Are Outdated Rules Holding You Back? Here’s the Truth About Growth

What if the “rules” you’ve been living by are the very things keeping you stuck?

In this episode of Default to Yes, Nurse Coach and mindset mentor Juli Reynolds invites you to take an honest look at the outdated beliefs we inherit — about success, resilience, and what it takes to grow. Drawing parallels from healthcare, Juli reveals how myths like “fever is the enemy,” “you’re fine if you have no symptoms,” and “I can function on 5 hours of sleep” mirror the dogma we often carry into our personal lives.

You’ll discover why waiting for symptoms — in the body or in your life — is too costly, and how to start using both science and self-awareness to shift from assumptions to aligned action.

This episode blends neuroscience, behavior science, and real-life examples to help you see that growth isn’t about hustling harder — it’s about rewiring how you think, tracking what’s actually working, and choosing prevention over burnout.

Whether you’re navigating midlife, leading others, or just ready to stop second-guessing yourself, this conversation will help you drop the outdated rules and embrace the truth about what really drives transformation.

🧠 What You’ll Learn:

• The difference between outdated dogma and evidence-based growth
• Why prevention is more powerful than symptom management
• The truth about sleep, stress, and burnout — and what the data actually says
• How neuroplasticity proves you can change at any age
• The role of small wins, dopamine, and habit science in lasting transformation
• Why tracking your personal data (energy, sleep, mood) leads to better decisions
• Reflection questions to help you move from reaction to resilience

💡 Reflection Questions:

• Where am I still living by outdated rules?
• What beliefs have I accepted that no longer serve me?
• What is my personal data telling me — about what helps me feel alive versus what drains me?
• What would prevention look like in my emotional, mental, and spiritual life?

📣 Inspiration to Carry With You:

You don’t have to wait until something breaks to make a change.
 You can choose clarity.
 You can choose resilience.
 And you can Default to Yes — on the life you were made for.

