Part 1: Default to YES - A Regulated Nervous System

Transcript

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Welcome to an extraordinary time in your life. this is part one of six So if you want that, get on the email list, click the link below, and I will send them all to you at the same time so you have them. this might be in the form of a private. Podcast so that you would always have it, you can binge it, listen to it in the car on the go, however you want to consume this. But regardless, this is episode one of a six part series that covers my, path, to. Transformation. And we're gonna start with talking about the nervous system and calming the body and freeing the mind. And I like to talk about nervous system regulation because I think that's where we are. So why is nervous system regulation the foundation? Of everything. Well, before we talk about goals and habits or even mindset, we need to talk about the nervous system because if your nervous system is overwhelmed, your brain cannot do its best work and that's not because you're failing, but because this is how you were designed. This is where the trying hard. And giving up cycle comes from when we set goals and habits and even try to achieve a mindset before we recognize our foundational mindset. And this is where we do some serious work in coaching as far as finding out, what our foundation is, core values, what we're basing all of this on, what are some of those thoughts that are actually sabotaging your work that come from a dysregulated nervous system? Now what. Actually is happening in your brain is that many people today are living in what neuroscience calls a chronic stress activation. And this isn't just a feeling, it's a physiological state. When your brain perceives threat, whether the threat is physical danger, emotional stress, uncertainty, or even constant information overload.'cause remember, the brain doesn't actually know if you're experiencing, If you're putting a lot of stressful, even taking in the news, your brain doesn't always know between real threat and perceived threat. They're the same to the brain. The amygdala becomes more active during this time. Now the amygdala is your brain's alarm system. It's job is to keep you safe. So we like. The amygdala. We just have to recognize its function and understand how it's working for us so we can train our brain to cooperate with us so that we can show up in the way that we really want to. Again, the amygdala's job is to keep you safe So it's a good thing. We want it working for us, but when it's activated too often it begins to over fire. Now, at the same time, the activity in the prefrontal cortex, that part of your brain that's responsible for decision making and impulse control, long-term thinking and emotional regulation. All of those things become reduced. This is sometimes referred to as an amygdala hijack, and it's the state that your brain shifts from creation to protection, from possibility to problem scanning, from intentional response to automatic reaction. This is when we get so stressed. This is when that pot boils over and more we, and we just. Lose it a little bit on even just really basic minor things and we wonder what happened. And a lot of that is because our amygdala has been hijacked and our prefrontal cortex isn't working for us to pick out, to make good decisions and be proactive and to be responsive. So we're just reacting. so if you've ever thought I know what to do, I just can't seem to do it, or I know what not to do, I just seem ke seem to keep doing it. That's not lack of discipline. it's a state dependent brain. Now let's talk a little bit about what research shows about stress and thinking. The cognitive behavior theory. And this is, a lot of this work has been work that I have studied and applied to my aroma cognition techniques Cognitive behavioral theory is one of the most evidence-based psychological approaches. It teaches that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all interconnected. But here's what's important. Your ability to change your thoughts depends on your physiological state. So research shows that under stress, attention narrows negative bias increases, threat perceptions rise, and cognitive flexibility decreases. So it's a lot harder to train your brain when you are. In the state of dysregulation. So in other words, your brain becomes more likely to assume the worst replay problems, struggle to see solutions, and this is why trying to just think positive when you're overwhelmed just rarely works. because the brain you're trying to use is not fully online. So this is why regulation comes before transformation. We have to be aware of what our state is. This is where the shift really happens. Before we try to change our thoughts, we need to change our state. Neuroscience shows that activating the parasympathetic nervous system that's often called the rest and restore system helps to bring the brain back into balance. And one of the primary pathways involved is the vagus nerve, which connects the brain to the body and plays that key role in regulating heart rate, breathing, digestion, emotional. Date so. Practices like slow breathing and stillness and sensory awareness can stimulate this system. And then what happens is the amygdala quiets down and the prefrontal cortex reengages cognitive flexibility returns and we can think, we can recognize that we maybe are not actually in the threat situation that our brain is sensing and putting us into. You literally regain access to your ability to think clearly. I teach my patients this a lot when they are in crisis mode or they are panicked Usually it comes up mostly during IV starts and this is the time and I would say that I experience this as a patient. I experience this whenever I go to the dentist, literally start to feel like that, In a fight or flight mode. and everything just, I don't think I could make a good decision at that time. And it's of feeling a panic. all of this system protecting you from a threat, whether it's real or perceived. slow breathing and stillness and sensory awareness, maybe even Visualization can stimulate the system, and when that happens, we're able to quiet the amygdala, then the prefrontal cortex, reengages cognitive flexibility returns, and you literally regain your ability to think clearly. This allows you to discern whether you are in real threat or perceived threat and bring that back online. This is again, part of that training your brain to cooperate with you so you can show up in the world in the way that you really want to. Sometimes it's just showing up in the moment the way you really want to. Now, this is where science and scripture meet as well. Long before we had brain scans. Scripture pointed us to the same pattern. Be still and know that I am God. Stillness is not just a spiritual language, it's biological regulation. When we become still, we create conditions where the body shifts outta stress and into safety. And from that place, we can know, we can think clearly. We can discern, we can place our