Are Your Dreams Bigger Than the Drama? How to Break Free of Drama and Distractions

When everything feels uncertain—when you’re facing loss, sickness, or life transition—clarity is your lifeline. In this episode, we explore how to stay in your lane by anchoring to your core values, using both neuroscience and cognitive behavioral strategies to move forward with intention.

You’ll learn the YES Ritual—a simple, powerful framework to reset your mind and align your actions—and discover how aromacognition (the intentional use of essential oils for emotional and cognitive support) can help you stay grounded in your purpose.

Because your dreams must be bigger than the drama, and stronger than the distraction.

We’ll walk through how to regulate your nervous system, choose your values in the moment, and take aligned action, even when life feels heavy.

This episode is for anyone seeking emotional resilience, intentional living, and a path forward in hard seasons.

🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs it—or someone you want to have a meaningful conversation with.

00:00 Welcome and Ways to Connect

01:01 Navigating Persistence and Letting Go

03:18 Understanding Brain Responses to Stress

05:26 Introducing the Yes Ritual

06:20 Aroma Cognition and Its Benefits

07:04 Implementing the Yes Ritual

15:47 Defining Your Lane and Core Values

19:36 Final Thoughts and Invitation

Transcript

0:59

Welcome to another extraordinary week. I am so honored that you're here and I wanna say that I've been hearing more and more from people you who have been listening and giving me feedback and making this a conversation, and that really means a lot to me. So I've made a lot of different ways that you can actually participate here or join me in the conversation. First of all, you can get on my email list. And I will send all of these episodes to you and with a little bit more, and sometimes bonuses and sometimes more thoughts on the topic and questions or journal prompts. And that's usually a lot of times how I hear back from you. But I've also put in a link to, you could send me a voicemail If you prefer to leave an audio message Just click that link and leave me an audio message. I will hear that as well, and I will get back to you. I don't have a huge team and I don't have bots. So it will actually be me. And we can connect that way. I'd love to hear what you wanna talk about. I just actually just finished an email interaction with someone who listens and we were talking about just persistence and how you stay in your lane when life gets hard, how do you know when to give up on the dream and how do you know when things are just overtaking that it's just too much work and it, the. Thing that you're working on doesn't have the ROI that you maybe had hoped or maybe just start giving up that it's ever going to happen. I'm not someone who gives up easily. It's really hard for me to let go of something once I've started it. So I have to be careful that once I've started down a road that, and I notice that it's not maybe going to be worth the effort that it takes. I need to be able to know when to call it as well. In fact, there's a puzzle on my table right now that. I am really thinking that it's probably it's probably a no right now on the puzzle and I needs to go back in the box until I have the bandwidth to do it. But I have part of the border put together. I, so I partially invested and knowing when to just put it all back in the box for a better time or knowing that it can be tricky when life. Shakes us when we get sick. When grief kicks in, we experience a loss. Our life delivers a blow that you didn't see coming. It's really tempting to drift and to start to question everything and to lose sight of who you are. but these are the moments that demand the deepest clarity. So what are you about? What do you stand for? What is your lane? Not just when life is good, but when everything feels like it's been turned upside down. This is the time when a lot of people, especially in midlife, can find themselves drifting to what everyone else is doing. What is the norm? Just retire and enjoy it. Work a part-time job. Just do the things you need to do to get through. That this is not the time to push. This is not the time to dream. You've had that chance. science tells us something different about our brains in this time, and we are living longer and we have more opportunities to really reinvent more, maybe more so than we did in any other age because of what we understand about the brain Now. Under pressure, the brain defaults to survival. The amygdala heightens your stress, hormone surge, and the body really braces for impact. And in this mode, that's when we start to lose clarity and we lose creativity, and we forget our why. We let the drama Overcome our dream, it becomes bigger than our dream, That's where we have to stop that role when we return to our core values, something really powerful happens That prefrontal cortex comes back online, that is where executive functioning, long-term planning, compassion, self-regulation, all of that lives in the prefrontal cortex. So the clarity of our identity, it gives a brain a sense of safety and direction, and then we can overcome that drama. With our dream. And that's when we also regain the ability to choose. And not to react. To respond and not react. But I will say that your dreams have to be bigger than the drama or does none of that happens and they also have to be bigger than the distraction. I've referenced what I would call a distraction in my past couple episodes, and that was in the workplace and with current politics and some decisions that were make made. There was a huge distraction in the way I viewed my nursing practice, and I felt like I was losing something because I was losing something, I think maybe it felt bigger than it was now. I still think it's a big deal what's going on, but is it a big deal to me and to my practice and to what I will do? Is it bigger than my dream? Absolutely not. And in these times it's learning to pivot and maybe that is fuel for the dream. So I have this ritual that I wanna share with you, and I've shared variations of this and rituals. If you listen regularly, rituals and practices, frameworks, those are the way. I like to get myself through these things because once I design a ritual or I create a framework, a way to strategically move through that, I can hold that dream above the drama and I can move forward. So this is what I'm calling the Yes ritual. And I'm gonna