Transcript

1:01

Welcome to another extraordinary week. Honored that you are tuning in today and honored to be on this journey with you. I held this topic that I wanted to talk about'cause I needed to mull it over for a couple weeks now, as things have unrolled. But today I wanna talk to you about something that we see both in healthcare and personal growth. You know that I'm a nurse and so I'm paying attention to what is going on in health. And I think unfortunately, a lot of us aren't. Or maybe maybe there's just too much happening too fast. But, I covered this back, during the pandemic and really got on this messaging with a group of nurses that I'm a part of and. I think it just applies now too, and it's something that I wrestle with and that is dogma versus data, and I wanna talk about that because I'm also in the wellness industry. So I work full-time in a healthcare setting and I also have a business that is focused on wellness and overall wellbeing and promoting that. As a nurse coach, I coach people in cell care and I am. Developing a course called Cell Care Academy for people to just take their health, health of mind, body and spirit to all levels on the cellular level, and really learn what it is to take care of our bodies and our minds and our spirit, and live that life that we are created for. a big part of that is separating or making the distinction between data versus dogmas. I wanna invite you into that conversation, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as well. So I usually hesitate to bring up a topic that I'm heading into controversy. and this is why I am going to take a very macro view of in general. Treating it like almost a mindfulness practice as to make that distinction between data and dogma so that we can ask ourselves the questions in every area of our lives. So thanks for joining me, in this conversation. And again, if you have, thoughts or feelings or questions, I encourage you to reach out in the show notes. There are links to send me a voice message to get on my email list. To connect with me in any way that is meaningful to you, because I want this to be a conversation that's important to me. In fact, I am possibly going through a rebrand of this podcast so that I can turn it more into a conversation I guess just fine tune that a little bit so that it's effective in creating the conversation, not just, listening every week and not, responding and not activating. So, yeah, so my hope is that this will create real change, in the way. Think and ultimately bring us joy and lead us to be able to live fully and to love openly, to imagine the possibilities, and then to go and inspire others to do the same. Alright, let's get started on this conversation. So first of all. We're creating the distinction between data and dogma. Dogma is when we do something, because that's how it's always been done. You work in places you, you live in homes. You live in communities that you can probably think about what. Dogma mean means in those settings do data is when we follow the evidence, the outcomes, the research, the real results. this comes into play a lot when we are dealing with. Old stories of maybe we are making decisions on what are we making decisions on, so the gap between the two, that's often the difference between just surviving and truly living and moving forward and being able to really embrace our calling. So let me give you a couple examples. start with healthcare because that's kind of how this all got started and stirred up in me. Let's start in healthcare. So for years we believed that fever was a problem and the dogma was bring the fever down right away. It's why why we give Tylenol right away. We wanna get that fever down. we see bringing the fever down as evidence of, of healing, and. And it is, but not in the way a lot of times that we approach it. So the data. Tells a different story. Fever actually is not the enemy, it's the body's way of fighting an infection. So today we would not, so, so suppressing it too early can actually slow down healing. I would deal with this a lot as a pediatric nurse advisor. I would be on the telephone, maybe in the middle of the night with a, with a mom who was very concerned about the fever. And, and being able to talk that mom through that the fever is actually helping us know that there's something wrong. We can use that as data to inform us on progress. But we don't wanna treat that. We don't wanna take it away right away. So we gave them parameters that always sounded way too high to let the fever go to 102. That is unheard. Like moms were freaking out because, that was our parameters and we had to really walk them through what a child could handle as far as a temperature goes and when we'd wanna see them. Well, if you're suppressing the fever, then we're not gonna see them. And maybe miss. Something important that needs to be treated because they technically don't have a fever and so you think they're okay. So data would suggest, obviously that fight, that a letting a fever run its course within parameters. Can speed up healing. It allows the body to really go to work. So suppressing it too early can slow down healing. So here's the analogy, is that in life stress and boredom and anxiety, they work the same way. but too often we numb them. Instead of addressing them, maybe we eat food, or drink alcohol, or binge on Netflix, or whatever it is that you do to numb those feelings instead of allowing ourselves to feel them and process them and get to the bottom of them. I love the clarity loop for that because we, I have developed myself a 10 minute tantrum. So that when I feel those feelings, I know that it's not gonna be forever and it's not gonna be all day that I feel those feelings. It's gonna be 10 minutes. I'm gonna give myself 10 minutes to throw a little tantrum about whatever went wrong, whatever. I'm feeling and then I can unpack with, I can use my clarity loop, my, my yes method to really unpack what went on and shut it down, like