Part 6 of 6 - Default to Yes: Designing Your Extraordinary Life

In the final episode of the “Default to Yes: Your Extraordinary Self” series, we are bringing the tools together to focus on designing the life you’re called to live by training your brain to cooperate through understanding, compassion, and practice. They emphasize you don’t need more information but integration, addressing the common gap between what you know and how you live, and explaining how the brain defaults to what’s familiar for efficiency, safety, and comfort. Through neuroplasticity, you can create new pathways by building a simple daily rhythm: regulate the nervous system, notice and question thoughts, stay connected to the body, shape inputs and environment, and act from identity and values through small repeated choices. 

00:00 Final Episode Kickoff

00:52 Information vs Integration

02:11 The Knowing Doing Gap

03:01 Rewiring Your Defaults

04:18 Simple Daily Rhythm

06:14 Identity Values Choices

07:09 Invitation to Rise

08:55 Renewing the Mind

10:13 Perseverance and Practice

11:06 Next Steps Stay Connected

12:23 Podcast Pause and Curiosity

14:17 Email List and Recap

15:05 One Day at a Time

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to episode six, our final episode in our default to yes, your Extraordinary Self Series. We're bringing everything together and today we're gonna talk about designing the life that you are called to live. And this brings in what it is to default to, yes, your extraordinary self. Our main job is just that, to make our default mode our extraordinary self, to summon the best of who we are, and to really just train our brains to cooperate with us so that we can show up in the world in the way we really want to. And that means understanding how our brain works and how we can work with it. Our brains are fascinating tools that we can use and we can only do that well if we understand them and we give grace and compassion. And so there's just that. One thing I wanna say right at the beginning of this episode is, first of all, you don't need more information. I'm pretty confident that if you're listening to this, you are somebody who leans into personal growth. You probably read books, listen to other podcasts. You're probably in different programs. You've probably taken courses. You don't need more information. You need. Integration. If you have made it this far in life in a place that you have a phone and you listen to podcasts and you are hearing my voice right now, it just means that you have, that you, it means that you have some inner wisdom and a drive to be, uh, to live the life that you're called to. And that means that you just need to take that and those tools and all of that inner wisdom. All of the wins, all of the lessons along the way and integrate them. And if you've listened to this entire series, you've at least learned, you've been integrating, you've been, creating an awareness around a lot. You understand your nervous system. You've at least started noticing your thoughts. You've practiced breathing and grounding. Maybe even using aromas. You've reflected on your values, your identity, and who you're becoming. And now we arrive at the real question, what do you do with all of this? Now there's a gap that we all feel, and most people live in a kind of a quiet gap. That's the gap between what they know and how they live. This is that thing that makes us say, I know what to do. Why can't I just keep doing it? This is, or, I know what not to do and why do I keep doing it? daily life still feels reactive. It still feels rushed, still feels just slightly out of alignment. And that's because insight alone doesn't change your life. You can read all the books in the world on personal growth And the development of the skills that you want and still not change. What changes us is practice and design. Your brain will default to something. So we need to. Take every thought captive and we need to give it some direction. Your brain will always look for efficiency. It will always look for safety. It will always look for comfort, and it will always look for what it thinks is important to you. And that means. The things that you do over and over again. The things you think over and over again, the things you focus on over and over again. You're teaching your brain what is important to you. And so it will go in its default mode will be to go to those things, go towards those things, look for those things. What is familiar, what is practice, what is easy, not necessarily what is aligned This is why you can have the best intentions in the world and still find yourself reacting instead of responding. Saying yes when you meant no, saying no when you meant yes, falling back into patterns that you thought you moved past. Now, this isn't failure, it's wiring. And that's where what's important is because we can change all of this. The good news is that through neuroplasticity, your brain can change. You can teach your brain what you really want. You can train it, you can guide it, and you can actually teach it to cooperate with the life that you really want to live. So in bringing it all together, let's just take a moment to bring everything. Into a simple, integrated rhythm. It's important not to make it complicated. So we're gonna take a moment to bring everything from this series into one simple integrated rhythm. Not complicated, not overwhelming, just intentional. first, you regulate your nervous system. You start your day with awareness. Before the noise, before demands. You take that deep breath and you create some space. You notice your thoughts. You don't believe everything that your mind offers. we have to remember that we can't believe everything that we think and not everything that we think is true. You observe, you question. You choose what is true. Hopefully you've been making that journal and you've got some really good questions to ask yourself to start the day with and to ask throughout the day, maybe even to bookend with a. A morning space and an evening space to review. then you stay connected with your body. You pause throughout the day. You check in, you reset when needed, and then shape your environment. You become intentional about what you take in your space, your inputs, your sensory cues. Not all of this is in our control. We do have a lot of things that come at us that are, um, outside influences or outside, stimuli, but we get to choose what we're gonna do with that. Sometimes it's just acknowledging that this is the space I'm in and I'm going to allow myself some decompression to offload this at the end. And I would say this on a busy day when you're multitasking and then you're multitasking on the multitasks, not that that's a great idea, but it's sometimes it is a reality. Make some space to offload some of that and give your brain a break to let it know that that is not what you want to be the norm. Then living with from identity and values, you're asking yourself, what should I do? And then you ask, what do I want to be right now? Again, going back to these questions that hopefully you have a journal page that you can use. This is how a life is designed. Not in one big moment, but in small, repeated choices. And we get to do this every day. We're not gonna do it perfect. We are gonna have. 50 50, right? Good days, bad days. And I'm not even sure if we wanna label them good or bad, but days that feel good, days, that feel busy, days, that feel chaotic, days, that feel smoother than others. All of that is just part of our human experience. We don't get a hundred percent calm and aligned and zen, right? We, we get all of it together and we get to build the skill and train our brains too. Show up the way