Why You're Tired (and What You Can Do About it): The Hidden Power of Wabi Sabi

In this episode of Default to Yes, we explore the ancient Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi and its teachings on finding beauty in imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness. Embracing Wabi Sabi can shift perspectives on work-life balance, health, and overall well-being. The episode delves into five core teachings: embracing imperfections, appreciating simplicity, accepting natural cycles, finding beauty in the broken, and slowing down to be present. We look at how these principles can reduce stress, improve mental resilience, and enhance overall life satisfaction. 

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00:00 Welcome and Weekly Encouragement

01:08 Introduction to Wabi Sabi

02:12 Embrace Imperfection

08:23 Appreciate Simplicity

10:42 Accept Life's Natural Cycles

16:08 Find Beauty in the Broken

18:05 Slow Down and Be Present

20:16 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Transcript

0:59

to another extraordinary week. I am glad you're here and I'm excited for the week ahead. And, even when our plans aren't perfect, they're still powerful. And I want to encourage you with that as you go forward and into this week, no matter what it looks like. You might have a very well planned out week. You might have a lot of things that you want to get done. Maybe you're taking a vacation. Maybe you're on spring break. Whatever your week holds for you. I hope that it does turn out the way that you planned. But a lot of times it just doesn't. And that's okay. I like to think about every day as just taking one, at least one step forward. Sometimes we can take giant leaps, right? But sometimes it's one step forward and that is what it means to default to yes. And that's what this. This podcast is all about just exploring practical ways to live well and to work smart and to thrive every, in every season of life. Take one step forward every day. I'm Julie Reynolds. And today we're going to talk about an ancient Japanese philosophy that might just shift the way you approach work, life balance, health, and overall wellbeing. It's called Wabi Sabi. I don't know if you've heard of it, but if you've heard of Wabi Sabi, it's. And essentially, again, a Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness. And it's more than just aesthetics. It's a way of living. It's a mindset that can radically impact the way you approach your work, your relationships, and your health. So today I'm walking you through the five core teachings of Wabi Sabi and how applying them can make you healthier, more fulfilled, and more at peace in your daily life. And this is something that I ran across and it's always fun to me to take a different perspective or to learn about especially something here that's ancient where other humans have adopted a philosophy to help them live well. So the first teaching in Wabi Sabi is to embrace imperfection. Our world is obsessed with perfection, perfect bodies, perfect career, perfect homes, perfect children, perfect wardrobe, all of the things. Wabi Sabi invites us to embrace imperfection and this could mean the Crack in your favorite coffee mug, or the messy handwritten journal notes. I have notebooks and journals that just got messy and then I didn't like them anymore, or I don't write in them because it's not gonna look pretty. So that's, this is gonna counter that, to be okay with a messy handwritten journal notes. Even scribbles, or when you have to scribble it out. In your most favorite leather journal, getting okay with that in life and work, that's this teaching is really essential. Brené Brown is somebody that I listened to, one of my favorites. She's a leading expert in vulnerability and shame. She says that perfectionism is not about striving for excellence. It's about avoiding shame. And she argues that embracing our imperfections allow us to be more authentic and productive. Dev and ultimately healthier. So in your work life, this might look like allowing yourself to take messy action and not wait until your presentation or your blog post, or your project is perfect. Just put it out into the world. Imperfections and all. This is a lot of this could save me a lot of time in editing. Some of my presentations or even this podcast is just to put it out there with all of the imperfections. Now to make it tolerable, I do eliminate some of the gaps and some of the things that but overall, I'm trying to minimize editing these days so that I can just Well, save myself some time then progress over perfection in your home life. This means letting go of the pressure to keep everything pristine. Enjoy that lived in beauty of your space. I remember the days of having young kids and I wanted the boys to be able to contribute to the family, um, do chores. And of course that meant cleaning your own room. That meant Um, it meant me not going in and redoing things or refolding towels, for example, when they aren't folded the way that I wanted them folded. Mom's out there. I know that you can relate to this. I have encountered a lot of women, especially who don't let people help in the house and don't let people do the things of the other family members contribute. To this, to the household in this way, because there's a certain way they want it done. You want the dishes loaded in a certain way. You want them washed and put away in a certain way. And I've really tried to hold loosely to those things as far as if there's a bowl that gets put away in a place that I wouldn't have put it just to let it go. Does that really have any connection to the way that the to the core of the life that you want to live the life you're created for? Really think about those things when you're able to let go of the perfectionism or the just, or even simply that it must be done your way, that can free up a lot of time and space and mental energy. What could you do? What could that make possible? I know a lot of people that go to do a project and get distracted by their environment and they end up Spending weeks decluttering their office space or decluttering their workspace so that they can get the project done that initially inspired them. Just get the project done and don't worry so much about the clutter. It will still be there when you're done and you can get to it then. But do the thing that you're called to