Rewriting the Midlife Map—It’s Not a Crisis, It’s a Calling

In this powerful episode of Default to Yes, we challenge the outdated myth of the midlife crisis and uncover the truth: midlife is not a crisis—it’s a calling. Backed by science, infused with soul, and rooted in possibility, this episode invites you to see your 40s, 50s, and beyond as a launchpad for reinvention.

You’ll learn:

• Why the “midlife crisis” is more cultural fiction than scientific fact
• What neuroscience and psychology tell us about the potential of this life stage
• How to thrive in midlife by redefining health, relationships, purpose, and success
• The exact next step if you’re ready to say YES to a new season of life

If you’re feeling the stir of “there’s something more,” this conversation is your confirmation.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Schedule a free call with Juli
• Join the YES Society

Transcript

0:59

Welcome back to Default To Yes, it's, this is a podcast where we live, love, imagine, and inspire on purpose. I'm Julie Reynolds, your coach, guide, and fellow traveler in the beautiful, unpredictable, powerful season called midlife. We don't always talk specifically about the season of midlife, but I think most of my listeners can relate and honestly all of my clients, So we're gonna talk specifically, and today we're gonna do some myth busting. We're gonna talk about why midlife crisis is not just outdated, it's an illusion. So if you're still holding onto that, we're going to get into some of that. We're gonna explore what science and what spirit and what your story have to say about the truth. Midlife I isn't a crisis. It's a calling. let's get into it. Now we've all heard the stereotypes, uh, that red sports car, the sudden career changes. A lot of times we hear people leaving their marriages, um, up just upending their lives. and that existential dread. But most of those images come from pop culture, not psychology, and have been. in the myth, busted care categories for many years. I think we're seeing more and more of that. We're seeing less and less of the stereotypical, uh, expression of midlife. And, seeing something that is a little quieter to in today's midlife as described in Forbes Magazine just recently, Quote, forget the sports car and impulsive sabbatical. The new midlife career crisis doesn't always look like a dramatic exit. It's a quieter, subtler and it's happening to professionals who appear on paper to seem to be thriving. You're in your thirties or forties, you've earned that title and built a solid reputation. Maybe you're in your fifties and you're thinking about retiring. Maybe you're in your sixties and thinking about retiring, maybe even checked off a few longstanding career goals. Yet, despite all of that, you feel stuck. You are not failing, but you are not fully alive in your work. This isn't burnout in the traditional sense, and we tend to a lot of times in workplaces. Describe it as such, and we label it as such when there's something else going on. It's something very different. It's that growing disconnection between who you've become and the work that you're doing. Sometimes it's just an alignment. You're coming into alignment and an awareness of who you really are. And how you're behaving according to some expectations that you didn't even recognize were there. So instead, what people often feel is that deep invitation to reassess and realign, and then where do you start in deconstructing the life that you're living to get to that place of alignment. That can be painful and that can be complicated. so I want to talk about that because that's also what we talk about a lot of times is underlining in our coaching conversations, this is where, uh, people are when they reach out for support. And I love this transformation process so much so. Let's say you've made it to your forties or fifties or beyond, and you're starting to slow down, retiring or fade or feeling like you're kind of fading into the background. You're just coasting. I've heard people use that term, but what if everything that you've lived through, every twist, every turn, triumph, and trial, what if that's all been leading you towards. Not towards decline or coasting, but towards that most powerful chapter of your life. Yet let's not underestimate that. Let's say yes, let's default to yes to your extraordinary self in this season. The midlife crisis, like I said before, is a myth. The midlife crisis was coined in 1960s by a psycho analyst Elliot Jacques, and it's since been solidified in pop culture as a season of, like I said before, those sports cars, radical changes, existential dread, blowing your marriage up, those kind of things. But modern research definitely tells us a different story. Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Robert Waldinger, who leads the world's LA longest study on adult development, found that happiness and life satisfaction actually increased after 50. if we are intentional, other studies include the, uh, those from Stanford Center on Longevity. They show that people in midlife often experience greater emotional regulation, deeper meaning, and higher self-awareness. so the so-called crisis, it's really. Often the discomfort of transition, of awakening to the reality that that old map no longer works and a new one is needed. That's not a breakdown. That's the beginning of reinvention. And reinvention can be intimidating and scary, and we're not really sure, especially when we try to go it on our, our own. Our brains are really good at protecting us from discomfort and change is uncomfortable and we start to think about how it's going to affect other people, and then we fall back into some of those old patterns. So let's talk a little bit, just