treat the root cause. And so then I don't have to turn to what, we, a lot of times people call buffering or numbing those things that, we do instead of being addressing the root cause. So. I'm gonna talk about something that, actually got me started on data versus dogma because we are smack dab in the middle of choosing in on, on a political basis what we are going to make decisions on. Dogma or data. stories or science? are we going to look at science or stories I prefer, I prefer embracing both. And that is very tricky for a lot of people and for a lot of reasons, because it means that we are going to disagree, we're gonna be frustrated by the science. either it doesn't support our story or we need more of it. And that is just the life of science. And it might be that it doesn't support our story in that it doesn't give us the information or it didn't give us enough information. Maybe we are several steps away from getting the information that we want to be able to make a decision and support our story and. I we're just not that patient these days. With all of that, we want to decide and we wanna decide now, and that is really it. okay to decide now if you're open enough to change your story and to change some of those thoughts. When the data rolls in with a different, supporting you in a different area. we need to be better at, at holding loosely to some of those things that we believe are true. we just need to stay curious, so that we can take data, not that we are wrong or that what we believe is completely off. It's more when data rolls in, we can change a little bit of our story to that, to allow it to support truth. And we can get curious and we can even be wrong. That's okay. we're gonna lean into this example of prevention. for a long time, we undervalued it. If you feel fine, then why bother? That was kind of the dogma. And then came data driven breakthroughs. mRNA vaccines. They showed us that prevention is powerful and it teaches the body to respond before a crisis hits. It reduces suffering, it saves lives and protects communities. And this is data that we have gathered over decades. and. Because it's in conflict with some stories, we wanna throw out the data. That's never a good idea. the data and tell a better story. The same is true in personal growth. We can inoculate ourselves with burnout and regret. And how we do that is by investing in clarity and resilience and healthy habits today, and not waiting until we collapse to be able to address those things. which is, is something in my coaching practice that I really want to, wanna promote the value of getting a coach before you need, in that you're not so far. you're not in so much pain and you don't have to go through burnout. If you address some of those things and prevent, prevent that breakdown and that exhaustion ahead of time. And we can do that by getting a coach of being proactive and identifying some of the things, some of the obstacles that are standing in our way, and really designing those strategies for a healthy mind, body, and spirit. And we do that before the problem hits. And that's a really hard thing to sell because again, the dogma is. If it ain't broken, don't fix it. Right. So just keep on going until you need the help. You don't see a doctor until you're sick. You don't see a therapist until thing. Everything's fallen apart. So, but here's where the myth, myth hits close to home. I hear it all the time. I can get by on five hours of sleep. Now, dogma would tell you that that is a badge of honor, that you don't have to sleep as much as other people. maybe you think sleep is a waste of time. Whatever feeling feelings about that is. But data is undeniable. Less than seven hours of sleep at night increases your risk of heart disease, obesity and cognitive decline. And the scary part is that people who think they're doing fine on little sleep are the worst at seeing their own decline. I, for example, when I first started nursing, I worked nights and worked in, I would get off work and immediately go to work on, my husband was in, a band that I did the booking for and I had a comedian also as a client that I did the booking for. And so, uh, the best time to reach the people I wanted to reach re toward it was in the morning. So I thought, perfect. I'll work at night and then I will get home and work for a while and. then I'll get sleep later. Well, that wasn't the very best thing to do. I would go to church, after work, I would go to family parties in the afternoon, on. In my work weekends. I would, people would, my friends and family would say, you need to go home and get some sleep, or you need to go take a nap, which drove me crazy. Take a nap. Did I tell you to take, you know, like that whole thing where night shift people are, are supposed to take naps, while everyone else gets like their full night's sleep. regardless, people would say, go, you need to go home and sleep. And I didn't. Well, I see pictures of myself during that time and I totally get it. I thought I was totally fine. Refresh, I would freshen up what I'd do my hair again or whatever I needed to do to look presentable. I mean, people go out after work and in the evenings, right? So I, that was no different except for that I would extend it as long as I possibly could, which would cut into my sleep. And it showed, I see pictures of myself and I was pale and it was just, yeah, I understand why they were saying what they said. Going back to my point, people who think they're doing fine on little sleep are the worst at seeing their own decline. I'm glad I only did that for a couple years. Just because you don't feel the symptoms yet doesn't mean that the damage isn't happening. my husband had a heart attack almost a year ago, and that was something that we did not really see coming. we did think that, we thought maybe some of the things that were going on were his asthma, but we did not see that heart damage. There were no symptoms that were clear and we. I just didn didn't see