Taking the Next Right Step Forward.

You have the power to transform your world! 💪 Embrace your purpose and integrity in every step you take. What would it look like if we all took that next right step of integrity? Let’s explore together

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Transcript

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Welcome to another extraordinary week. I'm glad you're joining me this week. And I hope you're feeling extraordinary today, to summon the best of yourself, show up in this world in the way that you really want to. I've been struggling with what exactly does that? Look like I want to be able to share authentically here be encouraging Inspire, I like to do everything in the way that honors my desire to think create and learn And move us forward in the right direction. And to do that, I have to be able to be honest. And honestly, that's what I'm struggling with right now is what is too much? as, we navigate our cultural things, I've heard the term muzzle velocity, flooding the zone, the magic tricks. Things are coming at us very fast and we don't always agree on these things. Be quite honest. I get really frustrated with people who I know disagree with me, but I can't have the conversation. I really just want to understand why are you in support of something that seems so horrific? To me, and I can't have the conversation a lot of times because we're just not in that space where maybe the other person isn't in that space to have that conversation. And maybe they just haven't aren't paying attention. I can't even tell you how frustrating it is for me to have someone blindly supporting something without. Doing the homework. And when I ask why they believe what they believe, they will just openly say that they are not paying attention and they're not going to be distracted because basically, it's not affecting them. Now, whatever that is, we all have to manage that. We dealt a lot with that. An intensified version of that during the pandemic, and now we're back in that since the election and whatever you side you fall on, you're dealing with that. You're dealing with. Maybe you listen to one media outlet and somebody else is listening to another. We're coming at this. Sometimes we're saying the exact same things and meaning something completely different. And that can be very frustrating. Now this week was Valentine's day and I did some, I like to historically evaluate some of those holidays and looking at the story and Really asking myself, what does it mean to love? my four words that I filter things through are live, love, imagine, and inspire. And I ask myself every day. What do I need to do to live by those words? and then every evening I'm asking myself, did I live those four words? Did I live openly? Was I open to opportunities? Was I defaulting to extraordinary? Was I saying yes to things, to being authentic and to being myself and to serving others? Am I loving openly and with grace and showing up in the world in the way That I need to really be able to love. And if you read the definition of love, that is unconditional. It's not hierarchical. They're all of the things that we are hearing about in our culture. We're finding out that our values can be very different. And so we need to know what we stand for. And what I was finding is as I'm consuming probably more media than I, then that is healthy for me. while it does raise my stress levels and it challenges me to. Manage those and go back to my circles of influence and interest and control. That is all something that I'm always constantly having to manage and while that takes a lot of energy, it also is very good in the way that it's teaching me what I care about and what I value and when I just want to take the next right step of integrity. the next right step forward, I can know what that is, if I know where I'm coming from and if I know what is important to me. so some of the plus of this is that I'm learning about things that I care about that I didn't even know about. I don't know if that's a plus or minus some days, but there are things that go on in our culture in our world that I just took for granted and now I'm learning about needs of other humans, I'm learning about how the world works in a way that I didn't understand before, because I was just taking it for granted. Now, again, it's outside of my circle of control, a lot of the times, most of the time, but it is falling within my circle of interest. And I don't want to miss an opportunity that where I can have some influence to make something better for someone else. So all of those things, I'm looking at that and I'm wanting to be open to what's coming and how I should respond with integrity that taking that next right step. All right, all of that led me to I need to get a handle on how I relate to people that don't want to have the conversation and more so people that don't want to think through the issues and throw their support at something that they don't even understand. That's really hard for me. I honestly can handle more. So the person who does their homework and feels strongly. In a way that I don't, than somebody who just sticks their head in the sand and throws their support at something just because and just doesn't do their homework. when we are open and we do our homework. Maybe we will. change our minds about something. And at least we will probably change our minds about it being okay to change our minds. Anyway, I have to learn how to effectively mentally and emotionally manage the people who just don't want to do that. much work on this. we've all been there, frustrated and disappointed, or even hurt by someone else's action or inaction. I probably can't even count how many times I've been that way that's been the case in the workplace, even advocating to our leaders as nurses for things that we believe in strongly, even patient safety. And they, we just don't see eye to eye. I remember having that issue once with a supervisor and my coach helped me through that by helping me see that. That he was answering to a different set of criteria than I am. And could I see that then, that his response was reasonable? And with that in mind, I could. And so it's easy to think that they should know better. They should try harder. Why won't they just see it the way I do? But, What if we operated from a different assumption? What if we believed that if they could do better, they would? This is a real simple shift that, in perspective, it doesn't excuse harmful behavior, and it doesn't mean that we tolerate mistreatment. What it does, however, is invite us into a deeper understanding of human nature, of cognitive dissonance, and our own role in relationships. And most importantly, it helps us stay focused on our own path with integrity. And that's probably the most important thing. And that is the point of. That I want to make today is that we stay focused on our own path with integrity, and that doesn't mean that we dig our heels in on our point of view, or that we have to be right, because being focused on our