to give you some encouragement here. The where, how, how science. Addresses this now. Neuroscience shows that during midlife, our brains gain more capacity for insight, empathy, and complex problem solving. We all know that the brain isn't fully developed until after age 25, and so some of those things, those reflections that we're talking about in the past in our twenties, and how we were willing to take risks and be brave and be bold and own our truth in our twenties. Well, we started introducing more reasoning and more practicalities as we age, but with that comes insight, empathy, and the ability to, for complex, problem solving, our emotional intelligence begins to peak. after our twenties, and people often report greater wellbeing and purpose and resilience once they say yes to exploring what's next. Midlife is in a downhill slide. It is a neurological, physiological, and psychological shift that opens up new capacities. So the science of midlife potential includes brain remodeling, that continues through your forties and fifties. Neuroplasticity doesn't vanish. It just shifts. We become better at integrating knowledge. Spotting patterns and making decisions based on wisdom, not just data. And then emotional intelligence rises as well. You may not run marathons on three hours of sleep or bounce back from an all nighter like you did in your twenties, but your ability to connect and discern and empathize reaches new heights. Then there's a hormonal recalibration that can bring challenges. Hello. Hot flashes and mood shifts, right? women are learning new ways to navigate this, and it's so exciting to see some of that language change and some of that empowerment happen, but it also marks a powerful biological reorientation. Energy begins to reclaim itself for you, not your family or career. Then there's the art of reimagining life. This is a season of both and both wisdom and curiosity, both reflection and ambition, both letting go and leaning in midlife gives us that gift of discernment, and we can release. Roles and habits and identities that no longer serve us. We can edit our lives like a like a teacher with a red pen, cutting clutter, redefining purpose, and choosing legacy. I love that we can start to think because we are already thinking about legacy in the background of our minds, so we might as well. embrace it and make it work for us instead of fighting it and working against it Cutting clutter, redefining purpose, and choosing legacy. Then there's the opportunity of reinvention. Retirement is no longer the end of the road. We see people wanting to. Take part-time jobs and things that they, in areas that they love, do some, do things that they're wanting to stay active and doing things that they love. And it's not just all about golf and not all about travel. Some people are actually changing careers after they retire from their first one, So retirement, no longer the end of the road, often it's just a detour or even a launchpad. The average lifespan in many countries now ex exceeds 80, That means that if you're in your fifties, you might have 30 plus years left to explore, create and grow. And being intentional in this time will lead itself to being healthier and stronger, more active and more connected as we age. So ask yourself. What have I always wanted to learn? Who do I want to become now that I've stopped trying to become who I thought I should be? Let me repeat that question because I think this will hit home for a lot of you. What should I become now that I've stopped trying to become who I thought I should be? and another question to ask yourself is what kind of of contribution lights you up? How can you go and make that? What is the opportunity that this season provides for you? if you start thinking a little bit outside of the box, what opportunity is available to you now? I guess I'm giving you permission if you need it to just explore that and to lean into this is a time of opportunity and a time to embrace this season for what it is for that calling, not a crisis, not a time to cruise. It's a time to lean into your calling. most of my peers, my colleagues, my clients, they all are looking for. Then, okay, I'm embracing this as a season that I have an opportunity to pursue my calling and to get clarity and confidence and find my voice. And what they need is a map forward. So if this isn't a crisis, what is it? if it's a crossroads and it's a call to rise into the person that you always known you could be a time that you want to summon the best of who you are, then midlife life is your moment to restore vitality, to reconnect with your purpose, to rekindle or reignite your relationships, and to reclaim your joy. And this is part of that chance to chart a dynamic and customize course forward. It does not look the same for all of us. And so there are some, some things that we need to do intentionally to show our brain this new pathway that is and embrace that change is not being so, um. So scary so that our, our brain sabotages that Our brain is really good at helping us avoid change because again, the brain's mission is to keep us comfortable and safe, and change is not safe or comfortable. And so we want to train our brains to really cooperate with us in the way that we really want to show up. And what that means is. First of all, when we were thinking about restoring vitality, we wanna rethink health as a vehicle for purpose. Midlife isn't about preventing disease, it's about optimizing energy and clarity and mobility so that you can do things that matter. This is the time to explore those integrative practices like breath work and sleep rituals. Plant medicine, strength training, and joyful movement. This has been, uh, for the last decade. I have studied