do. Do the thing that you're called to do first. Yes, decluttering is valuable too, but don't use it as an excuse to do the thing that you really want to do. Ask yourself, is this resistance? Are you using the clutter as an excuse or a reason not to do the thing that you want to do? set out to do, that you're, what your real intention was. If that's the case, just rearrange that. Get the thing done then clear your space. My point is just don't let that be a distraction to the thing that you're really meant to do. research shows that perfectionism is linked to anxiety and depression and burnout. So by embracing imperfection, you can protect your mental health and build resilience. Now earlier in this year or maybe it was last year, I did a deep dive into perfection. Perfectionism, because I think that has been something that I have struggled with as well. And if you're somebody who struggles with that, it's not about denying that part of your personality. You have to ask yourself why and maybe embrace some of those tendencies, but choose another thought. What is another way to think about it? So it's not distracting so that you can use it as a strength. So embrace that desire for excellence, embrace that desire to complete the projects, to put yourself out there in the world in a way that you really want to. it's not about trying not to be a perfectionist in that just letting things go willy nilly, or you're still going to have those tendencies, embrace them and make them work for you and continue to remind yourself. Maybe perfection is just putting things out powerfully, It's not the absence of flaws, Okay so protect your mental health, build that resilience by embracing a little imperfection. Maybe you can be perfectly imperfect. teaching two of the Wabi Sabi principles are appreciate the simple and the modest. Wabi Sabi teaches us to find joy in simplicity, and that can mean slowing down to savor your morning coffee or enjoying a walk without your phone, or simply is scheduling to make space for rest. Joshua Becker is a minimalist expert, and he says this. The more stuff you own, the more stuff owns you. This speaks to some of that clutter. Maybe just once we get rid of it, don't replace it. This applies to our schedules too. This, the constant push to do more, to be more, to achieve more. That leads to chronic stress and to burnout. So at work, and maybe at work means the side gig that you're working on or the project that you're working on. Whatever work that you're putting out into the world, whatever your situation is. Could you simply, could you simplify your to do list to the most important tasks? I like to prioritize three things in the day and I don't always list them in. Those are the things that I really want to get done before I lay my head down on the pillow. But maybe it's not three things. Maybe sometimes it's just, maybe some days it's one thing. Maybe it's one thing broken up into three parts in your home. Can you visualize clutter and create a calming in your home? Can you reduce visual clutter to create that calming environment? Do that a little bit at a time. You don't have to take on the whole house. You don't have to take on the whole closet. I've been working on my closet and doing just one every time I and that means that every time I go in there, I take one thing and put it in the garbage bag. So that's a way to do this without taking up a whole lot of my time. I can do a little bit at a time, know that it's going to get done over time. And your relationships, can you fully be fully present instead of multitasking? We all know that multitasking is a myth anyway. Now, the health benefit to living simply has been shown to reduce stress and improve mental clarity. less clutter physically and mentally, the healthier you become. All right, teaching three in the Wabi Sabi principles accept the natural cycle of life. Wabi Sabi honors the natural cycle of growth. Decay and death. In our culture, we often resist this. We fight aging, we fear endings, and we struggle with change. Author and researcher, Elizabeth Gilbert. I love her. She says that embrace the glorious mess that you are. And I love that. I think that should be maybe hanging on my wall. Life has seasons in work, in relationships and in health. And when we stop fighting it. We can find some peace. A lot of us hold on to projects. We hold on to memberships. We hold on to being on a committee, we hold on to jobs. We hold on to things because letting them go means something. Ask yourself what it's meaning. What is your thought about that thing, that activity, that role that you're playing? What is it about that makes you hold on to it, even though it no longer brings you joy? In your work, there are seasons of growth and seasons of rest. Honor both of those. And in your home, there's a time to declutter and a time to gather. In your body, there's a time for high energy and a time for deep rest. Now, if you're familiar with scripture, you're probably thinking of Ecclesiastes. In the book of Ecclesiastes three, we find one of the most profound reflections of the natural rhythms of life. It says there's a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens, a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build a time to weep. And a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. this goes right to the heart of Wabi Sabi. It's that understanding of the life that is filled with changing seasons. Each with its own purpose. And there's a beauty in beginnings, They're fun and novel and bring a lot of joy and anticipation, and we are built for that. But there's also beauty in endings. There is meaning in the building, and there's also meaning in letting go. There's growth in the fullness and the excitement, and there's wisdom in that emptiness. Ecclesiastes reminds us that we aren't meant to force every season to be the same. And that's so important. We tend to want all of the novelty of beginnings. Some seasons are for high productivity and while others call for rest and reflection. And then some seasons bring new beginnings. Others require the, those endings and when we resist the natural shifts, we invite that stress and that burnout and the disappointment. But when we honor that ebb and flow of life, we can find that peace and recognize that this is a natural cycle and this is how we grow. So when you're in a season of planting, give it