trust where it belongs. We can. Be transformed by the renewing of our minds, as Paul wrote in Romans 12, two. But transformation requires access to the mind and requires regulation. So many people try to grow spiritually when remaining physiologically overwhelmed, and you feel almost like, again, you enter into those trying hard and giving up cycles. this is where I think a lot of burnout comes from, but when the body is in constant stress, prayer feels scattered, focus feels difficult, reflections. Feel shallow. It's hard to get at the meaning of anything when you're feeling physiologically overwhelmed. This is also that hierarchy of needs, right? Maslow's hierarchy of Needs survival mode is not a place where we are really able to grow and get clarity. this isn't a lack of faith, it's a lack of regulation. So when the nervous system is calm, something shifts. You become more present, more attentive, and more receptive When I read the stories of Saints and the testimonies of spiritual heroes and of people who are spiritual mentors, I notice that there's something there about becoming more present and more attentive and more receptive and being able to really take in and discerning you can actually engage with truth instead of reacting from fear when you're in a regulated state. and this is where trust can grow. Now, this isn't an absence of doubt or an absence of uncertainty. Someone once said to me, I heard once, a long time ago, You've probably heard it said that doubt leads to trust. And so there is definitely a place for doubt and curiosity and a feeling of uncertainty. That's not what we're talking about. And that's why it's so important for us to be regulated so that we can have that level of discernment that leads us to the places that we want to get to, of places of truth, and that places where we can really keep our minds focused on the things that are lovely and true and praiseworthy. let's just make this a little more practical. One of the most research ways to regulate the nervous system is through controlled breathing and especially extended exhales. we all know to take a deep breath but putting the emphasis on the exhale you'll find is a whole lot more benefit So we're gonna try this a little. You've probably done this before. inhale through your nose for four seconds and then hold it for two, and then exhale slowly for six to eight seconds. you don't have to put a timer on it. You could just count. That's fine. just make sure you're taking your time. So we're gonna try it now. inhale through your nose, one, two. Three, four, hold two, exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. And then you wanna repeat that for a minute or two. A few cycles of that for, like I said, one to two minutes. This pattern stimulates the vagus nerve and signals safety to the brain. Obviously, if you are in danger, you are not going to be breathing slowly and exhaling slowly like this. That's a signal to your brain. Also positioning. If you are in a place where you can lay down and put your head back, it kind of signals to your brain that we're taking a nap, so we must not be in a whole lot of danger. Studies have shown that if just a few minutes of slow breathing can reduce cortisol, lower heart rate, improve emotional regulation, and increase the focus, I like to add essential oils into this practice so that I'm also breathing in the chemical compounds that automatically stimulate my amygdala. They. work in that limbic system for emotional regulation. And I like to choose citrus oils or mitts, even wood oils, florals, they all have different functions, but whatever it is that if you wanna be uplifted, I'd choose a citrus, more alerts, more awake. Choose a mint more grounded. Choose a wood oil or a tree oil. florals tend to be very relaxing and calming. I'd like to choose those aromas to accompany with this with my breathing. It also can help when we get to aroma cognition, you would see that you're also being able to embed memories and thoughts into that practice so that things become a little more automatic. Maybe even so as you breathe. You'd simply just notice your body and your thoughts and your environment that there's no need to fix anything. Just to notice, This is a key principle of mindfulness, is to notice and not judge to know that in this time there's no need to fix anything. You just notice if you have thoughts, just notice them. Don't judge them. Things in your environment. Notice them, don't judge them. So important and'cause you can deal with all of that later when you regulated your nervous system. So why this matters for everything else is everything that we are going to talk about in this series builds on this foundation, thought awareness, clarity. Purpose and alignment. you cannot access these fully from a dysregulated state. What happens is you have some kind of epiphany during your clarity loop, or maybe if we're coaching or your journaling, you have this epiphany and you recognize the thought, but it's really hard to access it fully from a dysregulated state, and then you snap back into. Wherever it was that you were coming from. And it's really hard to get clarity in that space. So when you learn to regulate your nervous system, you create that space. And in that space you begin to think differently and feel differently, and choose differently, and those things start to stick. and they start to become who you are, and you start to move more freely in the direction of your dreams, in the direction of who you want to be and who you're becoming, who you're called to be, who you're created to be. So a question to carry with you is this, today I want you to begin asking, what state is my nervous system in right now? Am I operating from urgency or from steadiness, from fear, or from clarity? Now, this isn't to judge, it's just to notice and you might wanna open up your journal or a notepad take pen to paper and write it down because awareness is the beginning of change and you'll be really surprised what comes out when you just start to write and you're not judging it, you're just noticing. This is another really great way. Talk to a friend, talk to a therapist. schedule a discovery session with me and we can talk through this as well. just make sure you get it. Out of your head and in front of you so that you can notice not judge, and embrace that awareness is that beginning of change. It's the beginning of really embracing who you really are, who you're created to be, and who you want to become. The important thing to notice is that we don't begin this journey by doing more. I'm not asking you to do a whole lot of difficult things or to rework your day or your routines. Just notice we begin becoming by becoming more aware. More grounded, more steady. And from that place, we can build slowly and intentionally with wisdom. So tomorrow morning when you wake up, take that slow, deep breath, do a couple minutes of that deep breathing, create that moments of stillness And then recognize that every day is another opportunity to default to yes, your extraordinary self.