we really want to. So this is a challenge and the invitation. We are living in a time that pulls us in a thousand directions. We've got noise, distractions, pressure, expectations, and it's really easy to live. Reactively go from day to day, just reacting to our environment, reacting to the social media posts, the news of the day, uh, what's happening at work. Maybe it's an interaction with others, what's happening in your family. It's really easy just to keep reacting to that and then to drift. To settle. To settle for this is just what it is. And then we begin to operate at a level below who we actually are. I believe that something different is possible, and this is why, what keeps me going on the days that I just wanna quit. you've probably heard it say, don't quit on a bad day. Really good rule to live by and don't make decisions on those big decisions on the days that you're feeling a little chaotic or feeling, um, a little less hopeful and optimistic. I believe we are being invited to rise, not in a performative way, but, and not in a pressure-filled way, but in a deeply intentional way to summon the best of ourselves and to become people who are aware and grounded and clear and aligned. People who can love fully and live fully, who can show up and contribute operate out of a, a strong character and compassion. I think we can be creative. We are creative people, not people who just react to life, but participate in creating it. Now, training your brain to cooperate, that's really what this work is all about. you can train it to cooperate with you instead of working against you. And when I say working against you, it's those automatic, um, thoughts on plate. We all have a soundtrack that maybe have developed in when, in your childhood, before you had any thought of being able to manage things that are in your brain and you began to just really be formed by that. And this is a work of being transformed by the renewing of our mind, so that when life gets hard, and it will. You don't lose yourself. You don't spiral as quickly You don't default to old patterns as easily because you practiced something different. You've created new pathways. You've built capacity. You have, even just by making that journal page, you've given yourself a, an on-ramp to the thing that you want to come off of a, a. Crazy time or off of a time of where you're maybe just exhausted and a little derailed. You've courage yourself an on-ramp to summon the best of yourself. Just by making that page, you've got the right questions to ask if you just are willing to sit down and feel all the feels and answer those questions. Now, I'm reminded of this in Hebrews 12, one when I think of this, I think, but sometimes it's just hard. Well, Hebrews 12 12 1 says, let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Nowhere in there does it say that we're not gonna fall down, that we're not gonna go faster Pace sometimes and slower pace. Others that We're not gonna have to stop to hydrate and nourish our bodies that we're not going to meet with resistance along the way, but let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, and that's the race marked out for you for me. It's already marked out. We just need to run it. Your race, your life, your calling and running it well doesn't happen by accident. It happens through intention and through practice, through choosing again and again how you'll show up. Now what this all means going forward. I've said that I'm gonna, I'm gonna put a pause on this podcast, but it doesn't mean that we don't have to lose contact. In fact, I'd like to deepen that if we can. You don't need to implement everything Don't put that pressure on yourself. You don't need to get this. Perfect. For sure. I don't. I know this. I have the tools. I can move forward. I can pause, I can hit the pause button and I can get right back on track. You don't have to do perfect. You just need to begin. So choose one or two tools from this series and practice them, return to them over and over again, and let them become part of your daily rhythm. This is for me, this all the things that we've talked about. Is Over a decade process of integrating one little thing at a time. Essential oils and aromatics came to me over years of using them every day throughout the day and really learning what that looks like and how my body responds and learning as I go. But it took some time. So don't put your. Don't put a timeline on this. Don't put a pressure just one day at a time because rhythm becomes identity, and identity is what shapes your life. Now I said I was gonna pause the podcast and, and I am for a season to figure out what really, what I wanna do with this. And I feel like there's something deeper and I was inspired by a coworker who when she told me why she was leaving, she said she wanted to give curiosity space and I just really loved that. And so that's what I'm doing now. I'm gonna borrow, uh, her words on that because I really thought that, it just really resonated with me at the time as well. I want to invite you to stay connected with me. I would love to continue this work with you and connect in a deeper way. I'd love to hear from you guys. I love to hear from people who listen to these episodes and hear how it's being integrated and how it's landing out there, because this is a hard work to. I guess to put myself out there and to share these things in hopes that it lands on the person that really needs it as well. The things that I shared here have changed my life. They're things I'm learning. They're things that I think are essential for moving forward and moving through this, this experience that we're having. And I want to do this with you, and I want to make a contribution as well. And so I want to give curiosity a space. and really find out How I can make a contribution and how I can best help those who are also looking to make this shift. If you felt something shifting as you're listening and if it's resonated with you, and if you've been thinking, I don't want to go back to the way I was living before. I want this default mode of extraordinary. I wanna summon the best of myself and I'm struggling, I. I want to invite you to stay connected. I would love to continue this work with you, to walk with you as you integrate these tools into your life. Not perfectly, but just consistently. So here's the next step. You can simply, if you wanna continue this to the do this work and you want some accountability, and you want some support, some coaching along the way, just simply click the link. In the show notes and join the email list. When you do that, I'll send you a full recap of all the tools in this series, links to each episode, and simple next steps to help you begin applying this in your life. And from there you'll also hear about opportunities that we have to work together, if that feels aligned with you. Now as I shared, I'd be stepping away from the podcast for a season to pray, to study, to write, and not because I'm done because, but because I believe that something deeper is being formed and I want to create space for it. So if you're someone who wants to live with intention. If you are someone who wants to grow, if you are someone who wants to wake up each day and default to, yes to your calling, to your life, to your person, to the person that you're becoming, this is your moment. Not to do everything, but just to begin. Tomorrow morning, take a breath, notice your thoughts, ground your body, choose your direction, and rise just a little to meet the life in front of you, because this is how change happens. Not all at once, but one intentional day at a time. Let's stay connected as you get up every day and default to yes to your extraordinary self.