The Ripple Effect of Showing Up: How to Find Your Voice and Create Change

One person in the crowd can change everything.
In this episode, we explore the power of showing up—and why your presence and actions matter more than you think.

We’ll unpack Abraham Lincoln’s 1862 call to “think anew and act anew,” Gavin Newsom’s reminder that we have agency, and the neuroscience behind social contagion—how courage spreads through networks and shifts culture.

You’ll discover how meaning, purpose, and agency fuel long-term motivation, and why playing small doesn’t keep you safe—it keeps you stuck.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How one person’s courage creates ripple effects
• The science of culture change and agency
• Why purpose activates your brain’s reward system
• Practical ways to use your voice and take action today

👉 Ready to get clear on your next right step? Schedule your Clarity Session!

Transcript

0:59

Welcome back to Default To Yes. I'm so honored to be on this journey with you, with your extraordinary self. We are saying yes to the life that we are meant for, even when it feels scary, inconvenient, or even uncertain, and this is what we're talking about today. I'll be honest with you, I struggle with. All of these things on an ongoing basis. I've been accused of overthinking. I've been accused of being persistent to the point of what is the purpose? I. But that's all because I desire to really show up in the way that I am meant to in a way that's meaningful. And I know that you do too, or you wouldn't be here. So today I wanna talk about something that's stirring in me in our current political climate. I work in a place workplace, as many of you do, that is under undergoing a lot of changes and a lot if it is because of legislation. That feels way out there sometimes to, to us feels above our pay grade. Maybe. Maybe it feels like I don't have a seat at the table, so I don't have a voice, or I'm just going along for the ride. We don't wanna live that way. So today I want to talk about all those things that are, that I've been processing. I heard an interview earlier that. It sparked a lot of thought in me and a lot of inspiration and gave me maybe a direction to face with this, and not just politically. So if you're not involved politically, maybe you should be, but if you're not involved politically, this can, this is also local. This is in your home, this is in your workplace, your community, as well as in our country and global. We're gonna talk about this I'm gonna take us back to Lincoln and a quote that was shared that really got me thinking about agency. I'm gonna encourage you to open your mind right now and open. Open it up to some possibilities. Ask yourself some questions while we talk about some of the history and some of the science behind agency and purpose, and how we can really make a difference even when we think it's not possible. In 1862, Abraham Lincoln stood before a country in chaos and said the dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion as our case is new. So we must think anew and act anew. We must dis enthrall ourselves and we shall save our country. Now, I'm sure that at that time, many thought, yeah, that's good for you. You're the president. You can impact change. But what can I do? I am faced with a lot of loss and fear and uncertainty, and I have no voice at the table. I'm sure that was in play, but what Lincoln was encouraging us to do is to think differently, to flip the script on how what we've been thinking about our lives, not mattering about letting these things go and be decided by others. Fast forward 160 years, when Governor Gavin Newsom Echoed that heartbeat, he said, we do have agency and we're not bystanders in this world. We can shape the future. This time requires us to act new, not just think new. Now, I'm sure that maybe some of you like me thought that's fine'cause you're a governor and you have a seat at the table and you could do something. But what is it that I can do? I feel powerless. And that powerless. Then you feel hopeless, and then you feel like you just have to go along for the ride. I can feel that way in my country. I can feel that way in my community. I can feel that way in my workplace. And if you let yourself, you can also feel that way in your home. Just answering to other people's agendas, reacting and just taking it as it comes. Now that sounds comfortable, but really is it? Psychology has long confirmed that humans thrive when we believe that our lives have meaning and our actions matter. Is that true of you as well? Think about agency. Agency is a belief that what you do can influence outcomes, and it's linked with higher resilience and mental wellbeing and persistence in the face of change. Purpose is having a why that matters to you. And that activates the brain's reward system. It releases dopamine and it creates that long-term motivation that will really outlast any willpower that you have or don't feel like you have. And here's the beautiful thing, is that agency and purpose, they reinforce each other. So when you act like your choices matter, your brain starts to believe that they do. And when you believe your choices matter, you start making them with greater clarity. And courage. I see it all of the time in my own life and I see it in others. I see it in those that I coach. It's so inspiring when that wheel gets turning and one action potentiates another. And it's just really beautiful. And I heard that echoed and it really, this is what inspired me is that in that interview when. The governor of California was sharing that. He shared a story about his own inspiration about people that showed up for a protest that the sheer numbers that showed up inspired him to take decisive action. And I almost didn't go to that protest just because it wasn't at a convenient time, and I thought, what does it matter? What does one person going standing in a crowd really matter? And maybe one person less wouldn't have mattered, but what if all of us thought that way? Those people might have thought the people that were standing around me might have thought, I'm just one person in the crowd and this probably doesn't matter. But turns out that it did. Each one person added up to thousands, added up to a voice of a, a. A large voice speaking out that motivated some of our leaders to take action and to do the next right thing. It set a chain of reaction in motion. This is that ripple effect. We cannot live the life we're meant for. If we keep shrinking back, waiting for a better time, or convincing ourselves that our voice is too small to be heard. Playing small doesn't keep you safe. It keeps