and energized. Instead of saying I should eat healthier, we're going to say. I'm becoming someone who nourishes my body with foods that fuel my goals. And maybe instead of saying, I want to start meditating, say, I am becoming someone who prioritizes mental clarity and peace. because when you become the kind of person who naturally takes these actions needed for your goal, consistency follows. Effortlessly. You start to do things on automatic. You start to have ideas. Your brain starts looking for solutions because it sees it as something that is important to you. And so You don't meet so much resistance in finding solutions. Readiness is also not about waiting for the perfect time. It's about preparing yourself to rise to the occasion. So if you're serious about making some meaningful changes, the first step is assessing where you are right now. Are you ready? That would be the first question that you need to ask. What do you want? Well, I guess you ask, what do you want? And then are you ready for it? I like to use a three part readiness infused goal formula, and that is first, identify your future identity. I am becoming someone who, and then define readiness steps. What habits, mindset shifts, actions will make this possible? What skills do you need to acquire? What support do you need to recruit and then set that aligned goal based on readiness, set the goal that fits that your capacity. So in the case of starting a business, since I started out with that is I want to start instead of saying, I want to start a business, say, try, I am becoming someone who shares valuable insights, builds relationships and takes consistent action. Then some readiness steps would be to identify the strengths, create content, establish some routines, see what is in your schedule and start filling your calendar with things that move you towards that goal. Then you can set the goal to say, I'm going to launch my business in three months with a clear offer and a consistent outreach. So you have that plan in place so that you're more apt to win. You have signaled your, Brain, you've signaled yourself, you put that message out that you are moving in that direction by setting goals in this way, we can ensure that we don't just chase success, you're becoming the person who naturally achieves it. I think too often we set goals out of frustration over maybe it's something that we're not happy with and that we want to change. So we set a goal to change it without really giving it the thought it deserves. We, set goals out of pressure or comparison, um, pushing forward, even when we're running on empty. I can't even count how many times I've set a goal to lose weight without considering having the foods that I need. having the time to exercise on my calendar, all of those things. I just set the goal. I'm going to start this on Monday and I have no plan. Well, I'm setting myself up for failure. My ready score was zero and I had no business even trying until I went through some of these processes. because true success isn't just about reaching that finish line. It's about becoming someone who thrives along the way. So again, when you build that readiness into your goals, you don't just chase that outcome. You create a lifestyle that supports lasting change. And in that journey, then you can find the joy and you can stay present and mindful and build those relationships for what they are and not, and then you could hold looser to the outcome. People used to say that to me all the time when I first started in learning business is that hold loosely to the outcome. And to me, I didn't really even understand what that meant because no one was taking me through the process. So maybe this is your time to not just set a goal, but to get the goal to step into that next version of yourself, a stronger, wiser, and ready. but before you charge ahead. Take that deep breath check in, align and prepare. And when you do move forward, then you'll know that you're not just forcing a goal, you're becoming a person who achieves it. readiness is everything when it comes to setting and achieving goals, because if you're not mentally or emotionally or even logistically prepared, it's easy to set yourself up for frustration instead of progress. So again, before you write down a goal, let's measure your readiness by asking key questions and tap into the mindset, your resources, and your commitment. First of all, do you believe that you're capable? This is huge. Do you feel like you have the skills, knowledge, or confidence to pursue your goal? If it's not, that's okay, because we can just, that just means that that first step might be building capability. Ask yourself, what do I need to learn or practice to feel ready? again, readiness isn't about being perfect. It's about believing you can figure it out as you go. second thing to consider is, are you clear on your why? Why does this goal matter to you? Is it tied to your values, your purpose, or something that truly excites you? if your why is strong, it will fuel you through the days ahead. Write it down, make it personal. If your why feels fuzzy, then spend some time reflecting on what achieving this goal would mean for your life. Third thing is, do you have the time and energy? Let's be real. If your plate is already overflowing, adding a big goal might just lead to overwhelm. This is something that when I first started in network marketing, again, I was told to look for the busy people because those are the people that get things done. Well, that's fine. It's a good place to start because those are usually, that's usually true. Busy people will take on more and they will do things, but they will also quit when they get overwhelmed or if their why isn't strong. If they've gone into it with holding tight to an outcome, all of these things are part of the process for anyone. Look at your current commitments if you're busy and and you have a lot of things and you like to say yes to things that are good opportunities, just slow down a little bit, take a beat, take a deep breath, look at your current commitments and ask, do I have the bandwidth to give this goal the attention it deserves? If not, what can you delegate or delay? to let go or create space. So it might not be an automatic no, You could still be considering it and creating space for it. And maybe there's something that maybe an opportunity comes up that you like that. That that seems more aligned than maybe something else that's going on. then you're gonna go on a journey of reworking things. So the another thing is that are you open to learning and adjusting? Readiness isn't about just having all the answers. It's about being open To the process. Are you willing to adapt? Take feedback? Grow along the way? If you're stuck in perfectionism or fear of failure, then that's something to address before diving in. Another good question, again, is do you have support? We talk about that all the time and I'm a coach. So of course I am all about providing that support and developing or building a community so that we all have accountability for our goals and that we can stay on track. Who's in your corner? Whether it's a coach or mentor or a friend, having someone to encourage you, hold you accountable, and celebrate your wins can make all the difference. If you don't have the support yet, then think about who you can reach out to. All right, finally, are you ready to commit? This is the ultimate question. Are you ready to show up consistently even when it's hard? Are you willing to prioritize this goal and make it a non negotiable? If the answer is yes, then you're ready to move forward. And if it's not, that's okay. It just means that you might need to revisit your priorities or your motivation. Here's the thing. Readiness is key. isn't about being 100 percent confident or having everything figured out. It's about having enough clarity and belief and commitment to take that first step. and if you're not quite there yet, that's not a failure. It's an opportunity to prepare yourself for success. All right. I hope that was helpful. And if it was, Share this episode with someone that you trust and that you want to go on this journey with. and if you still need a little bit more clarity and really want to dive into this, I've created a readiness quiz that I'm going to make available inside the Reimagine Wellness community. So if you want to be part of that, click the link in the show notes, join that community and let's go on this journey together. Assess your readiness. And then maybe you want to join the coaching community and just have that Group of people that are also going after their goals that are assessing their readiness, dealing with all of those things and join us there. That's a great community to be a part of. We're going after our goals 2025, right? I got tired of setting goals and not really understanding how to get them and listening to people tell me that it was going to be easy when it wasn't and dealing with that, feeling like I didn't have good support with all of that. I just got tired of that. So this is why I, this is why I built the community. This is why I do the podcast because I want to help you set yourself up for the win, because the truth is you probably don't hate goals. What you don't like is failing at goals that you're not ready for. And when I see people focus on, when I focus on readiness first, everything changes. If you've ever felt like that, like goals aren't for you, ask yourself, is it really the goal or is it the discouragement from past failures? The key isn't to push harder. The key is to get ready the right way. So if you're ready to stop that cycle of, frustration and start setting yourself up for success. I hope you'll join the community and take that goal setting readiness quiz to discover where you are on your journey and how to move forward with confidence because goals aren't the enemy. Going in unprepared is, and you don't have to do that anymore. So set yourself up for the win as you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.