introduce a little aroma cognition practice as well. For those of you Who have essential oils at home that you are using to, for your health and for your mindset? For your lifestyle. this is a three step framework that is rooted in neuroscience And then we're gonna enhance it with aroma cognition. So aroma. Cognition is an enhancement, a powerful enhancement. But if you don't have essential oils, this is still something that you can do Aroma cognition, for those of you don't know, it's a practice that uses scent or aroma to activate memory, emotion, and mindset. And it just helps us to condition our minds, our brains to really take hold of those habits and take care, hold of those those intentions in a way that is really powerful and can become autopilot if we practice it. If we practice it right. And I love to see what my clients are doing with this because it is growing in the way. As it does when other humans get involved and start to invest themselves in the process, they come up with things that, in ways of doing things that even enhance that practice. Regardless. The yes ritual. So yield to the moment is first. Let's pause, breathe, and be here. And this isn't a whole lot different than the pep framework that I use in the moment. And that's to pause or to it, it just always starts with a pause because it's clarity is where it's at. When we can pause and breathe and notice what's true, notice what stories we're telling ourselves about this and really weigh the evidence and that is a. In itself is a really great practice for being able to respond instead of react. So pause, breathe, be present. You can use an essential oil that grounds and calms the nervous system like frankincense or cedarwood or lavender. I have a blend that is called Shin Rin Yoku, and That means forest bathing and it's all the aromas of the forest. And I love that. And I love that is what I will use. But to tell you the truth, if you're designing an aroma cognition practice, you'll use the same oil or the same aroma every single time. But you could use anything that calms the nervous system. So that might be, like I said, Frank is at cedarwood, lavender bergamot angling sandalwood. There. We have a lot of different options. Marum, that's a really good one too. in your aroma cognition practice, that would be the time to breathe. Inhale deeply and say aloud or silently right now, I am safe. I yield to what is without judgment right now, I am safe and I yield to what is without judgment. This is the moment to reset and to really return to presence. Then you can examine your values. What do I stand for right now and what matters most to me, even in this chaos? What is this distraction or this drama that is threatening my dream? That is really a question that I have to ask myself. What is this drama or distraction that is threatening my dream? Because anytime my dream is threatened, that is when I tend to get into that fight or flight response and I start to really react and the amygdala takes over. That's the time to come back into my prefrontal. Protocol and really double down on these exercises. So what do I stand for right now? What matters most to me, even in the chaos, And for me, sometimes in the moment, that's grabbing hold of an eternal perspective. That's knowing that I am a, that I'm a child of God and that what at the core of this I, what I hold dear is probably nothing on this earth and nothing that this world has to offer. But those things in the moment can trigger me as far as what I'm actually doing and how that's manifesting. So what do I stand for right now? What matters most to me, even in the chaos? Then you can let your aroma, if you're using aromas, let that go guide you inward. You can choose an oil that evokes clarity or courage as well. So when you're resetting your nervous system, maybe that even just. Breath work, breathing in that an oil that it, that is a clarity or courage oil set, like peppermint or bergamot, rosemary. So bergamot can actually be used for both. It's got a really unique chemistry in that way that you can use this for calming and for a lot of the citrus oils are like that. So this would be an opportunity to pull out your citrus oils. All right. your journal prompt would be, in this season I choose to embody the value of. And whatever that is for you. So you could anchor the value, not just in thought, but in the breath and body and that might be in love. So what would it mean to think only? Think of the things that are lovely and pure and right, and life giving. So in this season, I choose to embody the value of. Love or peace, whatever that looks like. Maybe it is clarity, maybe it is courage or compassion stability. Whatever that core value is, that really means a lot that hits home for you. Anchor your value, not just in your thought, but in your breath and in your body, and then setting your intention. Decide on one aligned action, something simple and congruent with. Who you are becoming so. What that looks like is going to be very different for all of us. But what is one aligned action? Something simple and congruent with who you are becoming. And that might have nothing to do with the drama or the distraction that's going on, and when I'm saying drama or distraction, I realize that some, for some of you, it's a intense loss or a relationship that's gone wrong or a, an illness. Something that is really, it is really tough and so I don't want to minimize it by calling it a distraction or drama. And there are some times when those things, when our dreams do get deferred, I. But it is just a deferment. It's not something that you give up on forever. Maybe it's something that you tweak or pivot on. Maybe it you reinvent that All of those things are part of the reality, but this process doesn't change that. This process only triggers it. It points you in the direction that you need to be going. if this is getting in the weeds for you, if you're not sure, or maybe you've never clarified your values before and you don't know what that, that value being threatened I had a conversation this week about drama in a relationship. And what was happening is that it was conflicting with, the value of justice and fairness once we recognize that something is threatening our value or something is that something is in conflict with that value, we can start to go to work on. Determining that one aligned action, something simple and congruent with who you are becoming that we can take towards this releasing and this getting back to what we are really