own path with integrity means that we're open to change, we're open to pivoting, we're open to the viewpoint of others. So this is also a challenge of giving grace extending grace is a lot of times really hard when it's when someone doesn't even seem to want to think critically or consider another perspective, because maybe they're stuck in old patterns of maybe they're afraid to change their own beliefs for a lot of different reasons. Maybe they're, they know that their tribe or their family would, that would change those dynamics. And sometimes that's, yeah. subconscious, we don't even know what, why we have hold so tightly to some of the beliefs. And sometimes it's just, they're simply unaware of the impact of their actions. So when faced with resistance or ignorance or stubbornness, it's tempting to push harder, to demand accountability, or just to walk away in frustration. But again, what if instead of assuming that they won't do better, we assumed that they can't, or at least not yet. People don't intentionally live below their potential. They might say they do, they might Say that all of this is too hard, and that might be what we are thinking about what they're doing, but nobody does that. Nobody intentionally lives below their potential. They act within their current level of awareness of their emotional capacity of learned behaviors. If they are holding on to limiting beliefs or resisting growth, there's a reason, and grace means that recognizing that reason, even when it's not an excuse. One reason people struggle to change is that cognitive dissonance, the mental discomfort that we feel when we hold to When we hold contradictory beliefs or when new information challenges what we have always believed. once we make a decision, we become more aware, but the aware and the awareness can be really uncomfortable. So we start to cognitively look for evidence to the contrary. So when faced with truth that conflicts with identity or experiences or value, a lot of people just react defensively rather than openly. I'm going to pull this away from politics or thinking of that or the workplace or policies, because we do this also in our personal growth, in personal growth arenas and in relationships, we might refuse to change health habits. Despite clear evidence of what we should or shouldn't be doing. The leader that won't admit that they made a mistake and dig in. We've seen that before and it's so frustrating, but what can we do to create an environment, to create relationship that mistakes are safe to make, it's safe to correct a mistake. we really need to be able to create a culture at least in our, at least in our circle that it's okay to correct a mistake. What about the friend who dismisses a new perspective just because it threatens their worldview? I've had friends say really ugly things to me because what, because I challenged some of their worldview and it was painful or maybe they didn't have the capacity. Rather than wasting energy and trying to force others to see what they aren't ready for, we can one stay anchored in our own purpose. We don't need to convince everyone. Our job is to walk in alignment with our values, do the work that we are called to do and trust that those who are ready will come alongside us. This is hard because our causes feel urgent, and there are needs there that go unmet, and in those cases, sometimes we just need to play the long game and recognize that for our own health. And for our own cause and our own purpose, this is just the way it is now too. We can model integrity and growth. The best way to influence others is to embody the change that we wish to see. We've seen that in quotes and in memes so many times, but how many times are we just really internalizing that? When we show up with clarity and kindness, unwavering integrity, we offer that living example and invitation rather than a demand. And then maybe we can have those open conversations and people won't feel threatened by. Our, by the things, by the way we present things. Now three, set healthy boundaries. giving grace does not mean enabling unhealthy behavior. Giving grace doesn't mean giving in. We can offer understanding while still protecting our energy and our time and emotional well being. I want you to take some time and just take a moment and just think about the last time you saw someone post on social media or someone who opened up a conversation in a way that put people at ease It is happening. There are people out there setting healthy boundaries and still advocating. So it is possible. It does require some discipline. So we have staying anchored in our purpose, modeling integrity and growth, setting healthy boundaries and the whole rule of ask, not tell. And this is something that changed. Everything for me when I went through a more intensive coaching training and learn to ask good questions, instead of trying to correct or convince, ask thoughtful questions that invite curiosity. What makes you feel that way? Have you ever considered? So what would happen if I love to say, what would it look like if we had another thought about that? Or what would it look like if this was different? When people discover their own blind spots, transformation is more lasting. I became a better coach when I really understood authentic curiosity and when I really started having the conversations in light of that, the person that I'm talking to knows they have wisdom and knowledge They can figure things out. They know their heart. They know what they want. They know the solutions. It's my job to ask enough questions to create the awareness and allow them to see those blind spots on their own so that they can then go to work doing that transformation that only they can. And you have that too. You have the power to change. You have the power to transform your own thinking and the way that you go about all of these things. So if you're stressing and you're confused and you're feeling that sense of urgency, you have the power to change that. You can show up in the way that you really want to. You can be that source of wisdom and light and curiosity, that openness and that grace. You have been created for something powerful and what would it look like if we all showed up and just took that next right step of integrity? at the end of the day, we can't control others. We can only control how we show up. So when you're faced with resistance, ask yourself one, what is the best right thing I can do in this moment? How can I align my response? With integrity. And what would it look like to hold grace and truth at the same time? If you're unsure of the next step in your own journey, you're not alone. Let's talk about it. So sometimes clarity comes in conversation, So schedule a discovery session with me. We'll have that conversation and maybe I can help you uncover those blind spots, help you uncover what's holding you back and how to move forward with purpose, because. If you can do better, I know you will. Let's find out what that looks like as you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.