these, integrative practices and worked them into my daily routine, and it has changed my life. It has changed my outlook, and it's given me the tools in which to make the radical changes that I need to make right now. And then when we think about reigniting relationships, so you know who your people are now and you are ready to find them. Midlife is a prime time to deepen intimacy and to release those toxic dynamics that have been playing a role in keeping you playing small. And then. It's a great time to just see community that is aligned with your values. And that is so powerful and sometimes way underestimated as far as the impact that it has on our ability to thrive in this, in se this season, in every season, really. But this is the time that we really know, we understand who our people are. and if you don't, you will. As you get clearer on who you are and where your core values are, and you get that clarity and you get some of that confidence going, then you start to know who your people are. So reconnecting with purpose is the other thing that we get to do in this season, and that's really redefining success. success in midlife often means meaning over metrics. It's about legacy, not ladders. So what are you building that will outlast you? Many of us are still working with metrics, meaning. Meaning that we are still meeting the metrics that our supervisors or our employer have asked us to meet. But there's that uneasiness of is this really making a difference? The kind of difference that I wanna make? Am I working for someone else's dream and not mine? Those are. Questions and uneasiness that comes, even if we are still placing metrics at the top priority. But it's beginning to shift in this season where we start to recognize that where we really want to make the difference, where we really want to put our efforts and intentions is towards meaning. So what kind of life feels rich regardless of your title? We start to get uneasy. We start to look at that about what we have, the title, we have the position we've reached our goals, and now. we're wondering what is next? Is this all there is? And we start to really examine what kind of life will feel rich regardless of the title. this is an awesome opportunity to reconnect with our purpose and redefine success. It doesn't mean you're just gonna walk away from your job. It means you start to get to tip the balance of those things and start to bring meaning into that. You start to be able to navigate your way away from the metrics and towards the meaning. That's gonna look different from for all of us. So that's why I always say don't go it alone, because you need to know what's playing in the background. You spent a lot of time on this path and it's natural, it's familiar even if it's not comfortable. And again, your brain likes familiar so. Be careful there. Alright, then the other thing is that this is a season that we get to reclaim joy. So play wonder and creativity. They don't have an expiration date. In fact, studies show that novelty and curiosity are the key to cognitive longevity and emotional fulfillment. So learn to paint, take voice lessons, travel, volunteer, start a business. I work with a lot of powerful people that. Are doing exactly this. They are looking at retirement as a launch for their new business that they've always dreamed of in an area that they've always wanted to make an impact. A lot of nurses who are tired of the way healthcare only treats sick and want, they want to. They wanna build into the health and wellness of others and, and see other people get free of that mindset of that we have to only take care of our health when we're sick. they have passions and tools that they want to bring, and so they're starting their business as they look at retiring From healthcare. and some of them are getting out a lot earlier than because their business are taking off. So it's exciting to see when, when someone steps up for themselves, says yes to their extraordinary self, to reclaim their joy and their purpose, write the book. A lot of you have stories that need to be told, and the only reason you're not telling them is because you think you're not a writer, you may be thinking it's too late or who would wanna read it? Well, who cares? Write the book. Reclaim your joy. Do the thing that you always wanted to do. I. And that's what we're doing in the Yes Society, that's a coaching community of powerful high achievers who are rewriting the rules and redrawing the map. So here's your next step. If something in you is whispering, there's more for me. Let's talk about what that looks like. So the first thing to do is. schedule that free clarity. Chat with me and we will unpack some of this and see what is the right, the next right step for you to take and then join the Yes society where reinvention is normal. That purpose is celebrated, and you are supported every step of the way because midlife isn't the end of the road. Not by a long shot. It's the beginning of your most dynamic purposeful chapter. Yet thanks for listening to the Default to Yes podcast. Be sure to follow, share, and leave a review. If this episode spoke to you, that would mean the world to me. And remember, if this message has been just for you, I wanna tell you that you are not behind, you are not broken, you're not too tired, too old, too late, or too far gone. You are on the brink of the boldest expression of your life. reinvention is not the act of desperation. It's a declaration. I am still becoming, the season isn't a crisis. It isn't a time to hit the cruise control. It's about crossroads and you get to choose. Choose your growth over comfort, purpose over pressure, curiosity over convention. As you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.