Called to. So if you are hearing this and you're thinking, that's where I am right now, you can use an an aroma or an oil that uplifts or energizes lemongrass. Spearmint, cinnamon Cassia. Let's see what else? Cilantro, all of those would be really good aromas or oils. And some of those can be in food. So if you don't have oils, you could maybe you have a floral scent that is calming or a spice that you love the smell of. I have one client using coffee as their aroma Cognition practice, so whatever that aroma is. But oils are really powerful and they're easy to use for that. So if and if you're somebody who now you're starting to get interested and curious about oils also, that's a good way, reason to reach out to me. All right. Your affirmation with or without the aroma, is today I act in alignment. I am steady. I am clear. I am free. I needed to recognize that in the past couple weeks that I don't go to work. That is not my primary mission in life. That is something that I do not something that I am, and I was letting the things that were happening. Make me feel, or my brain, because it was a loss, because it was a shift, because there was a threat there, real or not. There was a threat to what I hold dear, and it was a threat to a value. whenever your brain feels a threat, you're naturally gonna go to that reactionary the amygdala response. So again, we're taking ourselves back, taking ourselves inward a little bit, and then to act in alignment. I am steady, I am clear. I am free. Pairing oils is I'm an aromatherapist, so I love the aromas. I love what they do in our bodies. I love what they can, the power tool they are for our health. But pairing these oils with intention becomes that really a neurological shortcut linking the sense of smell to your sense of self. So the next step will be defining your lane. And that is a hard thing to do, especially if you're going in on yourself with that. So you want to get out of your head over these, this topic. So define your lane. Your lane isn't about narrowness. So let me say that again. Your lane is not about narrowness. A lot of times when we talk about staying in your own lane, all we think about are the things that are in the other lane. We think we have to give those things up. It's not about narrowness, it's about integrity. And it's the place where your values, gifts, and vision align even when circumstances don't. And this is something I understood about staying in your lane. I thought I had to pick one thing, one passion, one message, and. Over time, I could see this is my lane. My lane is me. My lane is what I do, what I bring, what I'm called to. So what do I want my life to mean? Especially when things are hard and what value anchors me right now? What dream is bigger than this moment, this drama, this distraction? When the storm hits, we don't need more speed. Just like in construction or when the roads are wet, you'll see those signs go up to that. When weather is bad, we slow down When the. Conditions are such that we have, there's more distractions and more obstacles. We slow down. We don't need more speed during that time. We need anchors. We need to steady our pace. We need to pay more attention. We need to be more mindful. Aroma cognition will help anchor your intention. Core values anchor your identity. Intention anchors your action. the important part of that is to recognize that your core values are the anchor for your identity. Core values are what keep you in your lane. It's not just one sole purpose or one sole action or one sole message or intent. It's your core values. Your core values will anchor your identity and intention. Anchor your action. Viktor Frankl said, those who have a why to live can bear almost any how. in the world, we are pulled in a thousand directions. Social media alone can be that distraction. So that is and that's an easy one to just take out of your day. when things get complicated, find a source for. Staying involved in your news, staying informed without that distraction. because here's the truth. You were created for a purpose. You were created for such a time as this. And when you know what you're about, you don't need to fear the detours. You don't need to shrink to the drama or give into the distractions. You always find a way back. It is not about never getting shaken. It's about being rooted enough to come back to yourself. When you do When life feels uncertain, and it will. There's loss, illness, transitions, challenges that come our way. It's not hustle or perfection that we need most. It's not speeding up. It's clarity. Knowing what you're about, what you stand for, What lane you're called to walk in. It keeps you grounded when the world feels like it's spinning. Through the lens of neuroscience and cognitive behavioral science, we understand that the clarity of values calms the brain, regulates the emotions and fuels forward movement, and The yes ritual, yield, examine, set offers us a practical way to reconnect with our values and anchor intention. In the end, your dreams must be bigger than your drama. They must be stronger than your distraction, and maybe that's the work that you need to go on. Really get in touch with that dream, who you are, who you're becoming, what is the life that you're created to live. If you are in the middle of the of a hard season and you don't know the answers to these questions, just know that you do not have to have it all figured out. You don't have to understand where these distractions are coming from or the root cause initially. That's something that you'll drill down over time. Once you are able to yield and to really pause and To examine it and then to set yourself on solid ground. And for that, you just need to know what you're about. the truth, will guide your steps, calm your mind, and fuel your resilience. So here's your invitation. Pause, inhale. Remember who you are. Choose a value, set an attention. Take one step in your lane, even if it's a small one. Small steps add up to big progress and then share this with someone that you know who needs it, or even better send it to someone you trust and ask them if they wanna talk through this together. Let it spark a conversation about what matters most. We need more people who are anchored in clarity, people who live on purpose, and especially in uncertain times. Be one of those. and help others do the same. The world needs your steadiness, your truth, your light. So let's walk in our lane together as As you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.