it until it was there and he ended up having, multiple bypass surgery. And, really, I'll just say I'm grateful that he is still with us. regardless what your health situation is, we carry those dynamics into personal life as well. So dogma would say you can't change who you are. Success means working harder than everyone else. Midlife is a crisis. These are some things that we hear and are perpetuated in our culture all the time, but data and personal growth looks very different. It's the science of neuroplasticity and I talk about it all the time because your brain can change at any age. We can give up on it. It's an amazing tool that we have to thrive. All throughout our lives, neuroscience research on habits and motivation. Its studies show resilience and purpose and connection are key predictors of how and longevity. And there's another layer, your personal data tracking, your sleep, your mood, and your energy, your progress, paying attention to what actually happens, paying attention to what actually helps you feel alive versus what drains you. That's how you move from living by assumptions or dogma to living by awareness or data. here's the challenge. We default to dogma and why. Well, dogma feels safe. It's comfortable, it's socially reinforced. we laugh at it, we say it, we don't even know if we believe it, but it's generally acceptable. And in healthcare, it can feel risky to challenge expert consensus. And in personal growth, it feels risky to challenge cultural norms, family patterns, or workplace expectations. It's hard to say something different than what all your peers are saying about some of these things. But here's the cost. Dogma without data creates burnout, disappointment, disconnection, and leads us into that place where we drift. And we wake up one day and we can't figure out what just happened. So that's why we need data. Neuroscience shows us that the brain rewires when we practice new thoughts and behaviors. HEBs law, neurons that fire together, wire together. Behavioral science shows us that small wins matter. each little promise that you keep creates a dopamine feedback that builds momentum and wellbeing. Research shows that purpose, connection, and resilience aren't woo. They're measurable predictors of long life, health, and happiness. Maybe you've seen the Netflix flick series, the Blue Zone. You can learn a lot there about what is actually working In the study of longevity, the data is there and the question is, are you willing to live by it? So let me ask you, where are you waiting for symptoms before you act? What dogmas about success and resilience are worth? Are you holding onto? And what does your personal data, your energy, your habits, your lived experience say is true? I wear a tracker. I have an Apple watch and it tracks my sleep, tracks my heart rate. And I am sometimes surprised when I'm feeling low energy, or maybe on those days that I feel hungry all day, I can go back and look at my sleep tracker and see that I had two or three nights that. That I didn't have a quality sleep, and then I have to go look at, well, what was I doing in the evening? did I stop eating a couple hours before bedtime? What was my screen time? Look, I can really look at that and I can make some really easy changes to get better sleep. And meet my goals then, because I feel better. I'm not hungry all day. I'm not tired all day. And sometimes those are things that I didn't notice because I felt like I've slept all night, but my tracker will say otherwise. So whether you have a tracker or not, You can start to notice that when you don't sleep well, when your quality of sleep is off, or your time of sleep is off, maybe you know that you stayed up too late reading that book. Maybe that is something that you do know. You could keep a journal. But you know what, how that shows up in your body. experts will say that the habits that we, implemented, the strategies that we sustained. Those things will reflect on us 72 hours later. So you can go back 72 hours, see what your schedule looked like, see what your emotional status, what happened. Then probably figure out what you can do about it so that you can stay on track with living your life and showing up in the world in the way you really want to. here's the truth. You don't have to wait until something breaks. You can choose prevention. You could choose growth and you could default to yes on living well today. So if you're ready to make that decision, let's talk, let's, schedule a clarity session with me together. We can cut through that noise and we can look at your personal data and we can create the future that you want to live. I wanna leave you with a few questions to carry into your day. Where are you still living with dogma, old rules, outdated beliefs, or that's just the way it is? what does your personal data, your energy, your habits, your lived experience say, is actually true? And what one small step could you take today to choose prevention, resilience, and growth before the symptoms show up? You don't have to wait until something breaks to make change. You can default to yes on clarity and courage, on living the life that you actually love. So as you get up every day, ask yourself, where can I say yes to? What matters? Most today because those small, consistent yeses, they are what? Why your brain reshape your story and rewrite your future. I wanna see you showing up every day and living the life that you're created for, and that doesn't always look like Happy, happy, joy, joy. Sometimes it does look like I'm down on the couch. I'm reading a book. I don't care. I've gotta take care of myself. Sometimes it just means going to work and showing up and getting it done, and getting through it, and just not judging, noticing not judging. Alright, I can't wait to hear from you. Until next time, keep showing up. Keep saying yes, and keep living your life. Living the life that you were created for. as you get up every day to default to yes, your extraordinary self.