your energy. Build, create, and dream. When you're season of uprooting, don't be afraid of it. Just release and clear and trust what's next. And when you're in a season of healing, lean into it. Slow down, nourish, and restore. And when you're in a season of joy, savor it. Laugh and celebrate and be fully present. We were talking about this Eve, actually just last night in our coaching group we were talking about overwhelm and there's those times to feel pressure. And I wanted to address that pressure is not always a bad thing. Sometimes when we put pressure on ourselves, like by setting goals or giving ourselves deadlines that puts a little pressure on us. And that's not always a bad thing. That's how we grow. And I was asking the question, when you feel overwhelmed, is that always the time to let off the gas? Apply the brakes. think that's sometimes how we get stuck is we let off the brakes. When you're driving in winter weather on a slick road. Or in snow when you don't have the normal traction of a drive road. Um, we when you're When you go to take that incline, you do not slow down. So when you approach that obstacle, that incline, that additional effort that it's going to require to move forward, that is not the time to let off the gas. That's the time to stay consistent, keep moving, do not break. Because that's when we veer off the road or we get stuck, sometimes we have feelings like pressure and overwhelm That make us want to stop or slow down and it's not always the answer It's not always the right thing to do And I think that answers it is just by honoring the cycles of life and knowing what cycle you're in. So ask yourself if you're starting to feel overwhelmed, ask yourself what cycle you're in. What season is this? and that will help us respond more appropriately and honor those times. honoring those natural rhythms. Teaching number four of the Wabi Sabi is finding beauty in the broken. One of the most famous representations of Wabi Sabi is Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. And you've probably seen that. And I might not have pronounced that right either. The cracks aren't hidden. They're highlighted, making that piece more beautiful so it's like that in life to your cracks, your failures, your heartbreaks, your losses. They're not flaws. They're gold lines of your story. All right. Let me say that again because I need to hear it. In life, your cracks, your failures, your heartbreaks, your losses, they're not flaws. They're gold lines of your story. They're what make you uniquely you. They're what you bring to the world that is so powerful. In your career, Failures are not the end. They're the gold. That's hard to say when I reflect, when I say that, and I think about the time that I experienced the most trouble in my career, that didn't feel like gold, it was. It brought so much meaning and it's so much strength and resilience. And we learned so much during that time in your personal life, acknowledge the beauty that over of overcoming struggles and in your health, honor your body's resilience instead of criticizing its imperfections. research shows that self compassion increases mental resilience and overall happiness. Highlight your gold. Spend some time thinking about that today. Actually visualize it. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and visualize the cracks in your vessel, Those gold lines of your story. Can you see them teaching number five is to slow down and be present. The heart of Wabi Sabi is presence. It's about slowing down and being fully where you are and allowing yourself to be rather than do. Arianna Huffington emphasizes this in her book Thrive. She argues that our obsession with productivity is destroying our well being. I think you can probably feel that sometimes. There are times when you just get so focused on what you want to accomplish or your goal, that you forget to think about all the things. In, and I can see it sometimes in my coaching clients, when I asked them a question about overall wellbeing fun and sleep. And all of those things are not part of the thought process when you're going after a goal, but they need to be. In your work, schedule pauses. Don't fill every moment with tasks. In your home, without scrolling on your phone, or maybe don't eat in front of the television. In your relationships, make eye contact and listen fully. Ask questions. Get curious. Slowing down reduces cortisol levels and improves sleep and increases overall life satisfaction. And I think you'll find that you can get more done when you slow down. In baseball there is a Catchphrase that the faster the play, the slower you go. Applying that to life, we make less mistakes and we pay less of a price for all of our busyness or all of our goal getting, with that we don't have to sacrifice our overall well being to really live the life that you want. Remember all those goals. Remember all those tasks, all the things that you're doing. You're doing them for a reason. Because you think that they are going to lead to the life that you really want. So being intentional about that is important. And again, remember all the things that you want are really about creating that life that you want to live, that you are called to live, that you're created for. So you so make those things work for that goal instead of the other way around. So what would it look like if you adopted Wabi Sabi into your life? If you let go of perfection, embraced simplicity, accepted life cycles, found beauty in the broken, and slowed down to be present, it wouldn't just change your work life balance. It would change your health, your joy, and your peace. And really, that's probably what we're after anyway, right? It's the life that we are created to live. All right. Thanks for joining me today. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs a little wabi sabi in their life. And if you want more tips and tools for thriving subscribe to Default to Yes. join the community. I'd love to see you there. until next, I remember that just like in Wabi Sabi, the beauty is not in perfection, but it's in the truth of each season, your life will always have cycles of growth, letting go rest and renewal. And that's exactly as it should be. So what season are you in right now? And what would it look like to embrace it fully without rushing to the next as you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.