you stuck. It doesn't feel good if you're honest with yourself. Playing small never feels good. There's always that voice that says, what if I could make a difference? History is full of moments when an ordinary person becomes the spark. Rosa Parks on a bus, a lone man standing in front of a tank, one good idea. In a meeting, one tough conversation in a home, one person in a family decides to get help, and it breaks the chain of generational trauma. In the moment, they may have felt insignificant, but looking back their actions were tipping points. You have action potential, and just like a neuron in the brain waiting for the right signal to fire. When it does, that signal can travel farther than you ever imagined. And here's what's so powerful, is that it's not just a nice idea, it's science. Neuroscience calls it social contagion, our emotions, actions, even courage spread through our networks faster than what we realize. When you show up even silently, you can change the equation. You make courage visible. and then someone else seeing you there might think. If they can do it, maybe I can too. I could testify to that because I am not the best public speaker by any means. I have some afflictions that make me look nervous in that I like get a lot of times I will get like red streaks on my neck when I speak. And, I know that there are drugs out there that public speakers take, and there are some techniques but I have not had the opportunity to master them, but I speak out anyway. I go up on stage, I risk looking nervous, and honestly, I'm usually nervous before I speak. And then once I get up there, maybe not so much, but early on I couldn't, I probably couldn't even have told you my name. I really had to prepare and it did not come naturally to me, and that showed. So I've had, I have had many people, mostly nurses tell me over the years that they saw me stand up there. They heard my voice shake. They saw my face turned red. But I spoke my truth and I gave my message with just sheer determination if nothing else, and they were inspired to think. Yeah, if she could do it, then maybe I can too, and I will take that all day long every day because I inspired somebody to speak out and I can, I could probably list about five people who are doing things far exceed anything that I have done. They're speaking out publicly. They are changing lives, they're changing cultures, and. I had a part in inspiring that by just showing up imperfect. and I'm so proud of that. And so if I can do that, even in my imperfect ways, and I'm sure that this is not and my podcast is not not even close to being a number one or even, I'm not even on the charts but. If you're here and anything that I say inspires you again, I will take that all day long, every day over doing nothing, I once had an opportunity to step on a stage and share my nursing research with a group of 30,000 people that was so above anything I could think or imagine that I would ever be doing. And I was told over and over, you need to leverage this. You need to do this with that, you need to ride this opportunity. You need to grow this opportunity. I didn't know. I was just speaking up with what I was asked to do at the time. What came out of it was a network of nurses, of thousands of nurses coming together around a common cause, a quote that I shared in that talk that I am motivated by it's foundational is was a quote by Francis Hesselbein and I shared it in that talk. And I'm gonna share it again today because if any of you could take this forward with. Into your life and to recognize the difficulty that it is to shift a culture and the effort that it takes If we want to live in a culture, if we wanna change the culture, this is it. It takes effort, it takes passion, and patience and persistence. Francis Hessel Biden said, culture does not change because we desire to change it. Culture changes when the organization is transformed. The culture reflects the realities of the people working together every day, and you are one of those people. I am one of those people. So the translation is culture changes when we change, when we take action that aligns with what we want our future to look like. Now, I acknowledge that's not gonna be the same for all of us, and I think that's the beauty of the world. We are, we have these interdependent relationships, and your passions, your strengths, your message are not gonna be the same as mine. But hopefully they will come together to make that beautiful human experience that we desire. Hopefully we will lead ourselves to default to grace and be able to to come to the table with the different ideas and different perspectives and create the beauty that we're all seeking. So Let me just reiterate. When you act like your voice matters, your brain starts to believe it. And when you believe it, you act more with clarity and courage, just like a neuron waiting to fire one action can set off a chain reaction far beyond what you can see in a moment. And maybe some of you need to hear that. maybe you're not gonna see that chain get set off and the results and the outcomes with everything that you do. Maybe you'll do the thing and you won't actually get to see it. maybe what we have is hindsight to see, but what that hindsight tells us is that what we do matters. So here's my question for you. Where in your life are you tempted to play small? Okay. Now maybe your showing up isn't about marching on a street. Maybe it's about speaking up in a meeting. Maybe it's just speaking your truth. Make signing your name on a letter or volunteering for something that matters. Maybe it's starting a conversation at your kitchen table. Attending a meeting, don't underestimate the quiet moments of courage. They are the building blocks of change. Don't underestimate those moments for a minute. That ripple effect is real. You're not just part of the crowd, you are part of change. So if you're ready to stop playing small and get clear on your next right step, I'd love to help schedule a clarity session with me, and together we'll map out where your voice and your presence and your purpose can have that greatest. Impact that session is completely free to you. I would be honored to be, to step into that journey with you and see what that next right step is. Because the world doesn't need more noise. It needs your voice. So I. Figure that out. However you do that. If it's not a session with me, do this with a friend or in your journal, or just go Do that next right thing with integrity and see how it feels Your life is too important to play it small. Until next time, Keep showing up. Keep speaking up and keep saying yes to your extraordinary self.